Facebook As Therapy

If you are an active member of Facebook or any other online community, you are exposed to lots of other peoples’ “stuff”. Some of those things might trigger what seems like an irrational response in you. You might get irritated, frustrated, confused, angry, offended, upset..

This triggering of feelings is actually a really easy way to be shown what to give attention to in terms of self-healing. They are just words (or pictures), or someone elses opinion. Why should they ruin your day? So they touched a nerve and got your attention and you’re feeling something you don’t want to – use it and let it go! And the cause of the trigger will be none the wiser!

So here’s how, in 8 easy steps:

0. Before doing anything else, do a round of Emotional Freedom Technique for the word “Calm”, saying the word out loud once on each tapping point shown in the video linked above. This separates the trigger from an energy stress response to a real annoyance. If you’re hardly bothered by the issue after this, it was most likely just energy stress and you can carry on with your day if you so choose, or continue below!

1. Notice when you think about or look at the trigger on Facebook, what are you feeling? Do you feel it somewhere in your body? A particular emotion? How strong is the feeling, from -10 to +10 (where -10 is strongly negative feeling and +10 is strongly positive and 0 is neutral)? Rate it.

2. Give it a label or a phrase (eg. “Joe Bloggs is giving me the shits“, “I feel a white hot rage for Jane Doe and her pathetic check-ins with our mutual friends!“, “I’m so annoyed with these thinly veiled homophobic posts“). Shorten it if you need to (eg. “annoyed!“).

3. Take that phrase and use it in a round of Emotional Freedom Technique while thinking about, or looking at the trigger. Awesome!

4. Look back at the trigger. How do you feel now? How would you rate it from -10 to +10? Has the original emotion changed at all? That’s what we’re aiming for, any evolution, even if it’s small. Maybe the rage has lessened, or the rage has changed to annoyance. It might be giving you a clue as to what the roots are to the trigger. Put what the feeling is now into words.

5. Take those words and use them in another round of Emotional Freedom Technique.

6. Look at the thing that triggered you again. What is the rating now? What is the feeling? If you’re feeling more apathetic than insulted, go for a positive statement along the lines of what the trigger (eg. “Peace”, “It’s okay for us to disagree”, “I’m happy to be me”, “We are all on our own journey”, “I believe in myself”). If you are still feeling quite negative, return to step 4 to do at least another round of tapping.

7. Take the positive words/phrase that you’ve decided on and use them in another round of Emotional Freedom Technique.

8. How do you feel when you look or think about the trigger? Does the energy or feeling of that post just flow right through you? No noticeable tension or stuckness? How’s the rating? Up the + end of the scale? At least the inverse of where you began? That’s what we’re aiming for. Congratulations for getting here!  Feels good, doesn’t it!

Seeking Help for the Silly Things

I know how hard it is to ask for help.

There is an element of pride which says “I should be able to handle this. Other people could handle this just fine. No one else needs help, why should I?”

There is also a question about the seriousness of those things that are troubling us. “This thing is so silly, it makes no sense. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it does. I want to stop thinking and feeling like this. I want to just snap out of this, but I can’t”.

And judgement.. “They will think I’m stupid for worrying so much about this. They will tell me my fears are ridiculous. They will laugh at me and send me away.”

The sometimes forgotten element is the energy system. That person that is coping fine with the same pressures does not have an energy system identical to one who is not. The one who is not coping has had different experiences and traumas that may mean that they are triggered by something that the coping person does not even register.

The energy system makes the irrational make sense.

Beliefs are made from energy. Beliefs bring in past experiences to interpret the present.

If a child believes that being away from their parent would result in certain death, they are going to fight tooth and nail to be with their parent at all times, even when the parent KNOWS that they are just going to the toilet/putting them in their high chair/leaving the room for a moment.

If a person believes they are a bad person, then they are going to question every compliment’s sincerity or any positive thing that enters their world.

Telling the child or the ‘bad person’ that they are being ridiculous and not seeing things right is not going to alter their beliefs or their energy system. Telling them that they just have to get over it, that they’re fine, isn’t going to reassure the part of them that disagrees vehemently!

The ‘irrational’ becomes completely rational when you look at a person as not just a brain in a body, but a human being with a physical body, an energy body and a thinking mind.

The energy body contributes to how we see and experience the world around us with our physical body, and how we interpret the things that happen to us with our brains.

Take heed of the ‘silly’ things and the ‘irrational’ reactions and get assistance with them by someone who understands the importance of them. With an energist like me or anyone that acknowledges that you are troubled by something that you can’t think or act yourself out of feeling. These things are worth the effort, and YOU are worth the effort.