Don’t be scared of acknowledging hate

It is so inspiring to see many motivational posters, quotes and images coming up in my Facebook news feed lately. People are writing and liking and sharing messages of positivity, letting go and manifesting the best version of ourselves and our lives. Awesome!

The downside of committing to being more positive and living in line with these messages is that there becomes a fear of giving attention to anything negative. We are becoming conditioned to focus ONLY on the positive, smile, be helpful, caring, selfless, stop and smell the roses, just being in this hectic world. Where does anything negative fit into that, if that negativity is what we’re troubled by? Can we just deny the negative stuff so it goes away? And does that work?

In comparison to affirmations, where we focus on positive statements only, the process of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) gives attention to the negative as well as the positive.

This can be hard for some people to take. I had a friend once complain about her son’s behaviour when she was clearly annoyed by it. I suggested she tap for “His voice is so grating!” (which is what she had said moments before) and she was horrified and refused.

“Wouldn’t giving attention to something bad make it worse? I’d rather just ignore it than give it attention!”

Surprisingly, no. It doesn’t make it worse. The reality is the opposite, in fact. When we use EFT in conjunction with a negative feeling, we give it room to evolve into something different so we can feel good again. I visualise the tapping action as an inspection along the meridian lines for anything relating to that negative feeling, calling it to the surface and allowing it the ability to process and shift!

I don’t believe that denying the feelings or trying to cover them up with positive ones does anything to the energy system unless we are engaging it with an energy therapy in conjunction.

Once you have tapped a round of EFT for something negative, the negative feeling reduces. But you do need to be prepared give it attention in order for that to happen. Facing it head on can be scary or intimidating, but it is a short term blip along the path of healing.

Aside from affirmations, there is running away, ignoring, trying to think yourself better, getting drunk or high.. those options don’t give the real problem attention, and so the problem remains.

Feeling good isn’t just about denying the bad.

Feeling good is letting the ‘bad’ surface for air so it can evaporate!

Don’t worry, good practitioners aren’t going to think badly of you if you tap with them for how much you hate your child (or husband, mother, family, life, brain, uterus, left breast etc). Because we know that the hate is a temporary energy blockage, not the truth of the situation or of yourself. We know that the hate needs to shift before you have room for love (here’s an example of this in action).

How do you love someone while hating them? How do you feel positive when you’re annoyed? Reading all the motivational posters in the world cannot change those feelings until you engage the energy body. This is why things like EFT work so well, we are working at the source of the feeling, not trying to change it with our brain or willpower.

If you’d like a session with me to shift your own hatred or negative stuff, email me to arrange. I am very happy to work via Skype!

Can’t make a decision?

How are you when it comes to making decisions? Is it a pleasurable and easy experience? Or something that you find difficult?

Decisions decisions..

We all have to make decisions in our lives, whether it is for things that impact us alone or for things that affect others. Sometimes the sheer weight of what it means to make a decision can put us off making any decision at all. Leaving us in limbo, or putting the responsibility onto someone else to do the deciding.

When we don’t make our own decisions, or we allow others to decide for us, we are no longer fully choosing our direction in life. We are allowing someone to live our lives for us (depending on the severity of the issue). We’re living in a passive way. I see it visually as a ping pong ball where other people hold the paddles and the passive person is pushed and guided in a haphazard way, compared to a bowling ball which is heading exactly where it intended from the beginning, no matter what those pins say! Which are you more like? Do you resent the bowling ball types? It’s interesting to give attention to.

Using energy techniques to help us decide

So let’s do something about it. It’s all energy, so we can shift what prevents us and let the decision making flow without any tension or ill-feeling. Let’s do something with decision making that will allow us to grab the reins and steer our life where our heart and soul knows it needs to go. Which is exactly what should drive us – our heart and our true selves. That part of us that knows what is best for us, irrespective of any ‘shoulds’ or rules or fears or worries. And it absolutely does exist, it just struggles to be heard at times over the “Yeah but”s.

I learned this interesting technique from Silvia Hartmann and have applied it to several things, both professionally and personally. It’s quite interesting to do and can reveal some things you had perhaps not recognised before.

Meet your emotions about the decision

First you have your decision that you are trying to make, or one that you have agonised over. Have that in mind as we begin this exercise.

