Mother Duck Gets Honest

The main source of frustration in my life is my children. My children are constantly fighting and playing up and acting bored really, I am permanently at the point of “Over it” lately, even if I start the day with great intentions and a positive spring in my step. I had had physical steps in place to handle things and felt like things were okay.

Until… I saw this on Facebook.

I had a really strong reaction to it. I saw the very sad mother duck, crying herself to sleep while she is cold, her ducklings warm under her feathers, ripped from her body. I was wondering if mother duck would get to sleep, would get to feel comfortable. And she would then need to wake and be on mother duck duty the following day, exhausted and featherless.

And the quote about pie – has this family never heard of sharing?! Why should a mother be someone who denies their own needs and puts themselves last?

Both the words and image together made me quite annoyed. I’m a mother but I never signed up to put my needs last. I never signed up to suffer in silence or go hungry or cold. And many other mums I asked about this agreed with me, but still I wondered why this had ticked me off so much. Things that tick me off (and probably you too!), getting a strong reaction, are reversals. Energy zzts that have got hit in the process of seeing, thinking or feeling something. Nerves that have been touched. So there was something there, but I didn’t know what.

I also felt very strongly I did not want to put the kids first. But that maybe I should want to, (“if I was a good mother”) and I didn’t. Why didn’t I want to?

I had taught my husband Project Sanctuary and how to create energy habitats for specific issues, so ‘for fun’ (my poor, suffering, husband) created me a habitat specific to this issue. Something that would help me understand what was going on in terms of the reversal.

He ‘saw’ a pre-school or kinder type of environment and felt that I was one of the kids. That the issue relates to something that happened when I was a kid.

I thought about that more, didn’t come up with anything immediately, so used good old energy to help me. I did forensic EFT to drill down on what might have happened. I was faced with a situation where a pre-school teacher had asked me to go away, to go and play something, when I had been trailing her and following her around. I recalled a guitar, and felt that it had been music time and then free play and I hadn’t gone off to free play. So I got told to go off. I felt hurt, rejected, abandoned. I tapped on those things for that pre-schooler me and wondered if that was it, but got busy and didn’t get to place attention on it.

A few days later I was sitting in the bathroom while my kids were in the bath, my husband with me. He looked worn out and a bit stressed. I suggested EFT, even offered to tap him and he said no, he just didn’t feel like it. The kids were too loud, he couldn’t focus.

After the bath I had dressed my daughter and we were talking about her skin that has a lot of marks and sores on it. We had applied the usual cream but the redness was persisting. It is a bad time of year for dry skin and irritation but this seemed worse than usual. She said all the sores and red marks were because she had scratched it with her long nails. I trimmed her nails and asked her what she felt when she was itchy, what it reminded her of. She said she felt sad and it reminded her of me going away, when she was asleep and when I was going out with friends without her. She also seems to itch a lot more when she is in her bed or when she is in trouble. (incidentally, base chakra = skin and base chakra also = mother relationship, and itchy = irritated..) So we tapped for her itchy skin after talking about it. Just one round. And then she sighed and said “I don’t want to do this anymore” and went off to play.

It’s silly but it really hit me hard and I got upset. If I couldn’t get my husband or my daughter to tap with me, what hope did I have of getting anyone else to want to? How was I meant to help and be useful? And I tapped for that and recognised that my daughter was in a similar situation, with me not giving her interests a lot of attention either.

Silvia Hartmann has written an entire program (for dog training nonetheless but the approach translates to parenting) whereby the most important element to having a positive relationship as well as reducing issues is ATTENTION ENERGY. Giving attention and giving love with that attention. I hadn’t been doing a lot of that. In fact the main time that I gave attention was when I was in the role of helper/healer. What if my kids were perfectly fine and didn’t need help? Could I still give them attention? I didn’t want to manifest them having problems by focusing on it, what was I doing here?!

So more tapping. More rejection, abandonment, feeling like an annoyance just for being who I am, more sense of respect and love for the individual journeys we’re on, including our individual interests and passions, more love all round. Significant energy shifts here and feeling a zillion times better.

As I put my daughter to bed that night, I said “If I ever made you feel rejected or unloved because I said no to playing with you or did my own thing, I’m really sorry about that. I love you very much.”.

