EFT Case Story – Accepting Her Mother-In-Law

A client expressed that she had had a very frustrating phone call with her Mother-in-law a few days prior and had carried some frustration and resentment with her since then. There were also ongoing issues relating to her Mother-in-law and Father-in-law coming from interstate and only staying with them when it was convenient to them (instead of when requested), the “kill two birds with one stone” approach, never putting themselves out for their son and his family.

I explained that relationships are created by the energy we feel between us and another person or thing, and that if we evolve the feeling, we evolve the relationship.

We initially tapped for “Calm” to de-stress.

The strength of feeling about her Mother-in-law began at -8 on the SUE scale, from -10 to +10 where 0 is neutral. It was a sense of resentment that she was feeling, recalling the phone call she’d had. She tapped for “Resentment”.

This feeling lost its severity and what remained felt at -6 strength and was more of a frustration. She tapped for “Frustration” and then “Annoyance.

At this point what presented was a “What the..?” feeling. A sense of confusion as to why her Mother-in-law does what she does, feeling far less negative now at -2. She tapped for “Confusion” and felt very neutral about her Mother-in-law. “Meh” is a good way to describe it.

From here I asked my client to think about how she wants her relationship to go with her Mother-in-law and what she could tap for. She was happy to accept and welcome her into her home, but wasn’t sure that she felt more beyond that, nor that she could at this point.

She tapped for “Welcoming” which naturally evolved into “Acceptance” during the round of tapping. Going to +6 after a second round of “Acceptance”.

She was happy to end at +7 while tapping for “Happy to see you”.

This is a significant difference from feeling resentment to begin with and a very positive evolution of her feelings toward, and relationship, with her Mother-in-law!

 

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You are beautiful!

What is beauty? What makes someone beautiful? What makes someone not beautiful?

I was considering how to approach the topic of beauty from an energy perspective and it becomes quite complicated.

Would we devote time to each physical element of our appearance that has us feeling ugly or unattractive? Instead of focusing on the physical, piece by piece, what about embracing the concept that this person is a thing of beauty, regardless of what physical attributes they have. Because this really is the truth of the situation, even though it may be hard to accept. We’ve had years of programming which denies this. Decades, even! Entire industries are based on denial of this!

Just like other limiting beliefs that might exist (“If I am in a car, I will get hurt”, “If I don’t control a situation, something bad will happen”), the belief that “I am not beautiful” can be evolved at the very least.

In terms of energy, what does it feel like if you were to say to yourself in the mirror: “I am beautiful”. What’s there? Is it a feeling of discomfort, of guilt, of shyness, of rejection or denial? Maybe you’re adding conditions. Whatever presents is what matters and what needs attention.

Try tapping yourself in the process: Tap the top of your head while looking at yourself in the mirror, saying “I’m beautiful”. Continue through all of the points (middle of forehead, inner corner of one brow, side of eye, under eye, under nose, under mouth, collarbone, each finger at side of nailbed, karate chop point), tapping for “I’m beautiful”.

What are the “buts” that come up? (“I’m beautiful but….”) Any thoughts, conversations, events, images, that spring to mind? Maybe some things have happened in your lifetime that told you what beauty was, and what it wasn’t, and also cemented your own view of yourself within those rules. Tap for all of these things.. “I’m not beautiful without make-up”, “I can’t be beautiful if I weigh more than X kilos/pounds”. “I’m not beautiful because Johnny Smith told me I wasn’t when I was in school”. You get the idea.

When it’s just you and the mirror – if the only definition of beauty that counts is our own, that means that we are in the driver’s seat of whether we acknowledge that we are beautiful or not. We get to make the rules. So is the ability to find ourselves beautiful simply an ACCEPTANCE of ourselves and all that encompasses what we are? And if that acceptance and beauty can begin to exist when we’re on our own, then why not when we aren’t on our own? We are still the same person.
The traits that I personally saw in the mirror, they are representations of my beauty as a whole person. As a person who lives and works and experiences and makes decisions for herself. If I believe that I am in the right place, at the right time, following the right path, I can begin to accept that I look how I am meant to and how I look is perfect for me, the body I have, and the life I am leading. And if I’m not making the right decisions, not on the right path, not doing the right things for me, then how about I start TODAY and change what I need to, from here on in. Maybe I need clearer boundaries so I can devote some time and energy on myself. Maybe I can try and get more sleep. I am still beautiful regardless, but there is no harm seeing my physical self as a message either. I can try and make changes to know that I’m doing my best for myself and that IS enough.
If you are tapping for this yourself at home, try using EFT and tapping for these affirmations:
  • My body is a perfect expression of my beautiful self.
  • I accept all that I am, completely.
  • I accept my beauty, without condition.