What emotions present when you think about this? Give them a label, be aware of all of them as if they were persons that were there in your presence. “Oh look, here is fear, worry and anxiousness! Hi guys..”

One-by-one, address those emotions, as if by conversation. (I give you permission to talk to yourself!)

Fear makes itself very popular when it comes to decisions! I would guess that it would be the #1 reason behind not being able to decide. So we might say “Hi fear. What’s going on, why won’t you let me decide here?”

And fear might say “Because you’ll get it wrong, you’ll stuff it up. You’ll probably offend someone in the process and you’ll look like a real idiot. You might even ruin your life.” Let fear have a good chance to vent and explain their view. I find typing this is really helpful, but pen to paper is good too.

You: “Well that could be true. But what other choice do I have?”

Fear: “Just don’t decide. Someone else can do it. Someone else can screw up and look dumb!”

You: “But this is a decision for ME and one I need to make. I know my own feelings about this where others do not. I know what I need to do and I’m not afraid to make my choice, come what may.”

And maybe fear will have some rebuttal to that. Keep talking. Eventually fear and you will come to an agreement and maybe fear will no longer be there with you?

So now who is left? Repeat the same process with whichever other emotions appeared.

Trust that you know the right decision for you, regardless of the emotions in the way. ‘Talk’ to them to resolve any disagreements to be able to move forward with a clear head.

Use Emotional Freedom Technique if you are more comfortable

If you prefer to tap, use EFT and tap for those emotions that present and allow them to unfold. Perhaps “Fear” will evolve into something like “Don’t want to look bad”.

Please note: When I say ‘right’ decision, I don’t mean that “nothing bad will happen”. My feeling is that the process of deciding and potentially having challenges arise is an opportunity for adjustment, growth and refinement. And if it’s truly not working out for you, again YOU make the decision. We have freedom of a mind that we can change, so feel free to change your mind!

My decision

I decided to leave a job I had, even though it was well paid, I liked the people and they loved me and begged me to stay. It was difficult to make this decision with all of these positives, but I knew it was the best one for me. My heart wasn’t in it and my calling was elsewhere. With keeping the job I had very little time to devote to my true calling and I was feeling frustrated and irritated. We may have some financial teething issues or changes to make as a result, but this decision was right for me.

Making decisions doesn’t have to be difficult when you remember a few things:

  • This is MY life. I’m ready to live it as my own!
  • I know what is best for me, I know what I want out of life.
  • It is okay for me to make mistakes or be challenged. It’s how I learn.
  • It is safe for me to learn new things and open new doors.
  • I am willing to tweak and adjust along the way – my decisions don’t need to be perfect.
  • I am willing to accept all that this decision results in.

If any of those statements feel uncomfortable, tap for them!

Happy decision making!

Why care about emotions or energy anyway?!

I am kept awake in the wee hours of the morning being urged to write this by something within. So here I am, writing while my house is dark and silent and my husband sleeps beside me.

I have a lot of information on my business cards.

They tell you that I am certified in a number of things. That I am an energist. That I use flower essences, reiki, EFT, intuition, spiritual guidance. That I can help you. But what does it all mean and how can I help people, and why should they be helped in the first place?

I’m an expert of the energy body.

The spirit part of ‘mind, body and spirit’. The part that many forget they even have. It’s easy to forget because it’s not able to be seen with our eyes.

Just like the physical body, the energy body wants to be well. It wants to be balanced and wants flow. However it is much more subtle to tell if it is out of balance and needs assistance.

Fortunately, we have EMOTIONS  and feelings to guide us.

Take for example the word ‘Marriage’. If you say this word out loud or to yourself, does the energy of this word flow through your body pleasantly? Or does it begin its journey and get stuck somewhere? A lump in the throat, a twinge in the gut? Does saying it result in tension or pain in your body somewhere, a feeling of unease, an emotion such as fear or worry or anxiety? This latter situation is an indication of an energy disruption.

Visual representation of disrupted energy flow

Try the same thing with other words as an experiment. Try: ‘Sex’, ‘Food’, ‘Chocolate’, ‘Success’, ‘Love’, ‘Mother’, ‘Attractive’, ‘Money’, ‘Going on a plane’, ‘Spiders’, ‘Exercise’. Where does the energy go? Does it flow through or does it get stuck? Maybe some of those zipped through your energy happily (nice hey?), maybe others didn’t.

