EFT Case Story – Solving A Problem Without Talking About It

This is a fantastic application of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)! It means that if the subject matter is very sensitive or something that the client is ashamed of, or just plain doesn’t want to talk about, they don’t have to verbalise the specifics in order to heal from it. The point of healing isn’t to drag a person through the mud so to speak, just to get them feeling better – freedom from those dark or heavy feelings which have kept them stuck. Here is what happened:

A client, Mary, has a secret that was bothering her that she didn’t want to talk about it. With EFT we are able to focus on how this secret has her *feeling* to help resolve the emotional impact and have her feel at peace instead of troubled.

When I asked Mary how this secret makes her feel and where it’s held in her body, she said that her secret is felt in her heart and also her abdomen. She has a feeling of queasiness when she thinks about it. She feels conflicted regarding it. She described it as a feeling of love, but disgust at the same time. She feels shocked that she could think and feel the things that she did. She feels like she wants to get the secret out, but at the same time knows she never would because it would deeply hurt someone close to her unnecessarily. Logically she knows that with this secret, most people would shrug and see it as no big deal. She still feels guilty even thinking about it. She is finding it hard to forget and move on. Mary rated the energy of the issue as -8 on the SUE scale (where -10 is very strong negative feeling, +10 is very strong positive feeling and 0 is neutral).

The first phrase we tapped on for this secret was: “I feel sick”.

During the tapping, Mary found herself winding down rather quickly. Even her voice and saying “I feel sick” began firmly and turned to a whisper as she progressed. As she got to the end of the tapping she felt a sense of heaviness wash over her, it felt as though it was grounding her energy, despite the uneasiness and sickness trying to unsettle and scatter her.

Mary said she wasn’t expecting the EFT to work so quickly. After the tapping, she said she’d rate her feelings about the secret at a zero on the SUE scale. Mary described it as feeling “meh”: feeling nothing much in particular. She found herself questioning whether her secret was that big of a deal after all. This was great for one single round of tapping!

From here we decided to tap on a positive statement to get Mary beyond the zero point, relating to accepting herself in relation to the secret. We began with: “I love and accept myself.” After this second round, Mary felt that her feeling about the secret was perhaps +2 or +3. This was a subtle shift only, indicating there may be some further aspects of Mary’s issue or how she views herself needing attention.

Mary and I discussed the concept that the person who was involved in the secret was an ‘aspect’ of Mary, not the Mary in the here and now. And we revisited the aspect that was there, and looking at how she feels about her. When reflecting back on who that aspect was, Mary said she felt disgusted and disappointed in her. She was the person she’d always tried to avoid becoming. She did a lot of things during that time that she wasn’t proud of. It was a dark time for her.

She decided to tap on “I am a strong independent woman” with the intention of focusing on the person that she wants to become. Afterwards she said she had felt empowered throughout and felt her confidence rising with each breath and affirmation. She said she could feel herself rising on the SUE scale while tapping. Going from +3 to +8! We enhanced her affirmations slightly as we went, intuitively crafting statements. Such as “I am a strong independent woman.. and I can achieve my goals”, “I am a strong independent woman.. and I love myself”.

Mary is feeling very happy, relaxed and calm, and no longer burdened by her secret. When she tries to think about the secret, and tries to remember how it made her feel – she can’t! She just feels like it’s a simple memory from the past, not one with ill feelings attached. That it barely even rates a mention as a memory. It was just something that happened in her life.

Watch this video here to learn how to do a round of EFT (Energy EFT) yourself. EFT can definitely be done very effectively at home. Practitioners can further help by using their training to apply EFT in very specific ways and getting to the source of a problem effectively where tapping at home is not getting to the root of an issue.

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How I Got To See My Deceased Cat Again

The contents of the energy mind cost nothing to access and use, yet experiences like these are priceless. Thank you for reading and enjoying these personal experiences.

I drop into Sanctuary tonight with the intention of revisiting with a particular old friend. My cat who died in June 2009. I leave the door to my cabin slightly ajar. I can hear crickets chirping and it is a dark night with twinkling stars. It is a little cold and I shiver as I walk in a long cotton nightgown and pull back my covers and lay down in bed, pulling my bed covers back over me. They are soft and have some weight to them tonight, heavier than usual. I feel comforted and the bed is soft underneath me too.

The cabin is dark and still and I hear a slight creak of the wooden door. I look over and I see my old friend, Itten, a tabby cat. He looks up at me with such a happy expression and leaps up onto the bed, purring and walking back and forth and in circles. I am so happy to see him again and give him all the pats and love that I have. I tell him I have missed him and he pushes his cat face against my chin.

He eventually calms down, walks in circles beside me and finds himself a comfy place there. His fur is so soft just like I remember it to be. I want to communicate with him here but I’m not sure how. I pat his head and run my hand down his back and tell him how sorry I am that things were so messy when he died. I was very stressed at the time and I begin to explain and he swipes me with one paw as if to tell me to stop. I am sensing communication from him (intuitive) and it is “That doesn’t matter. Things happened how they were supposed to. I had to go, it was time for me to go. You didn’t cause it to happen, it was predestined and my time was up.” I nod and give him more pats.