She said “Yes you did”. (not a surprise, but sad acceptance nonetheless) I asked her what we might do to help that, for her to feel better. She asked me to make a suggestion, so I said “More time with just Charlotte and mum for playing?” and she agreed to this. I was then thinking about the flow of our usual day and asked her when she might like to do that. She said “All the time!”. I laughed and said “Well mum does need some time to do her own thing too”. And she said “You get to do that when I’m in bed.”

BAM! There it is.

And she is so right. It really hit me to hear that from her, but she was right and I couldn’t deny it. They sleep 12 hours overnight, giving me approximately 3 hours of Me Time every night including whatever else I do through the day while they are awake. I thought about the things that I did on a daily basis and recognised that the majority of things I was doing WERE for me. I had really got away with being a pretty selfish Mrs Duck, and my ducklings were the ones who were being put last.

So it comes as no surprise, in hindsight, that that image on Facebook created a reaction in me. Deep down I knew what was going on, but I didn’t make the appropriate connections, or just didn’t want to own up to them.

This also is further unfolding of other challenges I have felt or experienced with my children. Will shifting that sense of abandonment and rejection make the difference? I know what I need to do in practical terms, it’s just flowing with that and softening any resistance as it presents.

What kind of Mother Duck are you and how do you give attention energy to your ducklings?

Good riddance, Groundhog Day!

Yesterday was a bad day. I was really tested by my children, I struggled with them, I fought with them, they seemed to tantrum and complain about everything, they seemed to have some sort of disagreement with each other or with me every few minutes, it seemed not much went smoothly at all. I was a bit of a wreck by the end of the day.

This morning I was woken by my 2.5 year old son in my room talking to me. Asking a zillion questions, making demands of me. Another day had begun for me before I was even fully conscious. Ugh.

I was lying underneath a woollen doona in bed, but I felt heavy and held down with dread and fear of how the day was beginning and how it would most likely end up. I did not want to get up.

I recognised that I had started this new day as if it was still the previous day. I was feeling and acting as though it was already the case. No wonder I didn’t want to get up.

I also thought about the concept of manifestation and how “acting as though you already have your goal” is a surefire way to manifest something. Well if I was acting/feeing/believing as though a day of shouting, tantrums and troublemaking was ahead of me, what do you suppose might have been in my future?

So I walked my talk. I tapped. And I tapped. And I tapped.

I tapped for everything I was feeling when I thought about the day ahead. All the negative self-talk. All the heavy feelings. All the negative beliefs. And when I felt clearer, more neutral, I tapped for how I wanted the day to go. How I wanted to feel!

And from this ~15 minutes of attention, it became easy to get out of bed. I didn’t have to talk myself into it or force myself up and moving. I didn’t have to sigh and accept a ‘Groundhog Day’ existence that I begrudged (which was how it felt before the tapping).

The kids responded in kind and were cooperative with getting ready to go out. We were earlier than usual and I didn’t need to shout or nag and complain.

I did the kindergarten run with more energy and enthusiasm and calm than I had the day before. And now (this afternoon) with the day over half over, the effects have persisted. My children have had their moments where they complained or argued or fought but my reactions were less “here we go again!” and more “what does my child need?”. I am relaxed and not worried or bothered on a personal level. I’m not wanting to throw my hands up in the air and quit. Today has already been a far better day than yesterday.

With such a positive outcome today, I’m going to give proper time and attention to how I begin my day, and what metaphorical blanket is hanging over me before I get up. I’ll shift any negative predictions I have, so I can embrace my little ones in the moment and for who they are, instead of how I don’t want them to be.

There is a lot of focus on manifesting in relation to future goals and successes, but what about daily manifestation? If we gave more attention to the every day, could the long term successes come easier perhaps?

Let’s all start the day: expecting the best, accepting that we don’t need to control everything for it to be okay, that we will manage with what comes our way and go easily with the flow, that the outcome will be one that is perfect for each of us. And we know that it will easily be the case because we will tap for it, shifting any resistance and imprinting it upon our energy body!

An Interview with Dr Silvia Hartmann

Dr Silvia Hartmann, you have achieved amazing things in the areas of emotional healing, energy healing, human and animal behaviour and development. You’ve developed and designed transformational, healing and educational tools including Project Sanctuary, The Genius Symbols, Emotional Transformation, and Energy EFT. You’ve also written and published powerful fiction and non-fiction books as well as created magical works of art and music..

Is there anything that you can’t do!?