So why do we care?

Why do we care if we say a word and it feels awkward? Big deal, right! It’s just words, after all.

We care because not only is that feeling an indication of our stance towards that word on its own, but it is an indication of our beliefs and attitude towards that entire concept, and a clear indication that something is not quite right, energetically. It is then very likely that we could have issues with that part of our lives outwardly, and flow-on issues as a result. Therefore that feeling is VERY important.

Why the energy body?

Why don’t we just fix things with our physical worlds and be done with it? Or tell ourselves the truth of the situation and use our minds to think ourselves to be more positive?

If we want to solve a problem with ‘Exercise’ for example (say we feel dread when we think about exercising), we have three choices.

  1. Engage the physical body and make ourselves do it, one step after the other, even though we don’t want to.
  2. Engage the mental body and psych ourselves up to get out and exercise regularly, even though we don’t want to.
  3. Engage the energy body and evolve that feeling of dread into something more positive, so exercising is no longer dread-ful at all.

Options 1 and 2 aren’t going to be easy nor sustainable long term. They are going to require motivation, focus, and energy to maintain. However, option 3 addresses the root cause, has the entire person (mind, body and spirit!) in agreement and flow, and resolves the issue permanently. It makes it easy! And the energy body is quick to adjust when you work with a practitioner.

Gone are the days of pushing yourself through something that you hate when you can evolve how you feel!

My business cards could say so many things!

Via the energy body we can tackle anything and everything. Mental and emotional problems most definitely, such as stress or anxiety, but also physical problems which have emotional components. We can alter our beliefs, our relationships, concepts, our view of ourselves and others and the world around us. This means that our reality is able to be changed and improved! We are no longer limited by our past experiences or negative beliefs. We have the ability to change our lives for the better – and it’s easy!

When we are able to get in at the root of the issue, treating the energy body directly and improving how we feel about something without mental or physical effort, we just feel good!

Healthy energy flow!

Now how do I put all that onto a business card?

Who is in the driver’s seat of your life?

I was at the Body & Soul Expo on the weekend. It was great to experience my first expo and understand how it works, what happens with them, what kinds of questions people have. I have some further ideas and inspiration for myself and my business and how to share my services and information at future expos.

What was very curious to me was the amount of people who waited in line for psychic readings. I received very little interest in my EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) sessions. If you’ve followed my Facebook page or case stories in this blog, you will see that I have been a part of some very significant emotional transformations. This is significant stuff, life-changing, and very worthwhile. Not only for that moment of transformation and that specific issue, but as an ongoing skill and tool for LIFE. Once you learn EFT, your life is no longer the same! Emotional freedom indeed!

Unfortunately (for me!) it seems that every (wo)man and his dog just wants to have their future predicted and to make contact with those that have crossed over. No one wants to look at the here and now of their own emotions/energy. Of course I’m going to be biased here due to my own experiences and knowledge, and the fact that I have chosen to discontinue my own spiritual predictions and focus more on energy evolutions, but this doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Think about it:

One could ask to be told information about their future career.

OR

One could release any blocks of fear or doubt they have in going out and making their career of their dreams come true. One could set their intentions on their dream career and evolve anything within them that believes the possibility to be untrue.

One could ask to be told about their future lover(s).

OR

One could release any barriers or fears or energetic reversals relating to love, sex, relationships, marriage, sharing their space, sharing their wardrobe, sharing their life (and so on!). One could improve their confidence or anxiety with approaching prospective mates, improve their assertiveness with getting what they seek from a partner, gain confidence and strength enough to leave their abusive partner. The list is endless.

One could ask for contact with passed love ones.

OR

One could release any guilt, grief, disconnectedness from spirit, fear, and embrace the fact that they are in contact with them whenever they choose, allowing them to be open to signs or messages and love from beyond. One could consult with an energist (like me!) and be taught techniques such as Project Sanctuary which allows us to create spaces for interaction with energies of those that have passed. We are never alone, and can do these things with our own abilities. We are ALL blessed with an energy mind. We are driving the vehicle that is our lives!

This is me driving my life! (well, a car, but my life too) Look how satisfied I am!

My problem at this expo was this: HOW do I put on a quick and snappy A4 sign all of this potential and possibility within each and every one of us? How do I put it into words the power that resides in simple techniques and choices?

