EFT – The gift that keeps on giving!

I am always thrilled and excited when I hear back from people who I have taught EFT to and have them describe new ways in which they have used it. EFT is really very easy to do, takes 3 minutes to do one round, and is applicable to anything and everything.

So here are some ways in which my lovely EFT-ers have gone on to use EFT on their own:

  • One of the ladies had a negative association with tapping regularly for her issues at home, relating to it being an OCD-esque kind of nervous habit. She was able to tap through that (beginning with “calm”, moving onto the negative beliefs about the OCD association, then onto “This really works and I’m feeling good” and “I am positive inspired energy”) and feel only positive associations with it.

     

  • Another lady (I don’t get a lot of male clients at this stage!) let me know about a challenging situation she’d faced after sending a message to her boss about a co-worker. She sent the message and immediately felt anxious, as if she’d be seen as a trouble maker and stirring the pot. She tapped to calm as well as relating to the “stirring the pot” feeling and felt great and at peace at taking action.

     

  • And lastly there is another lady who is in the process of quitting smoking who is using EFT to help her along the way.

     

I love that the act of learning how to do EFT unlocks a world of feeling good in so many ways. They may still ask me for feedback in relation to what they are tapping for if they get stuck, but going it on their own and evolving their own issues on the spot would be very empowering and satisfying!

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Five Prerequisites to Overcoming a Problem

Five Prerequisites to overcoming a problem

These are five typical things I’ve noticed that can come into play when people choose not to resolve their emotional and energetic issues. This establishes these things as important pre-requisites for feeling better.

1. Be sick of it. Be over it. Recognise it as a problem. Be tired of how it affects your life. Dislike it and be at a point where you are ready to do something about it. Example: “I’m sick of never going on holidays because of this fear of flying. I want to see the world and visit family and friends and I can’t. I’m tired of putting my dreams on hold due to fears.” vs. “I’m so scared of flying! But it’s fine, we’re going on a cruise for our honeymoon instead”.

2. Emotional awareness. You’re aware of how you feel and can recognise your emotions, good and bad. If you’re not feeling it, denying it or denying your feelings, then it’ll be harder to give attention to. Example: “If I could just not think about it, it would go away. I put everything in a little box in my heart where it can’t hurt me.” vs. “Every time I think about that moment when he told me he loved someone else, it feels like a knife digging into my heart. I was so hurt, and I still am.”

3. The pay-off is no better than the problem. The benefits that come from you having the problem (even if they are just self-perceived ones) are less worthy to you than not having the problem is. You’re ready to overcome your problem, regardless of what pluses it seems to give you.  Example: “I don’t want to smoke anymore. It’s always helped me relax, but I don’t want to die like my aunt” vs.  “One part of me thinks I should stop being so anxious about my son getting hurt or being taken from me, but the other part wonders how badly things would go if I stopped. And aren’t I supposed to worry, since I’m his mum? If I don’t worry, am I a good mum? I’ll be fine.”

4. Recognising the problem is something that can be improved upon. Understand that things like beliefs, fears, anxieties, phobias, addictions, worries, stresses, relationships (and more!) are all comprised of energy. Even some forms of pain or physical illness can be directly linked to energy, and therefore be (at the very least) evolved and therefore improved with energy therapies. Emotions are outward symptoms of energy shifts within us. Example: “I’m just a worrier by nature. It’s just who I am.” vs. “I thought it was normal to dislike my body with such hatred. But my friends say how much they love their bodies. Maybe it’s something I can do something about..”

5. Finding a fixer. Knowing tools or people who can help you overcome an issue. An energetic issue needs an energetic specialist. Example: Doing EFT at home, or finding an EFT or other energy therapy practitioner, contact someone like me. vs. doing nothing, and the issue remaining as it is.

 

EFT Case Story – Anxiety About Getting To The Toilet On Time

My client came to me with a problem that she had had for almost 20 years, which had taken over her life in many ways. Yet similarly she felt that this was a silly problem and she was frustrated at herself for having it.

In 1995 she had a change of diet which she found had upset her stomach badly. She was in her car, part of the way through a 1.5 hour journey, and recognised that she needed to get herself to a toilet very quickly, but could not due to being stuck in traffic. She felt anxious, was feeling “I can’t get out of this”, found her breath shallow and her legs trembling. She felt trapped and didn’t know what to do. She was able to turn back and make a change of journey and got to a toilet on time and experienced diarrhea.