I ask him if he has seen my son who (in ‘the hard’) I was pregnant with at the time he died. I wanted to know in some way whether he had got to see him. He laughed, in a cat way, which is really hard to explain, but he laughed and said “He is great, a bundle of energy, we would have got along well”, and I agreed with him. He is saying that my son would benefit from a cat in the house and he is giving me a mental image of a black cat with yellow eyes and subtle white markings, as if that is the cat for my son.

I ask him if he minds the fact that there are chickens in his old cat house now. He is showing me himself in the cat house, as though he is still there in his old form yet looking on in approval.

I ask him what his favourite thing was about his life with us. He says “you” and shows me a zillion mental images of him sitting beside me on the couch, on the bed, being patted, being talked to, being played with. He rests his chin on me and closes his eyes. He loved me so very much it is undeniable.

I ask him if he has a question for me. He asks why did I not like him sometimes. And I remember yelling at him for being persistent with ‘asking’ for food, annoying me when I was trying to do something, being all over me sometimes. I tell him that I’m sorry that I didn’t think of how he might feel for me to be like that, but that I did always LIKE him, that I always loved him in fact. I ask him what I could have done instead and he said that I could have just been kinder about it, calmer about it, nicer about it. I agree with him. And as we are sitting there and I am patting him, I am overcome with a feeling of peace, as though something big has just happened, shifted, lifted, changed. And before my eyes he turns into gold sparkles which disappear and then he is gone.

And I’m not sad about it even though I would have liked for him to stay. I know that he’s not gone forever.

EFT Case Story – Healing from an abusive relationship

A very raw account of the process of healing an issue related to being in an abusive relationship. After over 10 years of carrying this pain with her, she was able to let it go in four rounds of tapping, using Emotional Freedom Technique. You can contact me at DogRoseHealing@gmail.com to arrange your own session.

My client, Rebecca (not her real name), described that she repeatedly found herself getting anxious, angry and aggressive in situations of conflict instead of being able to talk calmly. She was able to relate it back to a situation in her past where her boyfriend at the time had been aggressive towards her.

I used Forensic EFT with Rebecca to help her source the details. Her energy has remembered the event:

  • Where are you? At our apartment
  • What time of day is it? Daytime
  • What year is it? 2001
  • Where in the apartment are you? In the entry way to the study
  • What are you doing? Trying to leave for work
  • What is he doing? Hiding my keys from me so I can’t leave, blocking my way so I can’t go
  • How are you feeling? Angry, scared, trapped, embarrassed. I have to call my work and tell them I’l be late, but I am in tears. I’m crying. I hate him. I feel embarrassed for being with him as my boyfriend and allowing him to treat me like this.
  • What happens then? I want to hit him, and I do. And I hate myself for being just as much of an asshole as he is to me. He hits me back and then drags me by my hair and then I am on the floor and he kicks my stomach and I am on the bedroom floor crying and he is gone and I am winded and hurting. My cat is watching me from where he is hiding in the closet (scared) and looks concerned and I feel like I have to put on a brave face for him.
  • How would you rate it from -10 to +10? This is -10!

As this is a highly emotive situation to process we use the Aspect Model to give some emotional distance. We decide for Rebecca to tap for “the aspect that hated herself”. Rebecca described her as the one that kept her with someone so awful, the one that hated herself even more after lashing out in a situation she shouldn’t have even ended up in if she had any self-respect. Rebecca said she was so angry at this girl for being there. “She deserved so much better,” Rebecca said, “Why couldn’t she see!!” Rebecca is crying and says that she hasn’t thought about the issue or felt things so clearly since it happened.

After that round Rebecca and I discuss and decide to tap on “the aspect that loved him”. As much as he was unpleasant, there were things that had her enthralled. He made her laugh, he was passionate, assertive, affluent, at times gentle and helpless, desperate for care and attention. There were things that kept that aspect of Rebecca entertained and interested. There were things that she also thought she could change about him, which was an exciting challenge for her. Rebecca says that she feels sick after this round of tapping. Sick in the stomach and a burning like reflux in the throat.

Rebecca talks more with me about this aspect and feels how that aspect should have packed her bags then and there instead of staying for another few years with this loser”. She says: “I feel like I am right there yelling at her to get up and just go while he’s not looking, then somehow get home to her parents’ house, no matter what they say or think about you. I know she is feeling like she doesn’t matter, like life isn’t worth living. She is seeing a GP for depression and I want to shake her so she can see that she isn’t depressed, that there’s nothing wrong with her, that she just has been worn down by being with this awful guy.”

We tap for “the aspect that should have left him”.

When Rebecca thinks back to the situation again, thinking about the aspect that was laying hurt on the floor, she feels that the aspect is brighter and stronger within herself. She recognises that she has some courage and hope again. Rebecca says “I want her to feel supported because I know she wasn’t at the time and the embarrassment comes from a sense of trying to prove herself. Going home or to a friend with her tail between her legs would have admitted failure or defeat and it doesn’t feel like an option. She feels unwanted in general even with that sense of hope. She doesn’t feel like she belongs anywhere at all.”