We get to choose what we want here and the only thing that is holding us back is ourselves, what we believe, what we understand to be true. Beliefs, understandings and feelings are ALL ENERGY AND ALL ABLE TO BE EVOLVED!!

AIM HIGHER! Don’t let anyone else tell you what YOU want in your life. Use your imagination, focus and energy, and create the life that you dream of! It doesn’t have to be complicated, mystical or out of reach for ‘normal’ people.

[My apologies for an odd blog post email that went out on Saturday night. It wasn’t meant to be published.]

Hi, I’m your complementary therapist!

Complementary therapist. I like that term.

As your complementary therapist, I…

  • won’t tell you to stop taking any medication you’re already taking.
  • won’t tell you not to see other practitioners.
  • won’t judge how you manage your own health and wellness.
  • won’t make promises that I can’t keep.
  • won’t waste your time.
  • won’t try and sell you things that you don’t need.
  • won’t use therapies or supplements which have side-effects or interaction with other medications.
  • will be honest about what I feel is contributing to an imbalance.
  • will help you to overcome emotional barriers.
  • will go at your pace of evolution.
  • will have you feeling calmer and more relaxed at the very least.
  • will give you what I have to give.

In short, I want you to reach a place of emotional wellness in the easiest way possible. Sound good?

10 Ways To Care For Your Spirit

So there seems to be a consensus that a healthy person is healthy of mind, body and spirit. Great! So how do we look after our spirit? We can eat healthy food and move our physical bodies, but what assists with the wellbeing of our spirit?

The answer is: Awareness

Awareness is the key and the answer and the solution all in one. Here are some easy ways to apply this, without necessarily going too ‘hippy trippy’.

  1. Have regular moments of focused awareness of the senses: Stop and sit, ask yourself what you can hear, smell, see, taste, sense, feel.
  2. In anger, frustration or other challenging emotions, take the time to pay attention to where you feel it in your body and what it feels like. Try to soften the feeling if you can, melt it and allow that feeling to move where it wants to go. This is based on Silvia Hartmann’s EmoTrance.
  3. Regularly stop and ask yourself “What do I need right now?”, and listen to the answer. Be aware of what you need and take heed. Eat if you are hungry, sleep if you are tired, ask for a hug or a hand if you need one, jump around like a loon if that’s what you need. If this seems unrealistic based on your situation, try it for a week or two and see what happens.
  4. It is important to find a safe space to allow what you feel. Things such as “putting a wall up around my heart so it doesn’t hurt”, “putting myself in a bubble of nothingness”, “drinking to numb the pain”, “getting high so I don’t have to care” are denying what the feelings are. The feelings being messages/clues to help. The denial doesn’t do anything long term to evolve the feeling. Find a trusted friend, or journal or both and release with tears and crying, raging, shouting. Using EFT and tapping just for “Calm” alone, works wonders, as well as further tapping on the issues themselves to evolve them. Make contact with an energist who is trained in handling tricky emotions in a safe way.
  5. Meditate. Sitting and breathing and just being is a way to enhance awareness and nurture your spirit. Sitting or laying and listening to relaxing music or nature sounds is an alternative.
  6. Stop and smell the flowers. Literally. Go outdoors and just find a spot and see what you notice. The stopping is hard, but well worth it! Being in nature reminds us of the bigger picture and the cycle of things as well as the beauty in the details that we often skip over. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…
  7. Write a gratitude list. Being aware of the things we have to be grateful for is a great tool to get us out of a loop of stress and worry and mundane. It gets us into recognising and appreciating things, whether they are small or big, such as “I’m grateful I am alive and breathing today!”.
  8. Increase the magic. Magic is synonymous with energy in how it enlivens and nourishes the spirit. Magic and fantasy take us from just existing to something special, where the potential for something great to happen is limitless. Use your imagination to create something incredible (what would you do, be, say if there were no rules, no laws of gravity or time?), use tools like Project Sanctuary to live in a magical world of your own, or immerse yourself in magical creations of others. A world that loves fantasy novels, science fiction, vampires, werewolves, zombies and Harry Potter is a world that craves energy.
  9. Use energy techniques like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Okay, I’m sure for some that this is considered ‘hippy trippy’, but you have an energy system, and we therefore need tools that caters for it and its disruptions as well as enhancing it as far as we want to go. EFT is one of those tools. It requires your awareness of your feelings or emotions or even sensations in your body that present with situations in order to work. If you can’t feel something, or don’t want to, it is going to be much harder to evolve it.
  10. Laugh. Find something that makes you laugh and do it often! Make someone else laugh! Take the task of having a fun and funny life very seriously! Laughter is an emotional release much like crying is, but is far more pleasurable and you might even get to have company alongside you enjoying the process. In the same sense, (good) sex does amazing things to the energy system. Enjoy and let go any tensions or fears in an act that feels good.