Since this time, whenever she was faced with a situation of similar circumstances, she has suffered similar anxiousness. Expecting that she will have an accident, soil herself and wherever she is unless there is a toilet in close and reliable proximity. It has prevented her from being able to take spontaneous trips without being aware of toilet stops along the route. It affected a family holiday whereby she needed to stop along the way to the airport, and subsequently the family had missed their flight, costing money and causing her embarrassment and upset.

She would feel physical stomach upset in conjunction with the anxiousness and was tested for coeliacs disease before being referred to a psychologist. The psychologist assisted with self-talk and improving things in this way, but my client felt that she was having to be sure to plan ahead to avoid issues, that she was at many times not able to talk herself out of worrying about not making it to a toilet on time. She would only feel comfortable when there were clear ‘escape routes’. In times where there was no options she still found herself panicked and this panic was disrupting her life.

She was distressed by her issue and was very emotional when speaking about it. She received a lot of hugs and supportive words over the process of our session, as well as Emergency Essence drops. We began by tapping for “Calm” to de-stress.

She rated her strength of feeling about her issue as -9 on the SUE scale (where -10 is strong negative emotion and +10 is strong positive emotion, and 0 is neutral). We tapped for “Trapped“, which was the emotion which presented the most strongly. During this round she had tears streaming down her cheeks and was quite overcome with emotion.

While tapping for something of strong emotion, it may show more strongly while focusing on it and allowing it attention. She was crying and asked me about how she could continue this at home, and said she felt that she needed to go. I told her that I wanted to tap with her for “Calm” to de-stress her energy system again if she was going to leave. I also recognised an emotional release in the crying, which although it can be hard to go through, is a very important thing with regards to evolving a problem.

At this point she said that she did feel better and was willing to do further tapping. She ranked her issue as -8, noticing that she did feel slightly better.

We then tapped for “Stuck“. She felt that it was less severe, and she noticed she was less teary during that round.

She felt that the strength of feeling about the issue was now -6. That she noticed that she no longer felt trapped anymore. The current feeling that she had now was a sense of silliness. She felt silly about having the problem, she also felt that the focus for her now was on how she would have to look silly if she had to stop doing something to find a toilet, or ask for details and plans about a trip or outing that other people didn’t seem to need.

We tapped for “Feeling silly“. She noticed that she struggled to retain this feeling as she went. After a few points on the face, the concern about feeling silly was already lessened and gone. Not an issue anymore. She ranked the strength of feeling about the issue as -3.

What remained about the feeling was a mild discomfort relating to affecting others with her problems. She was wanting to be in the situations again, and have the plans and outings again to see how she would feel.

We decided to think about the things that she wanted, instead of having the problem. She talked about wanting to be more spontaneous, going with the flow and doing things on the spur of the moment. She wanted to feel that it was easy to be spontaneous. We tapped for “Easy” and then “Freedom

She cried hard after the round for “Easy” and afterwards I asked what she felt the crying related to and she described it as a feeling of relief of her problem no longer controlling her. She was reminded of situations in her life that she now saw as being affected by her issue, where she hadn’t been aware at the time of how they had been impacted. She was also reminded of situations where she felt relaxed and enjoying herself, times when her issue wasn’t affecting her, times that she is likely to experience more of in the future.

We ended the session with her feeling at +1 about her issue. She was given ‘homework’ to tap for additional positives relating to her freedom and being able to do and go where she pleased without worrying.

I am so very grateful to be able to assist someone in evolving such long term issues affecting them so significantly, on a daily basis!

EFT Case Story – Anxiety about partner’s health

A client shared that she had been struggling with anxiety. She had been seeing a psychologist in the past but things had persisted. She wasn’t sure if the anxiety she was feeling was related to her personality (she considers herself a ‘worrier’) or something more that needed attention.

We began by tapping for “Calm” to de-stress before expanding more on the anxious feelings that were occurring.

She found that she was becoming more anxious in situations she wouldn’t normally be, such as considering canceling trips that involved airplane travel. She also felt untrusting about other drivers on the road when driving with her son. In terms of anxiousness, she was most concerned about her husband’s health conditions and his future.

She described that she had a sense of doom about her husband’s future. Feeling that there was not much hope for him, no cure, no successful treatment, and knowing what was likely to eventuate. She also felt a corresponding pain and tightness in the chest and neck, describing that she often felt her emotions physically in her body.

She rated the strength of feeling as -7 on the SUE scale (where -10 is very strong negative feelings and +10 is very strong positive feelings and 0 is neutral), frequently worsening at night, to -10.

We tapped for “Doom“, which was understandably emotional for my client during the tapping, and a very heavy feeling to process. I let my client know that we could stop and de-stress at any time.

