Call your problem into the room with you to evolve it

Using energetic entities are a fantastic method of tackling a problem which seems too big, or has a life of its own, especially with relationships. And given that between a person and their beliefs, lovers, friends, foods, concepts, belongings, goals, money, etc is always an energetic relationship – we have a very powerful tool on our hands!

Using EFT in conjunction tackles the problem to the ground… or rather, draws them into our spirit and makes peace with them, resolving the issue.

It might sound a little ‘out there’, but it’s super easy, will you do it with me?

Step-by-step to using an entity for self-healing:

  1. Consider a problem you currently have. Hopefully you can think of something. Whether it’s an interpersonal tension or just something you’re struggling with. Got it in mind?
  2. Now ask yourself: If that problem was in your space, where would it be? Point to it. Maybe it’s a few metres away. Maybe it’s quite close. That’s your entity and that’s what we’re working with.
  3. What does that entity look like. How does it make you feel? I had a woman who had communication difficulties in her marriage describe her husband entity as a green alien-like creature. I had another woman describe her inability to orgasm as a ball of light trapped in an iron cage. I’ve seen difficult relationships as spiky balls, grey mists, pink mists. Maybe they look like a person, maybe energy, maybe an object. There’s no right or wrong. Just go with what presents for you.

    An example of an entity (from Dr. Silvia Hartmann)

  4. So then we use EFT to evolve that feeling and that entity, we want to improve the issue and improve our energy flow about this entity and problem. Tap along with my silent video now (it takes 3 minutes! I hope you have 3 spare minutes to help yourself feel good) and on each point say a phrase or word relevant to your entity. eg. “Trapped in a cage”, “Alien that creeps me out”, “Cold spiky ball”.
  5. Now that you’ve tapped (I hope you did!), look at the entity again. Is it closer to you? Has it changed? What does it look like? How do you feel about it?
  6. Tap another round about it. Tap along with my video again, using what presents to you now. Maybe the spiky ball has softened. Maybe the alien is more human-like and is being affectionate. Maybe the cage has unlocked or the bars have melted. Maybe the changes are making you feel scared, anxious, nervous. Tap for these things. eg. “Scared and excited”, “Softer spiky ball”.
  7. Consider the entity again. It might be closer and it might be more welcome. How do you feel about it? Tap along with my video again for how you’re feeling now. The entity might be seeming lighter, nicer, more loveable. Go with that.
  8. You may need to do additional rounds of tapping based on the issue, but ultimately the entity comes closer and closer until it is absorbed into your energy. I have done this many many times myself and with other people and each one ended in this way. I see it as a reconnection of what was a displaced part of the energy system before. And it is a positive and beautiful feeling!
  9. How did you go? Comment below and share with me your experiences! Did you evolve your relationship with something? How do you feel now?

Five Prerequisites to Overcoming a Problem

Five Prerequisites to overcoming a problem

These are five typical things I’ve noticed that can come into play when people choose not to resolve their emotional and energetic issues. This establishes these things as important pre-requisites for feeling better.

1. Be sick of it. Be over it. Recognise it as a problem. Be tired of how it affects your life. Dislike it and be at a point where you are ready to do something about it. Example: “I’m sick of never going on holidays because of this fear of flying. I want to see the world and visit family and friends and I can’t. I’m tired of putting my dreams on hold due to fears.” vs. “I’m so scared of flying! But it’s fine, we’re going on a cruise for our honeymoon instead”.

2. Emotional awareness. You’re aware of how you feel and can recognise your emotions, good and bad. If you’re not feeling it, denying it or denying your feelings, then it’ll be harder to give attention to. Example: “If I could just not think about it, it would go away. I put everything in a little box in my heart where it can’t hurt me.” vs. “Every time I think about that moment when he told me he loved someone else, it feels like a knife digging into my heart. I was so hurt, and I still am.”

3. The pay-off is no better than the problem. The benefits that come from you having the problem (even if they are just self-perceived ones) are less worthy to you than not having the problem is. You’re ready to overcome your problem, regardless of what pluses it seems to give you.  Example: “I don’t want to smoke anymore. It’s always helped me relax, but I don’t want to die like my aunt” vs.  “One part of me thinks I should stop being so anxious about my son getting hurt or being taken from me, but the other part wonders how badly things would go if I stopped. And aren’t I supposed to worry, since I’m his mum? If I don’t worry, am I a good mum? I’ll be fine.”

