The Extra Terrestrial Self-Love Weight-Loss Plan

OK this is a bit of a vent so bear with me. Sometimes I feel like I am on another planet and I’ve just had yet another other-planetary moment and my mind has been blown.

I stumbled across a blog entry whereby the author admitted that maybe… just maybe… that people who were thin may actually be unhappy too.

What followed this post was many many comments congratulating the admission and the honesty and bravery and “WOW that made me think!”.

Wait. Really?!

Do people REALLY presume that body size, shape, attributes have a bearing on how we feel within ourselves? That everyone who fits in a particular tiny clothing size has a glowing attitude to match? When people lose weight do they think that when they are just short of their weight goal that the Emo Fairies will come in through the night and take the sadness and hurts away? How would this possibly work? How does it possibly make sense?!

Would the women trying to lose weight look in the mirror every day.. feel “meh”, then suddenly one day look in the mirror and a choir of angels sings and light beams down from the ceiling, allowing them to recognise that they have FINALLY attained TRUE beauty and they were free to live life with only positive feelings?

OK I’m being a little cheeky, but I just don’t get it. I don’t get how any of that makes sense at all. It’s so obvious to me how things such as emotions and energy work that I assume that other people understand it how I do.

Sadness is sadness whether it’s in a fat suit or a thin one. Experiences happen, no matter our outer physical ‘shell’, and those experiences alter our energy and evoke emotion, good or bad. And sad feelings remain until we process them, or evolve them, or reverse them. Altering the physical doesn’t necessarily alter the emotional. Putting on a pink hat doesn’t make me filled with feelings of love unless I already have the capacity. And if I already had the capacity, then the hat is redundant, isn’t it. I could pretend I put the hat on. I could visualise I constantly had that hat on. In the end I wouldn’t even think about the hat, it would be all me. Just as it was from the beginning.

Which is it in a nutshell, I guess. Some people think they don’t have permission to be happy in their skin unless they have a ‘pink hat’ telling them what they can feel, or an outfit with a magic number on the label which says to them: “NOW. Now, you are definitely a beautiful woman. Enjoy!”

Why wait for the permission from something on the outside to tell us it’s okay to be happy? Why wait to feel good? Wouldn’t feeling good about ourselves FIRST make it easier to prepare ourselves lovely healthy meals, move our gorgeous bodies and get active in a way that is fun to us, take care of ourselves with incredible tender loving care? In that way, wouldn’t feeling GOOD about ourselves make things like weight loss, dieting, strict regimes etc redundant?

But hey.. what would I know, I’m clearly from another planet. 😉

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Scared of Being Happy

I noticed this afternoon that I felt good. That there was nothing I needed or wanted. That I was happy exactly where I was at, and with what I was doing, which was nothing exciting. Just sitting at home. I wasn’t hungry, tired, lonely, bored, cold, uncomfortable. My house wasn’t perfect – I had laundry and crumbs everywhere. My kids had been fighting. I wasn’t immaculately presented. But I was content. Happy!

…And then I got a slight panicked feeling. Feeling that this couldn’t be right. That something would probably happen soon. That I couldn’t possibly feel like this for any length of time. That someone or something was going to upend it.

Thankfully I know that this panic is only energy, so I decided to give it the boot!

My favourite approach when I use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) for self-healing is to use the Aspect Model and ‘talk’ to the aspect of myself that has a problem and tap on their behalf. It is a very good way to handle problems where there is an inner argument or a clash of beliefs. In this case, there is an aspect that believes that things can’t possibly be problem-free. This aspect believes that happiness and peaceful moments are fleeting. Let’s call them the Pessimist Aspect.

Hey Pessimist Aspect. I know you’re a little concerned right now..

Yes, I’m worried. Waiting for the axe to fall. [I tap for “The aspect is waiting for the axe to fall” and “The aspect is scared of being happy”]

Why don’t you think you could just be happy.. unconditionally?

Because there’s always something! [I tap for “The aspect believes there’s always something”] I just don’t know HOW to be a happy person. I know how to be a broken person and ‘fix’ them, that’s easy. What do happy people do? How do they live? I don’t know how to be happy. [I tap for “The aspect doesn’t know how to be a happy person”]

It feels all new, hey. Exciting!

Yes, definitely. I am excited too. What if everything I ever wanted was here and now but I was too scared or stressed to enjoy it??

Do you feel like you need to have all the answers and know exactly how things will turn out? Can things just flow?

Of course they can. And no I don’t need to have all the answers. I’m looking forward to this unfolding. I’m ready to feel happy. [I tap for “The aspect is ready to be happy”]

So are you happy? Really? Without any niggles?

Yes! Feels good! [For extra buzzy light energy, I tap for “The aspect feels good being happy!”]
Do you have any aspects that freak out about happiness or living a peaceful life?