The strength of feeling evolved from -7 to -4. My client felt that she was at a point where she recognised that fighting wasn’t going to change things. She could acknowledge that her husband wouldn’t be around as much as she wanted him to be for her and their son. We decided to tap for “Peaceful resignation“, which was also emotional.

After this round she felt a significant looseness and relaxing in her neck. Less tension, less weight. She described it as though the tension had been “vacuumed out”! She felt far better physically, but emotionally she described that she felt conflicted: That there was a part of her that was ready to no longer be worried or anxious, yet there was another part of her that felt that she was a bad person if she wasn’t worried for her husband.

At this point my client said that this was “Amazing”: We had come to this point of realisation about an inner conflict that had not surfaced in the sessions she had with her psychologist.

We discussed the conflict that she was feeling before deciding to tap for “I’m a bad person if I’m not worried“. However there was no evolution on the SUE scale with this round. She remained at -2. She said that she felt the conflict throughout the round of tapping – one part of her agreeing, the other part not.

I decided for us to tap directly for The Aspect in question: That part of her that felt that she could only be caring if she was worrying. We tapped for “The aspect that believes she needs to worry“.

At this time my client said that she is no longer feeling the need to worry, and is feeling quite neutral. She is also feeling completely relaxed in her neck and chest.

From here I suggested we tap for a positive feeling that she would like to feel about the situation. She immediately said “I can love and care for my husband without worrying“. She began talking about moments with her husband where there was nothing but joy, and she lit up and her energy brightened.

My client was happy to end the session at this point, feeling great and at +7.

The other issues which had also been a source of anxiety had also evolved in the process, and she described them as feeling neutral now. I gave her the instructions for her to use on her own to tap for positive phrases or affirmations on the other issues also.

EFT Case Story – Panic Attacks and Anxiety

Tonight I had the pleasure of conducting an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) session over Skype with a new client. In just over one hour, she was able to learn how to do EFT and together we resolved two specific issues for her. Here are the details:

My client described that she had been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. She had been experiencing them for awhile but they had become more frequent for her. She was working to expand her business in beauty and massage therapy, and had noticed that before a new client came (and sometimes during a treatment) that she would experience: shakes, her heart rate would go up, she’d breathe shallowly and have to consciously try to calm herself down.

She described a feeling of intimidation, that she was wanting to be at a certain level with her business and therapies and feeling that she may not be there. She is wanting to impress new clients in particular, to improve her business and have return clients, and putting pressure on herself to do things right so they would come back. She understood that there was somewhat of a struggle within her as she knows that a person’s thoughts on a business as well as their decisions to return or not are something out of her hands, yet the panic attacks still happen.

I began by teaching her the Heart & Soul protocol (belonging to Energy EFT, by Silvia Hartmann) and using the phrase “Calm” to de-stress.

Thinking about her issue, she rated it as -10 on the SUE scale (where -10 is strong negative feeling and +10 is strong positive feeling and 0 is neutral). It is a severe issue for her.

We then tapped together for “Intimidated“. My client said she felt the anxiety sensation while we were tapping. She felt it rising and then it dissipated. She felt it through her heart and chest before it shifted. She said through this round she was thinking about an upcoming event with four new clients and how this might be, that it was a source of anxiety for her before but now she felt good about it.

She rated her issue now as +1 or +2 and was a little surprised by how she no longer felt concerned about these things when she thought about them. How quick it had worked.

With my client now at a neutral point on the scale, I let her know that we now could focus on tapping for the positives. She said she felt now that good things can come. She pictured herself doing her massages in a future event where there would be a lot of people and a lot of potential for new business. From this visualisation she said she would like more confidence and to tap for that.

We decided to tap for “Brave“. I was feeling great through this round (a feeling of not being able to not stop smiling, and wanting to laugh) and my client described that when she got to the hand that she felt overwhelmingly happy, really comfortable. She said “This is insane!” – very surprised and amused at how quickly and how well EFT can work.

She felt +8 at this point and we decided that we could do another round and push for +10.

She considered events where she was speaking in front of others and how this would be something that would also contribute to feeling panicked and having a rapid heart rate. When she visualises herself there now it is a sense of being ill-prepared and she feels that more confidence would help the situation.

We tap for “Confidence“. During this round the feeling in her body, that she would get at the public speaking events, presented itself before subsiding. My client said “I feel confident!”.

It had been pretty quick up to this point so I suggested that my client consider any other situations relating to public speaking and what they feel like, to see if there was anything else needing attention. It was seeming as though public speaking anxiety may be something slightly different to the panic attacks when dealing with new clients, but that there may be some crossover.