Many things. But whatever I can’t do in the hard, I can do in Sanctuary. Thus, I can certainly have a go at most things, in my own way …

What brought you to energy work?

Like so many people, I have a measure of talent relating to extra sensory perception. But in the absence of some kind of logical explanation, I didn’t do that much with it. I was working as a researcher in modern animal behaviour. We tried to isolate physical factors that affected behaviour especially in companion mammals, such as dogs and horses. We found a lot but there was always an X-factor. One day, I had the revelation that the missing piece was the exchange of energies between social mammals. I wrote that up in the Harmony Program of 1993 and started to create training strategies based around these energy exchanges. I then switched to human behaviour and ran into the problem of the so called “unconscious mind.” This needed to be resolved, so I created Project Sanctuary. This was doing a good job and in 1998, I came across EFT, which was the first time I’d seen what I would call “real” energy work outside of my own research. I thought it would make a good bridge to get more people to understand the reality of energy work, so I put myself behind promoting it. In 2002, it was going great guns so I did some further refinement and research and created EmoTrance as the result of that. 

What do you feel has been your greatest success to date?

On a personal level, I would say the discovery of the 6th sense. That’s a pretty profound thing.

On the transpersonal level, I don’t know. At the moment, I’m betting on the SUE Scale.

You have been at the helm of many energy modalities, which is your favourite? Which do you personally use the most?

I use Project Sanctuary the most and that’s also what I turn to in moments of personal need. To me, it’s the most natural and satisfying way to interact with not just energy but really, the wider Universe. Wouldn’t be here without it …

What is your creative process like, how do you come up with new material?

Project Sanctuary, of course. I’m used to using it so we’re not talking about the ABC version of creating specific habitats. The thing is to have a question that needs answering. You need to want to know something. Without that, the whole process cannot start. “And what else is there?” is a good question when you run out.

Do you ever get creatively blocked or stuck?

Haha! That’s funny. 

What is your favourite song?

Starman by Bowie

You have worked with many people. What is the most impressive healing outcome that you have been a part of? Or your favourite?

I have never cured anyone of cancer. But it’s true, I haven’t tried. I have very little to do with the physical side of things; that’s a decision I made at some point. People get too hung up about physical healing. It’s understandable when you’re in pain, and yes, it’s the basis of existence. But we will die at some point, all of us, and for any of us, it could be much sooner than we think. So I’ve kind of specialist in the areas of the non-physical questions.

So then, what would I call a star healing event?

I was once with a builder who said quite viciously, “I’m so stupid,” because he’d left his hammer behind in his van. I turned around to him and said, “You’re not stupid.” He laughed and said, “Tell that to my teachers, they all agreed.”

I said, “They were wrong.”

He laughed a little nervously and looked up into my eyes. Hesitantly, he said, “What. all of them?”

And I looked right back at him and said, “Yes. All of them.”

His pupils dilated, this wave went through him and I knew for a fact his world would never be the same again. 

That’s the sort of healing I love.

What challenges have you faced when it comes to helping us humans through our struggles? What type of issues are the hardest for you to help others with?

Look, I don’t think helping people is hard. It’s not hard and it’s not long. It doesn’t entail strapping people to your back and carrying them around like some hideous burden.

The way I see it, I just look at the person and think to myself, “For sure, I am no angel, but what I have to give, I give to you.” 

That usually does … something.

And really, it is all I can do. I can’t do anymore than that. This being so, it is immaterial what the problem might be, or whether I can help or not in the sense of “fix that person so they can function according to societal standards at this time again.”

I know everyone wants healing to be physical healing. But I’m the soul guy. There aren’t enough of my kind about. Souls are really more important than their current physical bodies; and when they’re happy, or at least stop screaming for a bit, there’s more chance of physical changes as well.

As a mother yourself, do you have any suggestions for those who are having a hard time with parenthood? Or facing behavioural difficulties with their children?

Yes. De-stress and re-energize. The higher up towards +10 on the SUE scale you can go, the more “healing” you become to your environment, and the better your relationships become. And think of this not as a one time fix but like brushing your teeth. After every meal plus morning and night. With extra flossing. An ongoing process.

What’s your view on parents expressing their emotions in front of their children? (such as crying)

Whenever I hear the words “expressing emotions” I think of expressing oranges, or breast milk …

Seriously though, emotional honesty with children is … really, the 101 of having a meaningful relationship. Can you damage fragile children’s energy systems with emotional outbursts? Yeah, sure you can. Big time. But they won’t hate you for it and let you rot in an old people’s home or move to Australia when they grow up, not like the ones who have always been lied to will. That’s unforgivable, and thus it never is forgiven.

