EFT Case Story – Anxiety about partner’s health

A client shared that she had been struggling with anxiety. She had been seeing a psychologist in the past but things had persisted. She wasn’t sure if the anxiety she was feeling was related to her personality (she considers herself a ‘worrier’) or something more that needed attention.

We began by tapping for “Calm” to de-stress before expanding more on the anxious feelings that were occurring.

She found that she was becoming more anxious in situations she wouldn’t normally be, such as considering canceling trips that involved airplane travel. She also felt untrusting about other drivers on the road when driving with her son. In terms of anxiousness, she was most concerned about her husband’s health conditions and his future.

She described that she had a sense of doom about her husband’s future. Feeling that there was not much hope for him, no cure, no successful treatment, and knowing what was likely to eventuate. She also felt a corresponding pain and tightness in the chest and neck, describing that she often felt her emotions physically in her body.

She rated the strength of feeling as -7 on the SUE scale (where -10 is very strong negative feelings and +10 is very strong positive feelings and 0 is neutral), frequently worsening at night, to -10.

We tapped for “Doom“, which was understandably emotional for my client during the tapping, and a very heavy feeling to process. I let my client know that we could stop and de-stress at any time.

The strength of feeling evolved from -7 to -4. My client felt that she was at a point where she recognised that fighting wasn’t going to change things. She could acknowledge that her husband wouldn’t be around as much as she wanted him to be for her and their son. We decided to tap for “Peaceful resignation“, which was also emotional.

After this round she felt a significant looseness and relaxing in her neck. Less tension, less weight. She described it as though the tension had been “vacuumed out”! She felt far better physically, but emotionally she described that she felt conflicted: That there was a part of her that was ready to no longer be worried or anxious, yet there was another part of her that felt that she was a bad person if she wasn’t worried for her husband.

At this point my client said that this was “Amazing”: We had come to this point of realisation about an inner conflict that had not surfaced in the sessions she had with her psychologist.

We discussed the conflict that she was feeling before deciding to tap for “I’m a bad person if I’m not worried“. However there was no evolution on the SUE scale with this round. She remained at -2. She said that she felt the conflict throughout the round of tapping – one part of her agreeing, the other part not.

I decided for us to tap directly for The Aspect in question: That part of her that felt that she could only be caring if she was worrying. We tapped for “The aspect that believes she needs to worry“.

At this time my client said that she is no longer feeling the need to worry, and is feeling quite neutral. She is also feeling completely relaxed in her neck and chest.

From here I suggested we tap for a positive feeling that she would like to feel about the situation. She immediately said “I can love and care for my husband without worrying“. She began talking about moments with her husband where there was nothing but joy, and she lit up and her energy brightened.

My client was happy to end the session at this point, feeling great and at +7.

The other issues which had also been a source of anxiety had also evolved in the process, and she described them as feeling neutral now. I gave her the instructions for her to use on her own to tap for positive phrases or affirmations on the other issues also.

Are you your illness or are you a wellness work-in-progress?

I’m extremely passionate about helping people help themselves.. to evolve the state that they are at beyond stagnancy and forward to something brighter and easier and more positive!

Being this passionate comes at a price sometimes though, and that is one of frustration. I see people as being far above and beyond their labels of illnesses or syndromes, and feel that each symptom (in particular the emotional ones, but also the physical) is a message of something seeking attention, or something out of balance.

Unfortunately, quite often (not always of course, but quite often), people focus on the label and this focus translates into acceptance of the symptom as a permanent part of who they are, not something that they can do anything about. “It is this disease that has control of me, there’s nothing I can do about it”.

This in turn can result in inaction. The symptom is then no longer a message; it becomes “just how it is”. And that is frustrating as an observer. It sets the sufferer up for being stuck with that symptom indefinitely.

I see the potential for lives to be made easier and metaphorical weights to be lifted. I see that each of us have the keys to use the messages to improve our lives for the better!

Step #1 is to give attention to the symptoms.

See every symptom as a message.

For example, I saw my chiropractor yesterday and she found my mid to lower back was out. I hadn’t fallen or bumped it physically. She used kinesiology and the associated muscle testing to find the connection between that misalignment and my view of myself as a parent; being hard/judgemental upon myself. This was no surprise to me at all. I literally need to ‘get off my own back’ here. And I expect to see her again and have something similar present itself until I soften my view on myself as a mum and acknowledge the positive gifts I share with my children.

There are many people and groups in history who have made strong connections with the physical to the emotional. Traditional Chinese Medicine has mapped organs to emotions, metaphysical beliefs map chakras to emotions. Then there are energy psychology methods such as Emotional Freedom Technique, clearing the emotional and resulting in changes in the physical. They are all just different versions and interpretations of the same constant:

Our bodies are talking to us!

Our state of physical wellness is inextricably linked to our emotional wellness!

You cannot (completely) treat an issue without addressing the emotional contributors. You cannot continue to ignore the emotional parts of you without there being side-effects.

By all means, accept your diagnosis, your illness, your disease (‘dis-ease’), your imbalance, but please USE it. Use it as a guide, a messenger, a helper to support you on your journey towards wellness and balance – balance of yourself as an evolvable being, created with mind, body and spirit.