4. Recognising the problem is something that can be improved upon. Understand that things like beliefs, fears, anxieties, phobias, addictions, worries, stresses, relationships (and more!) are all comprised of energy. Even some forms of pain or physical illness can be directly linked to energy, and therefore be (at the very least) evolved and therefore improved with energy therapies. Emotions are outward symptoms of energy shifts within us. Example: “I’m just a worrier by nature. It’s just who I am.” vs. “I thought it was normal to dislike my body with such hatred. But my friends say how much they love their bodies. Maybe it’s something I can do something about..”

5. Finding a fixer. Knowing tools or people who can help you overcome an issue. An energetic issue needs an energetic specialist. Example: Doing EFT at home, or finding an EFT or other energy therapy practitioner, contact someone like me. vs. doing nothing, and the issue remaining as it is.

 

Seeking Help for the Silly Things

I know how hard it is to ask for help.

There is an element of pride which says “I should be able to handle this. Other people could handle this just fine. No one else needs help, why should I?”

There is also a question about the seriousness of those things that are troubling us. “This thing is so silly, it makes no sense. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it does. I want to stop thinking and feeling like this. I want to just snap out of this, but I can’t”.

And judgement.. “They will think I’m stupid for worrying so much about this. They will tell me my fears are ridiculous. They will laugh at me and send me away.”

The sometimes forgotten element is the energy system. That person that is coping fine with the same pressures does not have an energy system identical to one who is not. The one who is not coping has had different experiences and traumas that may mean that they are triggered by something that the coping person does not even register.

The energy system makes the irrational make sense.

Beliefs are made from energy. Beliefs bring in past experiences to interpret the present.

If a child believes that being away from their parent would result in certain death, they are going to fight tooth and nail to be with their parent at all times, even when the parent KNOWS that they are just going to the toilet/putting them in their high chair/leaving the room for a moment.

If a person believes they are a bad person, then they are going to question every compliment’s sincerity or any positive thing that enters their world.

Telling the child or the ‘bad person’ that they are being ridiculous and not seeing things right is not going to alter their beliefs or their energy system. Telling them that they just have to get over it, that they’re fine, isn’t going to reassure the part of them that disagrees vehemently!

The ‘irrational’ becomes completely rational when you look at a person as not just a brain in a body, but a human being with a physical body, an energy body and a thinking mind.

The energy body contributes to how we see and experience the world around us with our physical body, and how we interpret the things that happen to us with our brains.

Take heed of the ‘silly’ things and the ‘irrational’ reactions and get assistance with them by someone who understands the importance of them. With an energist like me or anyone that acknowledges that you are troubled by something that you can’t think or act yourself out of feeling. These things are worth the effort, and YOU are worth the effort.

Using EFT For Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

What’s PMDD?

According to the Wikipedia entry for PMDD, it is defined as severe PMS leading up to the menstrual cycle as well as a few days after menstruation has begun.

The main emotional symptoms are listed as:

  • feelings of deep sadness or despair, and suicide ideation
  • feelings of intense tension or anxiety
  • increased intense sensitivity to rejection or criticism
  • panic attacks
  • rapid and severe mood swings, bouts of uncontrollable crying
  • lasting irritability or anger, increased interpersonal conflicts; typically sufferers are unaware of the impact they have on those close to them
  • apathy or disinterest in daily activities and relationships
  • difficulty concentrating
  • chronic fatigue
  • food cravings or binge eating
  • insomnia or hypersomnia; sleeping more than usual, or (in a smaller group of sufferers) being unable to sleep
  • feeling overwhelmed or feelings of being out of control
  • increase or decrease in sex drive
  • increased need for emotional closeness

Sufferers may have many of these symptoms or one. This is an issue close to my heart as once a month my world would turn upside down. I felt like I was possessed by something I had no control of. It impacted on my husband and children and friends and family and relationships. It impacted on how I saw the world around me. It was a thick emotional filter that existed between myself and the rest of the world.

How Can PMDD Be Managed?