The best thing is to de-stress and re-energize, that makes then a good adult and a good role model. And if you’ve had a freak out, don’t beat yourself up for it. Do EFT or whatever, apologize to the kid if necessary, explain yourself and promise you’ll do better in future LOL.

So many people struggle with their self-view and how they feel about their bodies and themselves, do you have any advice or suggestions on how they might overcome this?

This is a very important issue, so much so that I gave a day’s lecture on the topic and made an energy therapy for body image called BeautyT

The thing to remember is that low self esteem, struggle, negative emotions are all stress susceptible. The more stressed a person is, the worse all of it becomes and it all lifts when stress recedes and the energy body becomes re-energized, starts to work again like the creator intented it to work.

Watch your stress levels first of all and if you think, “My god I’m hideous!” take it for an indicator that you’re clearly very stressed and need to take some energy action.

For body image problems that are related to traumas and sometimes also Guiding Stars, I advise to seek an experienced EFT or EmoTrance or MET practitioner and work on it.

Feeling bad about your body is a bad thing. It can ruin a person’s sex life.

Do you have a ritual by way of energy work, such as a morning prayer/meditation, energy self-defense, evening EmoTrance workout?

No. I go with the flow.

What makes you feel alive?

A tooth ache! Just kidding … Being alive is not something I tend to forget. I’ve had a number of near death experiences, I guess that sort of teaches you the difference.

What grounds you?

I feel like I’ve been permanently grounded ever since I arrived on Planet Earth! I take every opportunity to go higher that presents itself. Gravity takes care of the rest …

What is a typical day like for you?

Very exciting. Containing all sorts of different emotions. Lots of laughs. And a whole lot of very sensuous experiences in the widest possible metaphorical sense 🙂

What is the best tip you have for manifesting a success/goal/money/love? And what have you manifested personally?

Best tip is to aim high. Really, really high. If you start a band, don’t dream about playing down the local working man’s club. Dream about centre stage at Glastonbury instead. And keep that in mind as you go through the daily grind. Use it to uplift and inspire you.

I manifested a silver Mercedes Benz for practice at one time. That was interesting.

Energetically speaking, why do people experience depression?

No energy flow. Often not because they’re not being given energy, but because they’re not processing it. And they’re not outputting any energy. Which is why cats can help, they draw energy from people and eat it. Strange creatures that they are.

Do you believe it’s necessary to feel some low moments in life in order to enjoy the highs?

No. That’s a ridiculous idea. It’s like saying you have to eat shit in order to appreciate a good curry.

Do you feel that some people are born with natural talents or skills in things such as psychic ability?

My jury is still out on the nature/nurture debate.

Do you believe in: ghosts? aliens? fairies? politicians?

If I stop believing in them, will they go away and leave me alone?

What is your dream by way of energy awareness and the modern world? How would you like things to be?

I’d like for everyone to understand what emotions are and how they work. That would change everything. It does change everything, every time another person has that OMG moment when they understand they’re not really crazy after all.

What do you say to skeptics?

See ya later, alligator.

What frustrates you?

That I didn’t know what I know now when I was 14. (But an alternate timeline is under way in Sanctuary as we speak …)

What makes you laugh?

Monty Python and Father Ted.

What’s next for Silvia Hartmann?

Don’t know. We’ll have to wait and find out … 🙂

I’m in the unusual position, working in this day and age, that I publish my findings as they happen, live, as it were, rather than at the end of a 40 career in academy as it used to be the case. And I love being surprised by what I find. I think I’ve snuck that into my enquiry set ups at the baseline. I’m going to keep doing what I do and look forward to the next surprise. 

Anything else you’d like to share?

Yes. I am extremely grateful to be alive at this specific time in the history of the world, and in this place I’m in. Especially being a woman, there would be no way I could do the things I do in the Renaissance, in Ancient Rome or in Afghanistan, for that matter.

Praise be!

Loving My Children, Completely

Yesterday I created an energy habitat for my ‘food mojo’. I was presented with a simple image of a meal of wholesome and fresh food over a family lunch with my parents. I was touched by how good this had felt. I felt looked after, loved, and cared for.

