It is so inspiring to see many motivational posters, quotes and images coming up in my Facebook news feed lately. People are writing and liking and sharing messages of positivity, letting go and manifesting the best version of ourselves and our lives. Awesome!
The downside of committing to being more positive and living in line with these messages is that there becomes a fear of giving attention to anything negative. We are becoming conditioned to focus ONLY on the positive, smile, be helpful, caring, selfless, stop and smell the roses, just being in this hectic world. Where does anything negative fit into that, if that negativity is what we’re troubled by? Can we just deny the negative stuff so it goes away? And does that work?
In comparison to affirmations, where we focus on positive statements only, the process of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) gives attention to the negative as well as the positive.
This can be hard for some people to take. I had a friend once complain about her son’s behaviour when she was clearly annoyed by it. I suggested she tap for “His voice is so grating!” (which is what she had said moments before) and she was horrified and refused.
“Wouldn’t giving attention to something bad make it worse? I’d rather just ignore it than give it attention!”
Surprisingly, no. It doesn’t make it worse. The reality is the opposite, in fact. When we use EFT in conjunction with a negative feeling, we give it room to evolve into something different so we can feel good again. I visualise the tapping action as an inspection along the meridian lines for anything relating to that negative feeling, calling it to the surface and allowing it the ability to process and shift!
I don’t believe that denying the feelings or trying to cover them up with positive ones does anything to the energy system unless we are engaging it with an energy therapy in conjunction.
Once you have tapped a round of EFT for something negative, the negative feeling reduces. But you do need to be prepared give it attention in order for that to happen. Facing it head on can be scary or intimidating, but it is a short term blip along the path of healing.
Aside from affirmations, there is running away, ignoring, trying to think yourself better, getting drunk or high.. those options don’t give the real problem attention, and so the problem remains.
Feeling good isn’t just about denying the bad.
Feeling good is letting the ‘bad’ surface for air so it can evaporate!
Don’t worry, good practitioners aren’t going to think badly of you if you tap with them for how much you hate your child (or husband, mother, family, life, brain, uterus, left breast etc). Because we know that the hate is a temporary energy blockage, not the truth of the situation or of yourself. We know that the hate needs to shift before you have room for love (here’s an example of this in action).
How do you love someone while hating them? How do you feel positive when you’re annoyed? Reading all the motivational posters in the world cannot change those feelings until you engage the energy body. This is why things like EFT work so well, we are working at the source of the feeling, not trying to change it with our brain or willpower.
If you’d like a session with me to shift your own hatred or negative stuff, email me to arrange. I am very happy to work via Skype!