I had tried herbs and vitamins and breathing and journalling and was still plagued by this ‘demon’. I took the flower essence She Oak for many months, and although my cycle regulated and became much shorter (from ~45 days to ~30, an 11 day period to 7 days), I still had the severe PMS which I came to understand as PMDD.

I asked a wise woman for her advice on how to handle it emotionally/energetically. Her first suggestion was to de-stress energetically, step one for any emotional issue! However I was using EFT and de-stressing constantly through this emotional storm and feeling as though I was using a bucket with holes in it to bail out a sinking boat. I wasn’t getting anywhere fast!

Her second suggestion was to treat this PMDD part of me as a separate part of me. A part of me who is needing much support and assistance and exploding in rage and emotion once a month, perhaps because of unmet needs. If I gave attention to this aspect throughout the cycle, would ‘she’ no longer need to release fury once a month? It is called the Aspect Model in Energy EFT.

Using The Aspect Model for PMDD

So I decided to track my progress through one menstrual cycle to see what presented and what the PMDD Aspect was going through. (CD = Cycle Day)

CD 6
The PMDD aspect just wants a break, and is frantic to get all of the unfinished things done around the house so she doesn’t have to see them (and be overwhelmed at PMS time). I decided to paint my laundry, and gave objects a permanent ‘home’ that needed them. I also gave things we had no use for to my local op shop to declutter.

CD 9
The PMDD aspect wants to cry and has a heavy heart. I had noticed a tension and sensitivity in general on this day. My husband was frustrating me. I tapped for “needs to cry”. I reassessed the PMDD aspect and felt anger and tapped for “the aspect is angry”. Once the anger had been cleared I felt the PMDD aspect was confused and overwhelmed and tapped for this. When I asked her what it was that she needed, I felt that she was needing: a friend, love, support, and feels like she has none of it. My husband was distant emotionally and criticising things and it was hitting a nerve in the sense of not meeting any of the PMDD aspect’s needs. It made it more obvious to me that I needed to seek out what I needed in a positive way – for example, ask for a hug and initiating a conversation instead of getting annoyed and feeling unloved.

CD 17
The PMDD aspect is happy, just needs sleep.

CD 18
The PMDD aspect needs reassurance. I tapped for “the aspect is okay”. I was then given the impression (mental image) that the aspect could march in and take control of everything and get things tackled very quickly. As though it was an issue if things weren’t under control. I tapped for “the aspect doesn’t need to be in control to be safe”.

CD 20
The PMDD aspect is frustrated about mess with her childrens’ toys, so I decided to sit down with my children (and husband) to work out how to manage the toys and what would happen if they weren’t tidied, rather than the mess being my responsibility all the time and causing emotional stress. The PMDD aspect is relieved that there are now rules in place. The PMDD aspect is worried about the period being on its way in the next week or so. I tapped for “the aspect thinks she will lose her cool”.

CD 28
The PMDD aspect needs to have a cry, and focus her attention inward. I tapped for “The aspect wants to cry” and “the aspect wants to focus within”. I also had a bath and took time for myself and gave myself permission to focus on me and me alone.

CD 31
The PMDD aspect is highly annoyed at her husband. I tapped for “The aspect thinks her husband is useless”. (sorry honey – this process was well before we had worked through our issues with intimacy)

My period started the following day. I expected to feel far more out of control than I did at this stage. It was significant progress. I recognised each feeling as it arose and gave it the attention that it needed.

Life After PMDD?

It has been several cycles for me since then. I don’t consider myself to have PMDD anymore. There are emotions that surface prior to a period (which I still call PMS due to the timing of when they appear). However they are MUCH more subtle and I no longer feel out of control or possessed by them. I am aware of the emotions, not driven by them. These emotions are healing opportunities that I welcome – each cycle revealing different issues to give attention to and shift beyond. I use EFT for these issues as arise and still occasionally ask the PMS aspect what she needs. She is quietly content most of the time these days. 🙂

Giving ourselves (our aspects!) the opportunity to express what we need and want for balance and happiness is so important. The answers are there within us and just need to be given permission to come forward and be heard.

EFT Case Story – Healing from an abusive relationship

A very raw account of the process of healing an issue related to being in an abusive relationship. After over 10 years of carrying this pain with her, she was able to let it go in four rounds of tapping, using Emotional Freedom Technique. You can contact me at DogRoseHealing@gmail.com to arrange your own session.