     

Facebook As Therapy

If you are an active member of Facebook or any other online community, you are exposed to lots of other peoples’ “stuff”. Some of those things might trigger what seems like an irrational response in you. You might get irritated, frustrated, confused, angry, offended, upset..

This triggering of feelings is actually a really easy way to be shown what to give attention to in terms of self-healing. They are just words (or pictures), or someone elses opinion. Why should they ruin your day? So they touched a nerve and got your attention and you’re feeling something you don’t want to – use it and let it go! And the cause of the trigger will be none the wiser!

So here’s how, in 8 easy steps:

0. Before doing anything else, do a round of Emotional Freedom Technique for the word “Calm”, saying the word out loud once on each tapping point shown in the video linked above. This separates the trigger from an energy stress response to a real annoyance. If you’re hardly bothered by the issue after this, it was most likely just energy stress and you can carry on with your day if you so choose, or continue below!

1. Notice when you think about or look at the trigger on Facebook, what are you feeling? Do you feel it somewhere in your body? A particular emotion? How strong is the feeling, from -10 to +10 (where -10 is strongly negative feeling and +10 is strongly positive and 0 is neutral)? Rate it.

2. Give it a label or a phrase (eg. “Joe Bloggs is giving me the shits“, “I feel a white hot rage for Jane Doe and her pathetic check-ins with our mutual friends!“, “I’m so annoyed with these thinly veiled homophobic posts“). Shorten it if you need to (eg. “annoyed!“).

3. Take that phrase and use it in a round of Emotional Freedom Technique while thinking about, or looking at the trigger. Awesome!

4. Look back at the trigger. How do you feel now? How would you rate it from -10 to +10? Has the original emotion changed at all? That’s what we’re aiming for, any evolution, even if it’s small. Maybe the rage has lessened, or the rage has changed to annoyance. It might be giving you a clue as to what the roots are to the trigger. Put what the feeling is now into words.

5. Take those words and use them in another round of Emotional Freedom Technique.

6. Look at the thing that triggered you again. What is the rating now? What is the feeling? If you’re feeling more apathetic than insulted, go for a positive statement along the lines of what the trigger (eg. “Peace”, “It’s okay for us to disagree”, “I’m happy to be me”, “We are all on our own journey”, “I believe in myself”). If you are still feeling quite negative, return to step 4 to do at least another round of tapping.

7. Take the positive words/phrase that you’ve decided on and use them in another round of Emotional Freedom Technique.

8. How do you feel when you look or think about the trigger? Does the energy or feeling of that post just flow right through you? No noticeable tension or stuckness? How’s the rating? Up the + end of the scale? At least the inverse of where you began? That’s what we’re aiming for. Congratulations for getting here!  Feels good, doesn’t it!

Call your problem into the room with you to evolve it

Using energetic entities are a fantastic method of tackling a problem which seems too big, or has a life of its own, especially with relationships. And given that between a person and their beliefs, lovers, friends, foods, concepts, belongings, goals, money, etc is always an energetic relationship – we have a very powerful tool on our hands!

Using EFT in conjunction tackles the problem to the ground… or rather, draws them into our spirit and makes peace with them, resolving the issue.

It might sound a little ‘out there’, but it’s super easy, will you do it with me?

Step-by-step to using an entity for self-healing:

  1. Consider a problem you currently have. Hopefully you can think of something. Whether it’s an interpersonal tension or just something you’re struggling with. Got it in mind?
  2. Now ask yourself: If that problem was in your space, where would it be? Point to it. Maybe it’s a few metres away. Maybe it’s quite close. That’s your entity and that’s what we’re working with.
  3. What does that entity look like. How does it make you feel? I had a woman who had communication difficulties in her marriage describe her husband entity as a green alien-like creature. I had another woman describe her inability to orgasm as a ball of light trapped in an iron cage. I’ve seen difficult relationships as spiky balls, grey mists, pink mists. Maybe they look like a person, maybe energy, maybe an object. There’s no right or wrong. Just go with what presents for you.

