I recently did an exercise for something that I was hesitant about due to fear. I knew the fear was there but of course telling myself to not be afraid was doing ab-so-lute-ly NOTHING. (surprised? I’m not! My energy body says “I need more information please! Why should I stop being scared!? Nope, not gonna stop until I believe it’s okay!”). I will honestly explain that the fear related to sex with my husband and fearing being vulnerable, which I had recognised as a problem in general, not specifically to him. I feared being vulnerable around others also. So I asked my (very very patient, caring and open-minded) husband to play a bit of a game with me and come up with scenarios relating to the fears and then I would gauge my responses on those scenarios as information to use in conjunction with energy work. Energy work is somewhat of a heart to heart connection with the energy body to shift the underlying issue.
I don’t need to tell you what the scenarios were (I’m sure you can imagine.. things like “So I have my <insert body part> and it is <insert location of body part>” and “What if you were <insert position> and I was <insert position/action>” – Hmm lots of inserting there…. ;)), but my husband posed many of them. This was pretty funny at times and confronting at others, but it’s only energy of course! For each of the scenarios I asked myself:
Where do I feel this in my body?
I was looking for any resistance, any tension, anything blocking energy flow. And for almost every single one, I felt it in my stomach. A ball that felt like a knot just sitting there quite heavily. I hadn’t noticed this before and was glad to be giving it attention now. It is never too late, you see. We are never stuck with our fears, burdens, issues, discomforts. I don’t believe in “That’s just how I am” when it comes to negative stuff, such as inability to relax and enjoy sex, but also in things like attitude, beliefs and behaviours. Anyway – as the exercise went on, I did notice that the ball got smaller in size and lessened in weight, but it still made its presence known.
I had my partner propose scenarios to me again. Again I asked:
and I noticed that a response in my body had moved down and felt like it was now in my ovaries. Shining and pulsing. Interesting feeling! I should explain that you could do this exercise solo but having a partner is helpful in situations which relate to unexpected or unplanned things and investigating your natural response. I could create scenarios in my mind but I might choose ‘safer’ scenarios inadvertently. You could also help your partner in return for something they are fearing (or dreading, or worrying about) and both benefit. I did this for my husband, also related to sex.
So I tapped for the feeling in the ovaries next. Aiming to improve energy flow and allowing for the energy in response to the situation to just flow through me instead of getting stuck along the way.
My husband retried the scenarios. I listened with my conscious mind (which made me laugh and giggle) as well as my energy mind:
My energy felt stuck again and I felt as though my energy wanted to flow down and come out between my legs but was stuck there and not releasing. So I tapped for this feeling at my vagina and could feel energy flow improve significantly while I did the tapping! Amazing feeling! I was excited for this to shift so obviously.
I asked my husband to test the scenarios again and there was no stuck feeling at all, just good energy flow. Woo hoo!
So later I decided to test this situation in reality. 😉 And I felt no fear. Nothing holding me back or occupying my thoughts or keeping me from enjoying the moment. I felt freedom and it was as if I had never had this problem. Although in reality I knew that this problem had been plaguing me for some time. After the event I am feeling even more freedom now – I faced the situation and clearly survived and I feel great! I’m so up for more testing! 🙂
So aside from sex, you can try this exercise on anything. Some examples:
* I am about to take a plane trip and the thought fills me with dread – Where? In your stomach? In your chest? Tap for “This feeling in my stomach” or “This heaviness in my chest”.
* It is late evening and I am heading to the pantry with the intention of eating a block of chocolate/heading to the fridge for a second bottle of wine that I know I don’t really want. Stop and feel what is going on in your body. Where’s the feeling? What does it feel like? Now tap for it “This ache in my _____”, “This _____ I feel in my hands”.
* I dream of being a physiotherapist/astronaut/accountant/hairdresser/world famous cyclist but when I consider how I might begin to get to that point I start to feel panicky. Where’s the feeling? Is it pressure in your head? Tingling in your feet? Tap for it. “These prickles on my ____ “, “This pain in my ____”.
And if it’s something you feel in your entire body, then use it too. Just craft your statement to match your feeling. Shift the heaviness, tension, discomfort. Then look again and see where it is. Maybe it’s more specific now, maybe it’s smaller. If it’s still there, use it.
Your body is giving you these clues with love. Listen, feel and take positive action. ❤