From this simple habitat I had a significant realisation, however. Those familiar with the concept of the Five Love Languages might recognise that my Quality Time and Acts of Service ‘love tanks’ were given attention by the event of this meal. I thought about my own children and how sometimes I am not even sitting with them for their meals. I am savouring their distraction and the subsequent silence and cleaning the kitchen or preparing things for their bath, or reading an email. And with my ‘food mojo’ issue and disinterest in cooking, I am neglecting both of these love languages. And the other languages are not getting a significant look-in either. I love my children, but do they feel it? Am I giving it in ways that they can feel? Are their love tanks filling from their interactions with me? Sadly, I don’t think so. I thought about other relationships too and felt a heavy sadness as well as my stress levels rising. I was failing my kids, failing as a mother and as a person going through the world where love is essentially all there is and the best part about being alive and feeling.

This was a heavy realisation, yet something I’d been aware of (to some degree) for awhile. I had brushed it aside as me ‘just not being a nurturing kind of person’. As I have recently shifted some significant stressors with EFT, I had the capacity to give this attention, where before it was just one of many things I had intended to look at more closely in the future. This is also most likely a period of PMS for me which may be why this is so clearly in my face. (I have posted my thoughts on my Facebook page here) I feel virtually forced to give this attention. Ah the joys of being an energetically sensitive woman!

Some of this may well be ‘mother’s guilt’ but decided that giving the issue attention wasn’t going to hurt anyone and may do positive things in the meantime.

So after the food mojo habitat, I made my children a meal for dinner and was conscious of putting some love and care into it (versus slapping together ingredients) and both of them rejected it and refused to eat it. And it was something they’d eaten before. I was so angry. I instantly regretted putting ‘myself’ into this meal and being so open, feeling a hurt in my heart. Which I tapped for.

I decided to use a method of EFT where you treat several somethings as an energetic entity. You can use this method for a business or any group of people, such as “the clients” or “my students” or “the train company”. The aim being to improve the energetic relationship. I visualised an entity and where this was located. I saw myself holding my two children at arm’s length, to the right hand side of my body, and knew they were trying to get to my heart. My heart was protected by a layer of bubble wrap. I tapped for the bubble wrap.

The bubble wrap is off and what remains is thick layer of cling wrap over my heart and I see that instead of being held firmly at arm’s length, my arm had relaxed and bended, allowing them closer. I tap for “A safety net” because that’s what the cling wrap feels like. A layer between them and me and keeping myself ‘safe’. While tapping for this, I feel that I am preparing myself to be more vulnerable with them. But I’m not quite there yet.

I decide to tap for “This safety net” again. The entity is in my arms now. My two children, one on either side. There is a resistance there. An awkward and stiff hug. I’m not relaxing into it. To clarify, I don’t have problems in reality hugging my children, but as an energetic representation of our connection, I have problems ‘letting them in’ and this is how it is presented in the vicinity of my energy.

Considering what I feel I am on the verge of here, I began to feel my stress levels rising. I tapped for “stress” and “calm”, and reminded myself that it’s ONLY ENERGY.

I tapped for “I let go of fear”. When I consider the entity I see that I am melting into the hug a little more now. There is still some resistance. I tap for “I allow myself to trust”. I am feeling lighter and warmth at the heart. I tap for “I love openly and without hesitation or condition”, which triggers an emotional release, but there is still *something* there, still something in the way. I feel frustrated with myself!

I tap again for “stress”. And then “Love”. There is energetic improvement here but I’m still waiting for the ‘hit’; the moment where I recognise/feel that I have touched on the right issue which will unlock everything. This is where an EFT practitioner helps, because I am too close to the issue here and can’t see the forest for the trees. A practitioner is on the outside and could make suggestions that I may not willingly come up with on my own (for a number of reasons, fear being a big one).

Saying and feeling “I am too close to the issue” reminds me of another protocol I could use here, which is the Aspect Model. Treating parts of me contributing to things as a separate person, rather than something that I had done or felt or experienced. Perfect for situations like this where I might be preventing a healing event. The aspect symbol (a triangle – as per The Genius Symbols) has been coming up frequently in habitats for me if you haven’t noticed! I feel silly for not using it already for this.

  • There is an aspect of me that feels vulnerable when she lets someone into her heart.
  • There is an aspect of me that equates vulnerability with pain.
  • There is an aspect that feels like she will lose herself if she gives herself in love.
  • There is an aspect of me that is scared of being hurt.