My client, Rebecca (not her real name), described that she repeatedly found herself getting anxious, angry and aggressive in situations of conflict instead of being able to talk calmly. She was able to relate it back to a situation in her past where her boyfriend at the time had been aggressive towards her.

I used Forensic EFT with Rebecca to help her source the details. Her energy has remembered the event:

  • Where are you? At our apartment
  • What time of day is it? Daytime
  • What year is it? 2001
  • Where in the apartment are you? In the entry way to the study
  • What are you doing? Trying to leave for work
  • What is he doing? Hiding my keys from me so I can’t leave, blocking my way so I can’t go
  • How are you feeling? Angry, scared, trapped, embarrassed. I have to call my work and tell them I’l be late, but I am in tears. I’m crying. I hate him. I feel embarrassed for being with him as my boyfriend and allowing him to treat me like this.
  • What happens then? I want to hit him, and I do. And I hate myself for being just as much of an asshole as he is to me. He hits me back and then drags me by my hair and then I am on the floor and he kicks my stomach and I am on the bedroom floor crying and he is gone and I am winded and hurting. My cat is watching me from where he is hiding in the closet (scared) and looks concerned and I feel like I have to put on a brave face for him.
  • How would you rate it from -10 to +10? This is -10!

As this is a highly emotive situation to process we use the Aspect Model to give some emotional distance. We decide for Rebecca to tap for “the aspect that hated herself”. Rebecca described her as the one that kept her with someone so awful, the one that hated herself even more after lashing out in a situation she shouldn’t have even ended up in if she had any self-respect. Rebecca said she was so angry at this girl for being there. “She deserved so much better,” Rebecca said, “Why couldn’t she see!!” Rebecca is crying and says that she hasn’t thought about the issue or felt things so clearly since it happened.

After that round Rebecca and I discuss and decide to tap on “the aspect that loved him”. As much as he was unpleasant, there were things that had her enthralled. He made her laugh, he was passionate, assertive, affluent, at times gentle and helpless, desperate for care and attention. There were things that kept that aspect of Rebecca entertained and interested. There were things that she also thought she could change about him, which was an exciting challenge for her. Rebecca says that she feels sick after this round of tapping. Sick in the stomach and a burning like reflux in the throat.

Rebecca talks more with me about this aspect and feels how that aspect should have packed her bags then and there instead of staying for another few years with this loser”. She says: “I feel like I am right there yelling at her to get up and just go while he’s not looking, then somehow get home to her parents’ house, no matter what they say or think about you. I know she is feeling like she doesn’t matter, like life isn’t worth living. She is seeing a GP for depression and I want to shake her so she can see that she isn’t depressed, that there’s nothing wrong with her, that she just has been worn down by being with this awful guy.”

We tap for “the aspect that should have left him”.

When Rebecca thinks back to the situation again, thinking about the aspect that was laying hurt on the floor, she feels that the aspect is brighter and stronger within herself. She recognises that she has some courage and hope again. Rebecca says “I want her to feel supported because I know she wasn’t at the time and the embarrassment comes from a sense of trying to prove herself. Going home or to a friend with her tail between her legs would have admitted failure or defeat and it doesn’t feel like an option. She feels unwanted in general even with that sense of hope. She doesn’t feel like she belongs anywhere at all.”

We decide to tap for “The aspect that felt unsupported”. Rebecca described how she was very emotional during this round of tapping. She said she could easily imagine the aspect get up and go out the door and she kept feeling “She is free, and I am free”. Rebecca was crying but when she was more composed, described how this “feels incredible!”. “He can’t hurt her anymore and the event doesn’t matter anymore, it is gone.”

Rebecca was feeling great and after so many years she was wondering if she could test this issue to see if it were resolved. Whether she would still automatically respond with anger or aggression when faced with conflict. I suggested she take herself back to the moment when she felt like hitting her partner. She said that when she tried to hit him that she felt “energetically barred” from doing so. The aspect of Rebecca at that time is saying “You don’t matter” and is calm, controlled and happy in herself even though he is being offensive and antagonising.

Rebecca describes this as +10 on the SUE scale.

