EFT Case Story: Coping with lack of support

My client’s mother had moved overseas and she was feeling stuck on the issue. When she had moved away it was a very bad time for my client, a time when she very much needed support. It bothered her and upset her, yet she couldn’t just get over it or let it go. She also had had a friend recently move away which also impacted on her feeling unsupported.

We tapped for “Loneliness” first, as this was the most obvious feeling that she was experiencing.

What presented next was “Distance” as she was feeling a world away.

She then felt that she was being silly about it all. She talked about wanting to be more positive and patient instead of yelling and being hard on her kids. We tapped for “Silly“.

The feeling then was a sense of emptiness, which we tapped for. During this round she found that she was focused on the windchimes outside instead, that it had allowed her to take in more of the bigger picture and things going on around her. She felt that she was more accepting of her mother and her life and her happiness.

We tapped for “Accepting” and she saw a visual image of herself smiling, from ear to ear. She saw herself as confident and happy and it was empowering as she was happy and on her own.

We tapped for “Content and happy” and after this she described a feeling of bliss, allowing herself to be happy and accepting of life around her.

If you’d like to arrange your own session, email me at info’at’dogrosehealing.com to book!

Feeling GOOD versus Not Feeling Bad

This is for the self-tappers, the people who use Emotional Freedom Technique on their own at home! I want to say YAY! and HOORAY! and give you a virtual thumbs up for using EFT for yourself (isn’t it awesome!?), but I have some suggestions which may make it even better.

It can be a very easy trap to fall into to just tap a problem to a point of nothingness: To go from feeling grumpy or frustrated or sad, and then tap on that down to a neutral place, where you can easily carry on with your day. At that neutral point you then can forget about it, because really, it doesn’t matter anymore – you’re not feeling it as a problem anymore due to the elimination of the negative feelings associated.

The issue with this is that this doesn’t allow a permanent resolution of the actual underlying problem to happen.

So a problem happens.. Someone’s words were hurtful. We might tap from our hurting (-8) down to feeling fine (around the neutral point of 0), but what could we ‘inject’ to help us in future if the same thing happened again? What positive message do we want to absorb and feel instead? How could we energise ourselves associated to an event like that?

Maybe the hurtful words related to a disagreement with our beliefs, or someone disliking a quality of ourselves. If we are proud of the person we are, and believe in the things we stand for, we should tap for that! (and if we don’t, well we should tap for that too!) And tap for the fact that we all have different views and approaches and that it’s more than okay to be the person that we are, even if it isn’t what others would choose for themselves. How lucky that in this life we can be the individuals that we are!

So upward we tap, for how proud we are ourselves and how much we like and love ourselves. We tap up to +7 and feel great, but decide to do at least one more round! We might tap for how much we appreciate other people in our lives, even if we disagree with them (in this example, the other person has given us a self-healing opportunity! Nice!). We might celebrate differences of opinion and freedom to think how we want to and express that. We might realise that we can choose who we want to associate with, and decide that we want to spend time with more like-minded people, and tap for those boundaries and choices being made and accepted. Allow it to unfold how it will, and energise with what comes naturally to you.

And maybe when we next disagree with someone or they tell us that there is a trait of us that they don’t like, that we might shrug and think “Well I love who I am. I’m okay with disagreeing or being wrong in someone elses eyes. I believe in me.”, and it doesn’t upset to the same degree anymore because there’s no wounded feelings, we know our truth and the truth of the situation. The ENERGY of those words FLOWS THROUGH! And we also know that if some element bothers us that we can repeat the process and feel even better about ourselves.

Encouraging the positive by tapping for it allows more significant changes within us to occur, instead of just “tapping away the negative” and staying the same underneath. Both offer evolution of how we feel, but tapping for the positive allows us to truly fly and become blissfully happy!

This Little Boy

For Lucy

~~~~

I am walking down a long path in what seems to be a park or a garden. Above me and on both sides of me are beautiful cherry blossom trees. Their dark branches reaching up and their pink flowers sitting delicately on their branches. It is a sunny afternoon and as I am walking I feel the warmth of the sun filter through the trees and onto my skin.

I look down to my right and holding my hand is a little boy. He is walking with me too. He looks up to me, squinting a little in the sun, and smiles. This is my son. He is here with me and enjoying this moment, this walk, this day. He has a little skip in his step and I’m not sure if it’s because he is happy and excited or he just wants to keep up with my grown-up steps. I love him and his little squint and his little skip and his little fingers and his little nose. I love him so much that my heart hurts trying to carry all the love in there that wants to overflow for him and keep him holding my hand forever.

Ahead I see a little brown bird at the base of one of the trees at the side of the path. The little boy sees it too. He stops in his tracks and points towards the bird, a big grin on his face and sparkling eyes. The bird is moving around in hops which makes the boy chuckle. The bird keeps hop, hop hopping and the chuckle becomes a squeal and then a belly laugh. My heart sings in seeing the joy in a plain old common brown bird’s movements simply because of this little boy.

The bird flies away with a chirp that has a sharp sound that remains and then fades after it is out of sight. And then it is silent.

I look to the boy and he is looking up at me. His lower lip protrudes slightly and his eyes moisten. He sniffs a few times and begins to cry.

I crouch down to his level and he wraps his arms around my neck and buries his head under my chin. His source of pure joy is gone in an instant, in all of the enjoying, and he is sad and he is feeling it. Unabashedly.

I sit down more comfortably, leaning my back against one of the cherry blossoms. His crying has quietened down but he is happy to stay in a big cuddle. And so am I. So there we sit.

We sit while dog walkers and cyclists go by. We sit while stirrings of impatience, schedules and ‘should’s bubble up from within me and then evaporate from my skin. We are happy here, calm here, resting here, relaxing here. We need nothing else and no one else right now.

The cherry blossoms are watching over us and we are safe, happy and content. I breathe deeply and contentedly. A single cherry blossom flower floats down from above and lands on the little boy’s hair. I notice that he has fallen asleep in my arms. I love this little boy.