This is a fantastic application of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)! It means that if the subject matter is very sensitive or something that the client is ashamed of, or just plain doesn’t want to talk about, they don’t have to verbalise the specifics in order to heal from it. The point of healing isn’t to drag a person through the mud so to speak, just to get them feeling better – freedom from those dark or heavy feelings which have kept them stuck. Here is what happened:
A client, Mary, has a secret that was bothering her that she didn’t want to talk about it. With EFT we are able to focus on how this secret has her *feeling* to help resolve the emotional impact and have her feel at peace instead of troubled.
When I asked Mary how this secret makes her feel and where it’s held in her body, she said that her secret is felt in her heart and also her abdomen. She has a feeling of queasiness when she thinks about it. She feels conflicted regarding it. She described it as a feeling of love, but disgust at the same time. She feels shocked that she could think and feel the things that she did. She feels like she wants to get the secret out, but at the same time knows she never would because it would deeply hurt someone close to her unnecessarily. Logically she knows that with this secret, most people would shrug and see it as no big deal. She still feels guilty even thinking about it. She is finding it hard to forget and move on. Mary rated the energy of the issue as -8 on the SUE scale (where -10 is very strong negative feeling, +10 is very strong positive feeling and 0 is neutral).
The first phrase we tapped on for this secret was: “I feel sick”.
During the tapping, Mary found herself winding down rather quickly. Even her voice and saying “I feel sick” began firmly and turned to a whisper as she progressed. As she got to the end of the tapping she felt a sense of heaviness wash over her, it felt as though it was grounding her energy, despite the uneasiness and sickness trying to unsettle and scatter her.
Mary said she wasn’t expecting the EFT to work so quickly. After the tapping, she said she’d rate her feelings about the secret at a zero on the SUE scale. Mary described it as feeling “meh”: feeling nothing much in particular. She found herself questioning whether her secret was that big of a deal after all. This was great for one single round of tapping!
From here we decided to tap on a positive statement to get Mary beyond the zero point, relating to accepting herself in relation to the secret. We began with: “I love and accept myself.” After this second round, Mary felt that her feeling about the secret was perhaps +2 or +3. This was a subtle shift only, indicating there may be some further aspects of Mary’s issue or how she views herself needing attention.
Mary and I discussed the concept that the person who was involved in the secret was an ‘aspect’ of Mary, not the Mary in the here and now. And we revisited the aspect that was there, and looking at how she feels about her. When reflecting back on who that aspect was, Mary said she felt disgusted and disappointed in her. She was the person she’d always tried to avoid becoming. She did a lot of things during that time that she wasn’t proud of. It was a dark time for her.
She decided to tap on “I am a strong independent woman” with the intention of focusing on the person that she wants to become. Afterwards she said she had felt empowered throughout and felt her confidence rising with each breath and affirmation. She said she could feel herself rising on the SUE scale while tapping. Going from +3 to +8! We enhanced her affirmations slightly as we went, intuitively crafting statements. Such as “I am a strong independent woman.. and I can achieve my goals”, “I am a strong independent woman.. and I love myself”.
Mary is feeling very happy, relaxed and calm, and no longer burdened by her secret. When she tries to think about the secret, and tries to remember how it made her feel – she can’t! She just feels like it’s a simple memory from the past, not one with ill feelings attached. That it barely even rates a mention as a memory. It was just something that happened in her life.
Watch this video here to learn how to do a round of EFT (Energy EFT) yourself. EFT can definitely be done very effectively at home. Practitioners can further help by using their training to apply EFT in very specific ways and getting to the source of a problem effectively where tapping at home is not getting to the root of an issue.