After our session Rebecca contacted me to let me know that she was able to recognise in situations where she might normally have felt aggressive, that she was able to remain calm and the aggression just did not come. It was no longer available as an option for her. She is thrilled by what EFT has done for her!

EFT Case Story – Anxiety after a car accident

This is one of my favourite Emotional Freedom Technique case stories so far. I feel blessed and to have helped this client to let go of an issue that she was plagued with for over a decade – in just seven rounds of tapping. And we never even met! We conducted our sessions via email communications.

My client described anxiety that she experienced when she was a passenger in a car, ever since she was involved in a car accident. She had previously seen a psychologist to assist, but the issue remained. She felt ready to get to the bottom of her issue and decided to try Emotional Freedom Technique with me.

I firstly asked for her to describe the accident and her feelings as a passenger now. She described not just one, but five car accidents since 1995. She felt that the bulk of the issues she experienced now stemmed from the first accident: A head-on collision at low speed with her mother as the other driver. She said: “It is hard to get pissed off with the other driver about what they’ve done to you when it is your own mum.”

As a passenger she is instantly tense in the car. She said she tries to do deep breathing, and tries not to think about the fact that she is a passenger. She closes her eyes so she can’t see what’s going on around her, but it tends to make her even more anxious. She says she is constantly telling her husband to slow down and watch out and says it is “driving him insane”. She feels sick with worry. Just wants to get to wherever she’s going, as quickly as they can, so she can get out of the car. She said “The last time I was in the car, I got so tense that I was in so much pain in my lower back from tensing up so much.”

She rates it on the SUE scale as -10. “It is by far the worst it has ever been. I think we can safely say I’ve hit rock bottom for this problem”.

I began by explaining the concept of EFT and describing the Heart & Soul protocol for her to use throughout the treatment for this issue. I suggested she tap on “Calm” as I taught her the protocol and simultaneously de-stressed the energy system.

From there I asked her to consider the initial accident and we were able to break it down to the moment of collision and the associated feelings and thoughts. The feeling that stood out for me was “I felt sick”, so we tapped on this. There was also anger towards her mother and I suggested tapping for that anger.

When reconsidering how she feels about being a passenger in a car now, she said that she still felt at -10 on the SUE scale. There had been no change.

I suggested that we could use the Aspect Model, in case the situation was too emotionally confronting, which has the client considering the girl in the car accident as a separate version of herself. I suggested considering this girl and what she was going through.

She tapped for:

“The aspect was angry”  (still at -10 after this)

“The aspect felt helpless” (still at -10 after this)

I wondered about the uniqueness of the situation and how it meant that she couldn’t get angry and couldn’t get upset, really couldn’t express any feelings about the car accident at all, lest she create more guilt in an already guilty mother. Since her mum may have been her usual emotional support, she would doubly be unable to express how she felt – she was therefore stuck to deal with this issue on her own.

So I suggested that she tap for:

“The aspect that feels she can’t express her feelings”

(suddenly she is now at -2 on the SUE scale!)

While tapping for this, the client described a very strong emotional release. While tapping she ‘saw’ two versions of her mum: the one that hit her (“faceless and emotionless”) and “my mum who was there for me. She wasn’t the driver of the car, just my mum”. She said she was bawling her eyes out after this round, which I felt was a VERY important and positive step forward.

The following day she was a passenger in the car and reported back to me that she was “way less stressed”. She described that she still has a slight panic when she sees brake lights ahead and her husband doesn’t slow down straight away, but overall feels much better.

I asked about this remaining feeling and what comes to mind/feeling when this happens. She responded: “I am worried we won’t stop in time and we will hit the other car. I get quite tense and feel it in my back. I also tend to “brake” myself….I swear I’ll put my foot thru the floor one day!!!” I also asked about the first accident again and what remains there. She explained: “I still feel helpless. Seeing her coming at me and not being able to do anything.”

I suggested that we tap for “The aspect that felt helpless” firstly, and wait until after this round to reconsider the braking issue as I felt that there was probably some overlap: In both situations she was helpless and the current feeling as a passenger may have been an ‘echo’ of the original car accident. My client found herself get sleepy through those rounds and found it hard to focus.

A few weeks later I got an excited email from the client. She described how she was a passenger in a car for a period of 4 hours. She said she felt calm in the car 95% of the trip aside from two moments of anxiousness which she felt were justified: a near miss where a car swerved into their lane, and while having an argument with her husband.