So I tap for these women. I tap for them and give them love and acknowledgement. I give attention to what they believe to be true without judgement or analysis. And of course it’s emotional. Of course it makes me cry. And of course it feels like a weight has been lifted from me when I am finished.

I think about loving my children and letting them in, completely and without reservation, and there doesn’t feel like there is anything in the way anymore. It doesn’t feel like it was ever something I struggled with. I go back to the entity situation and I see her embracing them so closely and so completely that they become her, absorbed within her energy. I see her energy rise and fill, a glow emanating from her heart, and pink energy flutters outward and upward from her crown, much like butterflies. That version of me has her arms open outward, a pink glow around her whole body and a golden glow from her heart.

This feels like a relief to me. I tap for “Love” again for good measure. This feels light and bubbly and tickly.

I don’t know if other aspects will present themselves but I welcome them and allow them forward and feel positive about a future where I’m not afraid to love completely.

Stress And The Energy Body

What’s The Big Deal About Energy Body Stress?

What does stress mean to you? Some examples that come to my mind:

Clenched fists, tense jaw, tight shoulders, pacing the room, screaming, wanting to tear hair out/punch something or someone, crying, wanting to hurt oneself, panic attack, temper tantrums, making mistakes trying to do something too quickly, finding it hard to sit and pay attention, having to re-read things several times before they absorb, not being able to sit still, breathing shallowly, faster pulse.

All of those things are symptoms of stress, and I’m sure there are many more. As well as those isolated symptoms, some mental/emotional disorders can have stress as a contributor. With heightened stress, the physical body is under strain and the energy body is also under strain.

As an energist, I’m here to talk about the energy body only. In energy terms we feel the world through a layer of stress and we may respond to this stress layer rather than be able to see the genuine issues. We act irrationally as far as the outside world is concerned, but very rationally indeed if the stress layer was our true reality. And at those points in time, the stress to our energy bodies is so BIG and surmounting that it may as well be real.

Stress doesn’t only affect ourselves. It has flow-on effects to all of our relationships and experiences. Our parent-child relationships, client-professional relationships, how we drive, how we work, how we live, how we sleep and how we learn.

The potential for energy body stress to fuck up our lives is HUGE. This is why it is so important to be aware of it and give it attention and energy. I cannot express enough how much reducing energy stress alone (even with no other changes) could make a positive difference to our lives.

So What Can We Do?

We are not trapped in this state however, and heightened stress isn’t essential for a full life. De-stressing the energy body (with flow-on to the physical one) is as easy as using Emotional Freedom Technique and tapping for phrases such as ‘Stress’ itself, or ‘Calm’, ‘Peace’, ‘Relax’.. any word that has the impact of relaxing you. The simpler the better. Tap along to my video using the word or phrase of your choice at each point. You can tap to de-stress at any time and any occasion: In the car at the side of the road after a near-miss, in the toilet at a dinner party with someone you clash with, prior to a job interview. You can even tap silently with that pressing feeling of stress doing all the ‘talking’ for you, you don’t necessarily need to use words for EFT to work. Your thoughts and intentions speak volumes. Using words out loud is recommended for focusing if you are new to EFT however.

What Can I Do To Reduce Stress Levels In My (Family) Life More Permanently?
So what if you are tapping to de-stress multiple times a day and yet you’re still under the weight of stress and struggling in general? You might recognise for a moment that you feel better, but due to things that arise in your environment, or ongoing issues, you are back to feeling stressed soon after. The de-stressing absolutely assists in the heat of the moment, but it pays to look further into things rather than just keep skimming the top off the stress pile.

Consider these top 7 stressors in family life:

1. Sex life of alpha couple
2. General alignment of alpha couple on common goals and values
3. Money
4. Health/mental health concerns in the nuclear family
5. Social status/societal expectation/work
6. Family/social relationships (excluding nuclear family)
7. Long term worries (of any kind)

These things impacting us are likely to mean that when additional unpredictable stresses occur (the car breaks down, we’re running late for an appointment, we have a broken night’s sleep) that our coping ability is severely impacted and we are more likely to display one or more of the symptoms of stress above.

We are all different and are going to have our own histories and beliefs, however tools such as EFT cater for our differences and allow an individual path forward through these issues.