    An example of an entity (from Dr. Silvia Hartmann)

  4. So then we use EFT to evolve that feeling and that entity, we want to improve the issue and improve our energy flow about this entity and problem. Tap along with my silent video now (it takes 3 minutes! I hope you have 3 spare minutes to help yourself feel good) and on each point say a phrase or word relevant to your entity. eg. “Trapped in a cage”, “Alien that creeps me out”, “Cold spiky ball”.
  5. Now that you’ve tapped (I hope you did!), look at the entity again. Is it closer to you? Has it changed? What does it look like? How do you feel about it?
  6. Tap another round about it. Tap along with my video again, using what presents to you now. Maybe the spiky ball has softened. Maybe the alien is more human-like and is being affectionate. Maybe the cage has unlocked or the bars have melted. Maybe the changes are making you feel scared, anxious, nervous. Tap for these things. eg. “Scared and excited”, “Softer spiky ball”.
  7. Consider the entity again. It might be closer and it might be more welcome. How do you feel about it? Tap along with my video again for how you’re feeling now. The entity might be seeming lighter, nicer, more loveable. Go with that.
  8. You may need to do additional rounds of tapping based on the issue, but ultimately the entity comes closer and closer until it is absorbed into your energy. I have done this many many times myself and with other people and each one ended in this way. I see it as a reconnection of what was a displaced part of the energy system before. And it is a positive and beautiful feeling!
  9. How did you go? Comment below and share with me your experiences! Did you evolve your relationship with something? How do you feel now?

Five Prerequisites to Overcoming a Problem

Five Prerequisites to overcoming a problem

These are five typical things I’ve noticed that can come into play when people choose not to resolve their emotional and energetic issues. This establishes these things as important pre-requisites for feeling better.

1. Be sick of it. Be over it. Recognise it as a problem. Be tired of how it affects your life. Dislike it and be at a point where you are ready to do something about it. Example: “I’m sick of never going on holidays because of this fear of flying. I want to see the world and visit family and friends and I can’t. I’m tired of putting my dreams on hold due to fears.” vs. “I’m so scared of flying! But it’s fine, we’re going on a cruise for our honeymoon instead”.

2. Emotional awareness. You’re aware of how you feel and can recognise your emotions, good and bad. If you’re not feeling it, denying it or denying your feelings, then it’ll be harder to give attention to. Example: “If I could just not think about it, it would go away. I put everything in a little box in my heart where it can’t hurt me.” vs. “Every time I think about that moment when he told me he loved someone else, it feels like a knife digging into my heart. I was so hurt, and I still am.”

3. The pay-off is no better than the problem. The benefits that come from you having the problem (even if they are just self-perceived ones) are less worthy to you than not having the problem is. You’re ready to overcome your problem, regardless of what pluses it seems to give you.  Example: “I don’t want to smoke anymore. It’s always helped me relax, but I don’t want to die like my aunt” vs.  “One part of me thinks I should stop being so anxious about my son getting hurt or being taken from me, but the other part wonders how badly things would go if I stopped. And aren’t I supposed to worry, since I’m his mum? If I don’t worry, am I a good mum? I’ll be fine.”

4. Recognising the problem is something that can be improved upon. Understand that things like beliefs, fears, anxieties, phobias, addictions, worries, stresses, relationships (and more!) are all comprised of energy. Even some forms of pain or physical illness can be directly linked to energy, and therefore be (at the very least) evolved and therefore improved with energy therapies. Emotions are outward symptoms of energy shifts within us. Example: “I’m just a worrier by nature. It’s just who I am.” vs. “I thought it was normal to dislike my body with such hatred. But my friends say how much they love their bodies. Maybe it’s something I can do something about..”

5. Finding a fixer. Knowing tools or people who can help you overcome an issue. An energetic issue needs an energetic specialist. Example: Doing EFT at home, or finding an EFT or other energy therapy practitioner, contact someone like me. vs. doing nothing, and the issue remaining as it is.