Is that a boring enough title? Because another top contributor of stress in a family on the list I am working through is: Sex life of the alpha couple. Dun dun duhhhhh! 😉
While this is a personal subject matter, my clients get pretty personal with me and I’m not afraid to share. Sex it’s a natural part of life and a natural part of a healthy adult relationship and an important topic of healing. The energetic/emotional components should be given attention when things just aren’t working and are so often forgotten or ignored. Libido isn’t just about the sex organs or using willpower or schedules to make it happen. We’re not robots. The usual options when couples aren’t connecting in the bedroom seem to be to force it and fake it or to avoid it completely. I choose neither! I’ve tried and failed with those options. I choose to improve energy flow in relation to sex and remove anything that might be preventing swinging-from-the-chandelier, firework inducing, amazing, fun, <insert adjective of your choice here> sex!
So I read out this entry on the stressor list to my husband. He said even the words (“Sex life of the alpha couple”) got him excited. So I suspect his energy is flowing just fine! To me even reading the entry on the list filled me with.. a feeling. A feeling of wanting to be protected. This wasn’t exactly a surprise to me but the clarity of seeing this was intriguing. I was ready to look into it further.
So the way I approached this was with a variation on the energy habitats I’ve been talking about. I simply wondered what a visual representation of the issues with our sex life would be, with the intention of being shown them, and BANG, there it was: We were sitting on the couch at opposite ends facing each other and I ‘saw’ a thick piece of glass or clear plastic between his ‘aspect’ and my ‘aspect’. I wasn’t sure why this was here or how to shift it but it wasn’t going anywhere in a hurry. I told my husband about the glass and he scurried off to find an energetic blowtorch somewhere. Just kidding. This was my glass to sort out. 🙂
Even through the day as I got side tracked and did other things I still saw that glass following me around and sitting between my husband and I. I actually kind of liked it there (anyone who has had their heart broken before will understand this) but I knew it needed to go if things were to change in that department. My relationship with this glass went in stages over the day:
- First it was just there and the aspect was hanging back and looking at it. Observing.
- Then I felt the aspect had their nose pressed up against it looking through at my husband’s aspect. I knew it had to go and was more confident in allowing it to happen.
- The aspect had their hands up on it. They wanted to get through it. And it felt like the warmth of their hands and intention of shifting it was melting and thinning out the glass.
Oh so slowly though. Painfully slowly. But at last the glass was gone!
When I then reconsidered the “Sex life of the alpha couple” entry, my aspect had her hands firmly over her heart now. As though her heart was exposed and raw and needed shielding and protection. She was NOT letting anyone in. Even the thought of considering releasing this protection made me feel upset. It was obvious to me that a big issue here was willingness to be open and to allow my partner in and I wasn’t able to do that with this protection in place.
The thought of the aspect letting her hands down filled her/me with fear and dread. So I took a good look at what doing that would mean. It might mean that I would get hurt. It might mean that I would be exposed to whatever my partner decided to inflict upon me. Yet I had to wonder, did I not trust my partner? I knew that I did. I knew that I loved him and that he was a gentle and kind person – that it was more of a perceived fear. Of what could happen. Stuck in what had happened before and the possibility of it happening again. But who wants to live trapped by coulds?
So I used EFT here and tapped away the fear and also tapped to improve my trust in his gentle caretaking of my heart, and also in my being open from the heart. Allowing him in. Allowing love in. I felt a warm rush to the heart after this, and my whole body felt buzzy and alive. This feeling (called a Healing Event) is why I love energy work. A natural high.. and it was completely free. I also love the ability to take charge of my life and not be a victim to past hurts forever and ever, potentially missing out on the parts that would never have hurt me anyway.
Not only was there a shift relating to my husband, making changes relating to openness and trust had everything feel as though it was softened and I felt more compassionate and gentle towards everyone in my family.
Now we just have to wait until my husband gets over his cold… Hmm, energetic reversal on his part perhaps?? 🙂