My client wanted assistance with motivation and discipline to get her to be able to exercise regularly, in order to lose weight. She had learnt EFT with me before and had already used it to combat some emotional eating and chocolate addiction (which is fantastic!), but was having trouble with the issue of exercising. She would tell herself each night that the next day she would get to the gym.. and it would never eventuate.
In terms of establishing a BEFORE: Her weight is 116 kg. She is feeling “unmotivated, not sexy, icky at the thought of going out in public, not confident an unable to wear clothes that reflect who I am.”
On 6th August the feeling was:
- I can’t be bothered.
- Don’t want to get sweaty.
- I’ll get hot but the heater needs to be on for my baby in bed.
- I will get too tired and need to not be so tired later on.
- I don’t want to go out.
So I asked her about working out at home and whether this is something that she did. She said she’d be too embarrassed if her husband was to walk in on her and see her “flubber” in action. I asked if he was likely to comment and she said no, that it was just her insecurities speaking.
I asked her to think about her body and what the feeling was. She said that her immediate thought was “I’m not worth it” which she said was a little scary – a significant realisation.
I asked her to tap for “Calm“, then “I’m not worth it“.
She said when she tapped for “I’m not worth it” that there was a sense of “Don’t be silly!” and “I give you permission!” and she had tears in her eyes in the process. An emotional release as she began to embrace her worth.
We briefly talked about the concept of aspects and changing emotionally and the outward needing to adjust to match with it. This really resonated with her and she talked about how the act of exercising really helped her to feel strong and powerful and GOOD, it was just a matter of getting to do it.
On August 7 she went to the gym. She found that she was arguing with herself beforehand: one part was telling herself that her husband was going and she wouldn’t have time to go if he was, the other part was insisting that she was allowed to go and that there would be time, even just for 20 minutes. I suggested that she tap for the ‘don’t go’ aspect and also for allowing time for herself.
For the next little while she happily went to the gym (and personal trainer) when time allowed, with no resistance. Things went smoothly until one morning when the person who opened the gym for the day ran late, so her husband arrived to hand over their child so he could start his own gym session – and she missed out.
She was very angry and annoyed at him because of this and stewed on it for several days. Over that time she recognised a few things that had also bothered her. Her husband came home from the gym and she had been waiting for him to get home so she could hand over the baby to him and shower herself to get ready for the day. But he jumped into the shower before her and when she told him she had needed a shower, he just said “That’s nice”.
She also was trying to work out who would pick up their son from a sitter on a specific day and time when she returns to work and he said “Well it won’t be me. Won’t happen. Won’t be possible”.
She got angry, and he got angry in response and they stopped speaking to each other.
She felt as though she wasn’t allowed to be angry at him, but was not willing to back down or give up like she might have previously. She was seeing more clearly how much she had let go, changed, and lost, when they had a baby and nothing had changed for him. She was feeling unappreciated and that he expected her needs to come after his in a way. I suggested she tap for all of these feelings, specifically the anger and him coming before her.
Later when I contacted her she said that she was feeling depressed and hadn’t tapped yet. In her book “You Can Heal Your Life”, Louise Hay describes depressed feelings as “Anger you feel you do not have a right to have“. This is what I was thinking about when I told her that she was allowed to be angry and was allowed to feel her feelings. I reminded her that she was changing and putting herself as a priority more than she had in the past, and that her husband was used to that version of herself and responding as he normally did. Yet she was not the same and was as such seeing it differently, and as such seeing her husband differently.
She acknowledged that and she also had a sore throat which wasn’t helping her emotional state. I let her know that sore throats often have emotional roots in issues of expression or communication, and to express what she was feeling, even if it was just to journal it.
The next day she tapped for “Time for me” in the morning and felt that she was more able to face the world.
16th August, she went to personal training and found that she had lots of energy and lifted heavier weights and did more reps and felt GOOD. She had a shower and then tapped for “Empowered” in relation to how she was feeling and how much she was loving it.
Which had several realisations associated with it:
She said “I am not going to ask for ‘permission’ to go to the gym, it’s for me and that’s fine. Not asking is being true to who I am and that’s who my husband fell in love with. Someone who doesn’t give a “flying F” what others think, especially when it comes to ME!”.
She felt that it has evolved from “I want to go to the gym but I don’t have time” to “I’m going to the gym rain, hail or shine!”
She acknowledged that she loved “that girl” that she was when she met her husband, the one who did things for her and stood up for herself, and that she missed her.
She had a realisation about her boss at work. How her boss doesn’t understand her or what she is about. That she’d been trying to mould my client into herself, yet she was fighting a losing battle trying to fit into a mold that she never could.
She felt empowered across the board. Relating to work, standing up for herself and also in terms of sex. In my client’s words: “FFS why have I let people start walking all over me!! Well it stops NOW!!!!!!!”
In 2.5 weeks she has lost 2 kilos and is loving her new lifestyle and looking forward to achieving her goals for her body and her shape. Also embracing her personal power and asserting her needs in what she wants. I’m so thrilled for her!
Afterword: This is another example of how we don’t have to force and push and battle with ourselves in order to do things that we want to do, and how simply changing the inner makes changing the outer a natural progression.
If you’d like to arrange your own session, email me at info’at’dogrosehealing.com to book!