EFT Case Story – Relationship struggle: Hating her husband.

My client today explained a number of situations where she felt scattered, disorganised, exhausted and unable to focus. She was finding herself emotional all the time and procrastinated with things that she really wanted to do.

We began by tapping for “Calm” to de-stress her energy.

From here she admitted that it related to not feeling loved and that it seemed to centre around her relationship with her husband. When I asked her how she felt about him, she said “I feel nothing, and that’s scary”. She expanded on this and how she would not want to be touched, how she wouldn’t say “I love you” back to him and that she didn’t want to be around him. She rated the situation and her feelings for him as -10 on the SUE scale, which is very strongly negative. She described it as “Hatred“, so this is what we tapped for.

After tapping for this, she described that she had a flashback during the tapping. She was thinking about a situation in the past where she had been hurt in a 2 year relationship, was coming out of that, didn’t want to be hurt again and she was ready to swear off men completely. Then she met her (future) husband and she was quite rude to him and pushing him away. He had said to her “I don’t ever want to leave you because of the love I have for you. I love you too much”.

In some ways she was reminded of her father and saw him in her husband. She remembered situations where they had made choices about money and finances and she had gone along with what he had said and it had gone badly. She had got them to a better place and he had been thankless. She also saw that her father hadn’t acknowledged the good things that she had done. She found herself avoiding admitting things, not wanting her husband to be right. She also mentioned and acknowledged illnesses that she had had that she knew were a physical manifestation of her negative feelings towards him. Recognising a need to make changes.

At this stage she rated the issue as -4 which is a significant jump! When she thought of him, the sense she got was “Disrespect“, which was a pattern in terms of how she felt about her father also. We tapped for this.

After this round she was thinking about him coming home soon. She noticed that she was mildly enthusiastic about it, but had a sense of “We’ll see, he’ll do something to ruin it”. At this stage she felt sad. She was more able to see that some of the treatment she had given him was harsh and not necessarily deserving. She had wondered if it was his expectations on her, but he really had very little. Any expectations came from her father.

She started talking about “before the tapping” and “the illusion of my husband as my father” which I was thrilled to hear. I could tell that she had separated the two men in her mind and recognised that they were different people, with different histories and stories. She was looking forward to working as a team with her husband, that they had enjoyed doing tasks together in the past and she wanted more of that. She felt +5 at this stage. A positive indicator of another amazing jump forward of emotional evolution!

As she was on the positive end of the SUE scale now, I asked her to think about how she wanted to feel about her husband or their relationship. She decided on “Happy with ____” (his name). After this round of tapping she rated the issue at +7.

We then tapped for “Love“. She was reminded of their wedding day. How it was such a wonderful day for them together and she was able to soak it all up and enjoy it. She remembered him looking at her coming down the aisle and how much he loved her. She also remembered how he had taken care of so many things on that day and had taken care of her.

When I asked her how she felt about her husband now, she said LOVE. She rated her feeling as +10!

Afterword:

I am absolutely thrilled for my client for being able to evolve how she was feeling in order to find a more positive place and feeling! I am blown away by how we were able to turn around at least 6 months of negative feeling toward her husband (with a crossover of a lifetime of negative feelings towards her father) into love and acknowledgement of his love – in the space of one hour! I can’t think of any other form of therapy that has results like this, can you?

So what’s the difference?

Energy!

We get to the energetic core of an issue and we give it attention in order to evolve it. We don’t have to spend hundreds of sessions (and corresponding dollars!) talking strategies of loving partners more and ‘things to try’ to get the spark back, we just aim straight at those feelings – that ENERGY. And when we evolve the INNER, the OUTER follows. When you love and adore a partner, things like special date nights happen without effort, it’s easy to reach out and hold hands more. When you have pure hatred for them, it is a battle, an uphill one, trying to make positive feelings out of negative ones without actually working with the energy you’ve got.  UGH! I know the approach I’d like to take!

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One response

  1. Pingback: Don’t be scared of acknowledging hate | Dog Rose Healing

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