She was able to recall a situation and even while talking about it she described a feeling in her stomach as “yuck” and “whirry”, like a drop in the stomach when on a rollercoaster or similar. When she is taken to that specific scenario and is describing it, she says it feels like -10. She describes how she’d always been the type to shy away from the limelight and now she was challenging herself in ways which put her more in the spotlight and that the anxiety was building as she was doing this.

We tapped for “Being in the limelight“. We both noticed a very different energy in this round compared to the last. The energy felt very dense and heavy and slow, where the previous round’s energy felt light and floaty. When I asked her how she felt after this round she said “So different! It’s like ‘What was I worried about?'”. She described the feeling now as being -1.

She said that the feeling in the stomach was no longer there, it was more in the ribs. And the issue was less about her being the focal point and more about her opinions and their importance. Being able to express opinions without worrying about them. She recognised that her truth was important but it was hard to express.

We tapped for “Speaking my truth, no worrying“.  Tapping for this round was a gradual build up of light energy again, a sense of not being able to stop smiling, a sense of being proud of who we are – feeling proud and confident. Overwhelming bliss. My client rated this feeling as +10.

As we disconnected she said that she was feeling good, calm and excited about what the future holds for her. 🙂

“How Come I Can’t Shake This?”

.. Was what someone asked me last night. And I got to thinking that what life might be like for that person if they no longer had their emotional issue.. inspiring this post.

If you have a chronic emotional problem, and you can clearly recognise it as an issue but struggling to move forward, you may be held back from resolving it because of a ‘pay-off’: there is *something* to do with this problem that you are getting something positive from. Even if that something is only a perceived something.

EFT is very simple and straightforward, yet often times when people are asking for help and I show them how to do EFT, there is an excuse or a reason why now is not a good time, that it will be done later. And it’s not done. Or they stop after one round and feel better in the moment but don’t follow through to resolution of their issue. Even if their belief in EFT is solid and they truly want to do it. Some even want to feel better BEFORE they use it!

What kinds of things are pay-offs then?

Some examples of pay-offs in action:

In a situation where someone is highly anxious about something bad happening to their child, letting go of the anxiousness may mean (to them) that they are welcoming that something bad. They are no longer protecting their child. Why would they choose that? So they are stuck feeling anxious. They NEED to be anxious, even if it’s causing a number of issues in their life

In a situation where someone is suffering from chronic tiredness and flatness of mood, no longer being this way may mean they will no longer be looked after, and may have more responsibility. Less allowances and leeway. If the person is lacking love and self-love, they would struggle to say goodbye to that nurturing and caring, even if it makes them unable to function completely. And yes, emotions are powerful enough to lead to physical symptoms such as tiredness. Feeling unloved in itself may be enough to cause a flatness.

If someone has had an emotional issue for most of their life, no longer having it may mean to them that they would be agreeing to their life being completely different and changed forever. Change can be scary, and the known can seem safest, even if it’s known suffering.

A person with a fear of abandonment knows they are worrying excessively when their family members go out to the shops, but the potential of losing them forever keeps them from being able to just “let go”. They believe they need to keep the fear and worry to keep their family safe.

An emotional eater knows their habits aren’t doing them any good physically, but the way the food and the eating makes them feel in the heat of the moment makes it very difficult to ‘just stop’. Stopping may mean facing a pain or a hurt and looking something square in the face. Facing things may open an emotional can of worms that the sufferer may feel is worse than the eating.

These pay-offs are very real (and therefore powerful) even if they may not make logic sense on the surface. The sufferer may also begin to see the way the pay-offs are keeping them stuck, yet not know how to get beyond it, so they have their problem as well as frustration with themselves. A true inner argument!

How can we move forward if we have a pay-off situation happening?

The sufferer may have very good support, such as psychologists, trusted general practitioners and loving friends. But until they resolve the issue within themselves, they will remain stuck due to the pay-off.

There is a part within them, an aspect of them, if you will, that doesn’t want to get better. And THAT is who we need to talk to. We need to consider that aspect as a separate person to the one who is suffering and wanting to get better and what they need. We can do that using EFT and tapping for specific aspects.

Example tapping phrases: “The aspect that believes change is bad”, “The aspect that believes they have to control things for them to be okay”, “The aspect that is scared to feel her feelings”, “The aspect that believes she is unworthy of love”. While tapping, these things may unfold into reminders of specific situations in their lives. Such as a time when there was a big change and it really DID mean something bad happened. That may have been the case once, but doesn’t mean it needs to repeat forever, remaining solid as a belief. It was an event which had an impact on their energy body – and energy can be evolved!