So look at each entry there in the list. How does the topic name itself make you feel? What does it remind you of? If you read it and feel positive and flowing energy, that’s fantastic! Go onto the next list item. BUT – if you read it and you think “Hmm maybe there’s something there..”, or feel any kind of tension, then go with that feeling and look at it further. What’s the ‘something’? Whatever resistance is there is going to benefit from attention and energy work.

Some of you may look at the list and instantly recognise what is probably impacting on your family, but may feel that the stressors in are unchangeable and therefore the ‘somethings’ and resistances are there to stay. You may feel defeated in terms of your lot in life and a little like “Why bother?”. To those people, I ask you this: What have you got to lose by focusing attention on these things and letting them evolve as they will? Anything that is true, real and permanent is not something that EFT or any other energy work can shift. In fact energy work is to help you to be your true self, without layers of energy disruptions in the way. So you literally have nothing to lose in the sense of who you are, your identity and your inner self. And what you gain is up to you! The process of tapping takes 2 minutes approximately and you may notice improvement in as little as one or two rounds of that.

Care to give yourself 2 minutes of loving attention that might just make your whole life easier?

It’s a very interesting experience and well worth the time. I would love to hear from you! I’ll be continuing to blog the journey of looking at my own stressors as part of improving my son’s behaviour and the feel of my household.

The Woman In The Mirror

Last night I asked my energy mind to help me with a parenting situation. This is what it presented to me.


I see a woman and she has a beautiful turquoise colour chunky beaded necklace on around her neck. It also has a stone pendant with a triangle symbol on it. I feel my energy body move and I see this woman move in the same way and from this I understand I am looking into a mirror and this woman is actually me.


She looks different than I do though. She is older and her hair is cut differently and a lighter colour. Wavy, light brown. But it’s still my face. I look older, far more peaceful though. I am happy, calm, and I have a nurturing motherly way about me. I can’t explain why, I just look more motherly than I feel I do now!

I suspect I am a grandmother now and even thinking about that makes me emotional and happy and start to tear up a little! There is a twinkle in her eye and my feeling is that her grandchildren are her world. This woman is so content.

She is giving me this information without talking. It is as if she is being watched and doesn’t want to ‘talk’ to me out loud. Or maybe I just know this information.. I feel it in my heart, and know that her son is now a young man, an adult, who has studied for a significant amount of time and is in a profession that has him standing up for others.  He might be a lawyer or a social worker or something like that.

Back to the real world and at my throat now I feel pain. A big lump of sadness. In reality my son is only two and it is a challenging time for both him and I, and I want to laugh for him having a future where he argues and asserts himself for a living! Yet I want to cry for not seeing him and these traits as acceptable and loveable and wondering if something I do now is going to have a flow-on effect. A negative one. I don’t want to deter this man-to-be from seeing the world as an exciting challenge, something he can master and succeed in. I don’t want to fail him or crush his spirit.

In the mirror I SEE him come up behind me. He is taller than me. In his 30s. Dark haired, clean shaven, gentle faced, warm smile. This man is my SON? This man is my SON! Wow. He puts his hands on my shoulders and leans in and kisses my right cheek. He tells me he loves me and how I always did my best for him. [cue the real me bawling her eyes out here.. 🙂 What a moment!]

But right now he’s got to go and he says goodbye and goes out. He leaves the house we are in through the front door. It is a light and airy house with lots of windows.  He goes out to his dark coloured sedan and drives off. I am at the door watching him go. My daughter is also outside and walks up to the front door where I’m standing. She has two little boys with her that run to me ahead of her. She wants a cup of tea with me and we go inside and we sit and we do just that. Maybe I’ll see more of her future self in time.

I feel so proud of my children and the adults they have become and the lives they have made for themselves. They want to be near me and are confident and happy in themselves. The home I have is relaxing and peaceful. *This* is SO what I want for us.

The Rain Storm of a Toddler

Yes I’m here again writing about yet another storm habitat relating to my 2.5 year old son. What a freaky coincidence… 😉

The habitat is a very strong wind and heavy rain pelting down on the aspect. It is not hot or cold, but the storm is preventing the aspect from getting anywhere. She can’t see where she’s going or what she’s doing. She is completely stuck, trapped by the severity of the storm, and can’t get anywhere. I use EFT to rescue our aspect and tap for “can’t get anywhere”.