We decide to tap for “The aspect that felt unsupported”. Rebecca described how she was very emotional during this round of tapping. She said she could easily imagine the aspect get up and go out the door and she kept feeling “She is free, and I am free”. Rebecca was crying but when she was more composed, described how this “feels incredible!”. “He can’t hurt her anymore and the event doesn’t matter anymore, it is gone.”

Rebecca was feeling great and after so many years she was wondering if she could test this issue to see if it were resolved. Whether she would still automatically respond with anger or aggression when faced with conflict. I suggested she take herself back to the moment when she felt like hitting her partner. She said that when she tried to hit him that she felt “energetically barred” from doing so. The aspect of Rebecca at that time is saying “You don’t matter” and is calm, controlled and happy in herself even though he is being offensive and antagonising.

Rebecca describes this as +10 on the SUE scale.

After our session Rebecca contacted me to let me know that she was able to recognise in situations where she might normally have felt aggressive, that she was able to remain calm and the aggression just did not come. It was no longer available as an option for her. She is thrilled by what EFT has done for her!

Between Mother and Child

I see a cane basket with a white blanket within it. Laying in this cane basket is a chubby little pink-skinned baby. She is fair, not much hair but what is there is light coloured. She is outside under trees. Palm trees. The basket rests on a grassy area, from which you can see the ocean 100 metres away.

The sun is out today but here under trees it produces a gentle warmth, and there is a soft breeze blowing. Waves are crashing onto the sand in a regular rhythm. The occasional seagull squawks as it passes.

I see billowing white fabric and a woman appears in the scene who has a flowing white dress on and at least one silver bracelet on her left arm. It is plain but has detailing like loops in the bracelet.

I see her arms reaching out and she picks up this baby. I’ve no doubt she is the mother, I see that there is a mother-child bond between them. I know that they have chosen each other. The baby is content and is happy to be held and they are both bright, light and enthusiastic about each others company. The mother has a big smile on her face.

She carries her baby over to a blue and white hammock suspended between two palm trees. Carefully she sits down on the hammock and then lays down with her baby in her arms. The hammock swings slowly in the gentle breeze and after awhile, the baby falls asleep. Her breathing heavy and her body relaxed in her mothers arms.

While the baby is sleeping the mother soaks in the beauty of this little being and marvels at her plump lips and her smooth skin and the curve of her eyelashes. The breeze moves the thin hairs on her head a little. For this woman, nothing else matters at this moment and time seems to stand still. Her heart is so full with love for this little being.

With a deep breath, she closes her own eyes and soon they are asleep together, hearts in sync, swaying in the breeze, nothing else mattering.

This Little Boy

For Lucy

~~~~

I am walking down a long path in what seems to be a park or a garden. Above me and on both sides of me are beautiful cherry blossom trees. Their dark branches reaching up and their pink flowers sitting delicately on their branches. It is a sunny afternoon and as I am walking I feel the warmth of the sun filter through the trees and onto my skin.

I look down to my right and holding my hand is a little boy. He is walking with me too. He looks up to me, squinting a little in the sun, and smiles. This is my son. He is here with me and enjoying this moment, this walk, this day. He has a little skip in his step and I’m not sure if it’s because he is happy and excited or he just wants to keep up with my grown-up steps. I love him and his little squint and his little skip and his little fingers and his little nose. I love him so much that my heart hurts trying to carry all the love in there that wants to overflow for him and keep him holding my hand forever.

Ahead I see a little brown bird at the base of one of the trees at the side of the path. The little boy sees it too. He stops in his tracks and points towards the bird, a big grin on his face and sparkling eyes. The bird is moving around in hops which makes the boy chuckle. The bird keeps hop, hop hopping and the chuckle becomes a squeal and then a belly laugh. My heart sings in seeing the joy in a plain old common brown bird’s movements simply because of this little boy.

The bird flies away with a chirp that has a sharp sound that remains and then fades after it is out of sight. And then it is silent.

I look to the boy and he is looking up at me. His lower lip protrudes slightly and his eyes moisten. He sniffs a few times and begins to cry.

I crouch down to his level and he wraps his arms around my neck and buries his head under my chin. His source of pure joy is gone in an instant, in all of the enjoying, and he is sad and he is feeling it. Unabashedly.

I sit down more comfortably, leaning my back against one of the cherry blossoms. His crying has quietened down but he is happy to stay in a big cuddle. And so am I. So there we sit.

We sit while dog walkers and cyclists go by. We sit while stirrings of impatience, schedules and ‘should’s bubble up from within me and then evaporate from my skin. We are happy here, calm here, resting here, relaxing here. We need nothing else and no one else right now.

The cherry blossoms are watching over us and we are safe, happy and content. I breathe deeply and contentedly. A single cherry blossom flower floats down from above and lands on the little boy’s hair. I notice that he has fallen asleep in my arms. I love this little boy.