Feel free to tap along with me here to any of the tapping phrases above, or contact me to help you through, working specifically on your issue. EFT

EFT Case Story – Anxiety after a car accident

This is one of my favourite Emotional Freedom Technique case stories so far. I feel blessed and to have helped this client to let go of an issue that she was plagued with for over a decade – in just seven rounds of tapping. And we never even met! We conducted our sessions via email communications.

My client described anxiety that she experienced when she was a passenger in a car, ever since she was involved in a car accident. She had previously seen a psychologist to assist, but the issue remained. She felt ready to get to the bottom of her issue and decided to try Emotional Freedom Technique with me.

I firstly asked for her to describe the accident and her feelings as a passenger now. She described not just one, but five car accidents since 1995. She felt that the bulk of the issues she experienced now stemmed from the first accident: A head-on collision at low speed with her mother as the other driver. She said: “It is hard to get pissed off with the other driver about what they’ve done to you when it is your own mum.”

As a passenger she is instantly tense in the car. She said she tries to do deep breathing, and tries not to think about the fact that she is a passenger. She closes her eyes so she can’t see what’s going on around her, but it tends to make her even more anxious. She says she is constantly telling her husband to slow down and watch out and says it is “driving him insane”. She feels sick with worry. Just wants to get to wherever she’s going, as quickly as they can, so she can get out of the car. She said “The last time I was in the car, I got so tense that I was in so much pain in my lower back from tensing up so much.”

She rates it on the SUE scale as -10. “It is by far the worst it has ever been. I think we can safely say I’ve hit rock bottom for this problem”.

I began by explaining the concept of EFT and describing the Heart & Soul protocol for her to use throughout the treatment for this issue. I suggested she tap on “Calm” as I taught her the protocol and simultaneously de-stressed the energy system.

From there I asked her to consider the initial accident and we were able to break it down to the moment of collision and the associated feelings and thoughts. The feeling that stood out for me was “I felt sick”, so we tapped on this. There was also anger towards her mother and I suggested tapping for that anger.

When reconsidering how she feels about being a passenger in a car now, she said that she still felt at -10 on the SUE scale. There had been no change.

I suggested that we could use the Aspect Model, in case the situation was too emotionally confronting, which has the client considering the girl in the car accident as a separate version of herself. I suggested considering this girl and what she was going through.

She tapped for:

“The aspect was angry”  (still at -10 after this)

“The aspect felt helpless” (still at -10 after this)

I wondered about the uniqueness of the situation and how it meant that she couldn’t get angry and couldn’t get upset, really couldn’t express any feelings about the car accident at all, lest she create more guilt in an already guilty mother. Since her mum may have been her usual emotional support, she would doubly be unable to express how she felt – she was therefore stuck to deal with this issue on her own.

So I suggested that she tap for:

“The aspect that feels she can’t express her feelings”

(suddenly she is now at -2 on the SUE scale!)

While tapping for this, the client described a very strong emotional release. While tapping she ‘saw’ two versions of her mum: the one that hit her (“faceless and emotionless”) and “my mum who was there for me. She wasn’t the driver of the car, just my mum”. She said she was bawling her eyes out after this round, which I felt was a VERY important and positive step forward.

The following day she was a passenger in the car and reported back to me that she was “way less stressed”. She described that she still has a slight panic when she sees brake lights ahead and her husband doesn’t slow down straight away, but overall feels much better.

I asked about this remaining feeling and what comes to mind/feeling when this happens. She responded: “I am worried we won’t stop in time and we will hit the other car. I get quite tense and feel it in my back. I also tend to “brake” myself….I swear I’ll put my foot thru the floor one day!!!” I also asked about the first accident again and what remains there. She explained: “I still feel helpless. Seeing her coming at me and not being able to do anything.”

I suggested that we tap for “The aspect that felt helpless” firstly, and wait until after this round to reconsider the braking issue as I felt that there was probably some overlap: In both situations she was helpless and the current feeling as a passenger may have been an ‘echo’ of the original car accident. My client found herself get sleepy through those rounds and found it hard to focus.

A few weeks later I got an excited email from the client. She described how she was a passenger in a car for a period of 4 hours. She said she felt calm in the car 95% of the trip aside from two moments of anxiousness which she felt were justified: a near miss where a car swerved into their lane, and while having an argument with her husband.

She said “Things are so much better!!! I swear after the night of seeing the two images of mum, it made such a massive change. Thank you!!!!”

My client describes herself as at +8 now on the SUE scale. She has had one appointment with a counsellor for this issue and is considering ceasing the appointments as she is feeling fine. “Thinking back to the accident, I am quite calm about it all. ”

I am thrilled for my client to no longer be being crippled by her anxiety, and also now experiencing emotional freedom from the pain of an accident that occurred so long ago.