The storm has died down and she can see ahead and there is a shed at the end of a jetty. She runs ahead, along the jetty and gets up to the shed. She’s a bit frantic and looking for shelter. She gets to the shed and it’s locked. She is devastated and cries in disappointment. She stayed there for awhile, not sure what to do as she was tired from running and fighting the storm. I tapped for “Don’t know what to do”.

The sun shone through the clouds at this point and the storm had passed! What remained was a gentle sunshower. The aspect was thrilled and when she turned around ready to walk back up the jetty, she saw that behind her, where she had begun, was in fact a beautiful scene of tall trees, flowering bushes, vines with raindrops on them making them look like sparkling gems. The aspect is smiling and feels great.

There are so many elements here – which is the beauty of these habitats. Even retyping this now I am seeing new things. New messages. New lessons. What’s your take?

The Snow Storm of a Toddler

I am trying to resolve issues with my 2.5 year old. I don’t want to fight with him but the simple act of deciding that he and I should go for a walk seems to be fodder for a fight as he refuses to get dressed, refuses to get shoes, begins throwing things etc. As all habitats are, there was a learning experience with what happened here.

So I created a habitat with the intention of it being a representation of his behaviour. It was a snow storm in the middle of winter. I can see tall trees. It is night time and winter. I’m cold but not freezing as I’m rugged up well, but my face is cold. I don’t want to be in the storm but can’t see where I was going. The snow and wind was whipping at my face. I tapped for “Can’t see where I’m going”. The storm reduces in severity enough that I can see ahead of me but is still there.

I’m able to see a light ahead and feel really positive heading towards it. I’m able to get to this cabin and go inside. The cabin is warm and brightly lit. I feel restless here. I have thoughts of there being a storm outside and “maybe I should be trying to get somewhere else”, but decide since I’m warm and dry and had supplies that I would stay.

On one hand I could see that perhaps I need to keep pushing through ‘the storm’ to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. The message might be to keep going, persist. But then the message might be to stop making it harder than it needs to be too. If things are fine enough, then don’t panic with the storm going on around me.

Through this habitat I had a lightning bolt moment: If I am shiny (see The Golden Girl)  and have my needs catered for, then I can weather ‘the storm’ that is the rough age of 2.5 years. Accepting where he is at (with his own struggles and frustrations) without fighting for something different.

The Girl in the Country

This was my first experience using energy habitats with a partner.

She described the habitat as: hot, sticky, dry dirt, a smell of ‘burnt dirt’. It is Summer, midday. The aspect sees dried trees, dirt, old houses, old cars rusting out the front of houses.

She described that the aspect felt angry and we tapped for this. After this she described that she felt ‘better’. There’s no change in the environment, still dirt roads and dry dirt. The aspect feels less angry, but feels as though she is unsupported. We tapped for “the aspect feels unsupported”. She said the aspect feels ‘good’. I felt hungry for some more emotive words but carried on.

She said in terms of the environment that the sun felt hotter to the aspect, and was burning her skin. The aspect wanted to go somewhere to cool down. She decides to go to the pool in the caravan park nearby. She goes for a swim. She feels lighter, better, happy to be away from the heat and the dirt.

The aspect is then thinking about the future and what it holds. She’s thinking about herself ageing, and ageing with family. The aspect is feeling “a new feeling of abandonment when the kids leave the nest”. She decides to tap for “The aspect won’t be abandoned”. I am thrilled by this choice of words.

The aspect is sitting outside the cabin she’s staying at at the caravan park. She’s feeling “better”. She’s now looking for a job that makes her feel happy. The aspect is thinking about her strengths and wants to use them in a job. Her strengths: helping to support others, looking after children. The aspect feels like this job will help “fill in the missing pieces”. I asked the aspect what’s missing? The aspect is missing family support, comfort, to be listened to, acknowledged.

We tap for “The aspect is comforted, heard and acknowledged”. I felt this may have been too many issues for one round but the practice partner had chosen this, so I went with it. Part of her may have had enough and the prospect of tapping for three different things (my suggestion) may have seemed like too much. We are tapping to give the aspect the missing pieces, to help her feel complete.

Afterwards the aspect feels better. There is acceptance according to the aspect. She is accepting her situation. The aspect is now sitting and daydreaming and there is nothing else bothering her. This is where we ended it.

I am happy with this given it was my first experience talking another person through energy habitat work. Even though I had hoped for a more significant healing event, considering how the aspect was at the beginning and how she ended, I felt it was a positive experience.