She said “Things are so much better!!! I swear after the night of seeing the two images of mum, it made such a massive change. Thank you!!!!”

My client describes herself as at +8 now on the SUE scale. She has had one appointment with a counsellor for this issue and is considering ceasing the appointments as she is feeling fine. “Thinking back to the accident, I am quite calm about it all. ”

I am thrilled for my client to no longer be being crippled by her anxiety, and also now experiencing emotional freedom from the pain of an accident that occurred so long ago.

EFT Case Story – Releasing Anger

A case story using Emotional Freedom Technique to help heal feelings of anger. Contact DogRoseHealing@gmail.com to organise your own session.

 

I did a Skype session tonight with a client going through many different challenges in her life. She was wanting help with her feelings of anger in relation to several different issues that were also interlinked due to events and experiences along the way. She described her angry feeling as being hot. And heat around the chest. She rated her strength of feeling as -8 (on a scale from -10 to +10, with 0 being a neutral feeling).

We began with a round of EFT for “calm”, to de-stress the client, get us both comfortable and show her how to tap. I explained how we could go back to this at any time to release any energy stress that might arise.

We then tapped for “This heat in my chest”. My client described that the heat had reduced, it was much cooler. She felt energy flow, a “buzzing feeling”. She said the feeling in her chest felt like it had a fuzzy outline.

My client is intuitive and was definite on what she was feeling. She decided she wanted to tap for the emotion that she knows the physical feeling as. We tapped for “The anger”. After this she said she felt a lot calmer. She would rate the feeling -2 or -3.

As the anger was still there, we tapped again for “The anger”. She felt that she would rate the anger at 0 now. I explained how with Energy EFT the point of zero is the point where we can tap for positive feelings – how we desire to feel instead. My client decided that she wanted to tap for closure.

We tapped for “Closure”. During this round, she was reminded of a guided meditation that she had done last night. She had been met in this meditation environment by her deceased brother. The version of herself in the meditation pushed him away, as she was too upset by his presence. I felt that this was something that presented itself as needing some attention before closure was possible. She recognised that there was sadness from his passing that she hadn’t dealt with yet. She hadn’t known what to do with it.

We decided to tap for “Sadness”. It was understandably emotional for my client – one challenging aspect of Skype as I am just on the screen, as are they, and I can’t give a hug, just be reassuring as best as I can be with words. After this round she recognised that there was no sadness there anymore. She also felt that her response to him in a meditation would change if she was to do it again. Through this round she was reminded that she didn’t get to say goodbye, as his passing was sudden.

My client wanted to tap for “Calm” before going on at this point. We tapped for this together. She described a letting go feeling after this.

We then tapped for “Didn’t get to say goodbye”. My client felt this was much needed, and that it was like a release for her. I asked about the anger and she said it still felt like it was there, but that it was directed in a different direction now. Also related to her brother and what he had left behind.

We tapped for “The anger”. After this she felt less anger and it was hard to think about. The concept of anger changed during the tapping and the word “misunderstood” came to mind. Related to her brother but also related to her husband. That her husband misunderstood her at the time of her brother’s death.

Here we tapped for “Misunderstood”. And what came to mind was a wound. She was wounded by his reaction, his reaction to her own. This wound is what remains.

We tapped for “The wound”. There was a good and light feeling here as we tapped. She felt that she could see it more as a miscommunication between her husband and her, rather than an insult or a hurt. She felt this was feeling more neutral and there wasn’t anything remaining that was troubling her.

As we were at a neutral feeling again she felt that we could tap for affirmations here, that there was nothing negative left to shift. We tapped for “At peace”. She said she felt more positive, lighter. I was struck how the choice of words covered both the concept of relationship tension being resolved, as well as the concept of someone’s memory being laid to rest.

Our final round was for “Free”. My client described a very light feeling in herself. She described that she felt that she now understood things much more clearly where before the intermingled issues were too overwhelming, and she wasn’t sure what to do about them. She said she is feeling more positive about everything.

I thought she did remarkably well facing these things that presented themselves and letting go of what she needed to along the way. She described her feeling at the end as +7. I’m very happy with this outcome and seeing her smiling face before we disconnected.