Do multiple rounds on these if needed, really let them resonate and focus on your breathing, don’t rush it. You’re worth it.

There are so many ways to approach beauty when it comes to energy and emotions, but beginning and evolving and thinking about it is surely a positive step forward.

This Little Boy

For Lucy

~~~~

I am walking down a long path in what seems to be a park or a garden. Above me and on both sides of me are beautiful cherry blossom trees. Their dark branches reaching up and their pink flowers sitting delicately on their branches. It is a sunny afternoon and as I am walking I feel the warmth of the sun filter through the trees and onto my skin.

I look down to my right and holding my hand is a little boy. He is walking with me too. He looks up to me, squinting a little in the sun, and smiles. This is my son. He is here with me and enjoying this moment, this walk, this day. He has a little skip in his step and I’m not sure if it’s because he is happy and excited or he just wants to keep up with my grown-up steps. I love him and his little squint and his little skip and his little fingers and his little nose. I love him so much that my heart hurts trying to carry all the love in there that wants to overflow for him and keep him holding my hand forever.

Ahead I see a little brown bird at the base of one of the trees at the side of the path. The little boy sees it too. He stops in his tracks and points towards the bird, a big grin on his face and sparkling eyes. The bird is moving around in hops which makes the boy chuckle. The bird keeps hop, hop hopping and the chuckle becomes a squeal and then a belly laugh. My heart sings in seeing the joy in a plain old common brown bird’s movements simply because of this little boy.

The bird flies away with a chirp that has a sharp sound that remains and then fades after it is out of sight. And then it is silent.

I look to the boy and he is looking up at me. His lower lip protrudes slightly and his eyes moisten. He sniffs a few times and begins to cry.

I crouch down to his level and he wraps his arms around my neck and buries his head under my chin. His source of pure joy is gone in an instant, in all of the enjoying, and he is sad and he is feeling it. Unabashedly.

I sit down more comfortably, leaning my back against one of the cherry blossoms. His crying has quietened down but he is happy to stay in a big cuddle. And so am I. So there we sit.

We sit while dog walkers and cyclists go by. We sit while stirrings of impatience, schedules and ‘should’s bubble up from within me and then evaporate from my skin. We are happy here, calm here, resting here, relaxing here. We need nothing else and no one else right now.

The cherry blossoms are watching over us and we are safe, happy and content. I breathe deeply and contentedly. A single cherry blossom flower floats down from above and lands on the little boy’s hair. I notice that he has fallen asleep in my arms. I love this little boy.

The Rain Storm of a Toddler

Yes I’m here again writing about yet another storm habitat relating to my 2.5 year old son. What a freaky coincidence… 😉

The habitat is a very strong wind and heavy rain pelting down on the aspect. It is not hot or cold, but the storm is preventing the aspect from getting anywhere. She can’t see where she’s going or what she’s doing. She is completely stuck, trapped by the severity of the storm, and can’t get anywhere. I use EFT to rescue our aspect and tap for “can’t get anywhere”.

The storm has died down and she can see ahead and there is a shed at the end of a jetty. She runs ahead, along the jetty and gets up to the shed. She’s a bit frantic and looking for shelter. She gets to the shed and it’s locked. She is devastated and cries in disappointment. She stayed there for awhile, not sure what to do as she was tired from running and fighting the storm. I tapped for “Don’t know what to do”.

The sun shone through the clouds at this point and the storm had passed! What remained was a gentle sunshower. The aspect was thrilled and when she turned around ready to walk back up the jetty, she saw that behind her, where she had begun, was in fact a beautiful scene of tall trees, flowering bushes, vines with raindrops on them making them look like sparkling gems. The aspect is smiling and feels great.

There are so many elements here – which is the beauty of these habitats. Even retyping this now I am seeing new things. New messages. New lessons. What’s your take?