Transforming anger into love, with the help of a cough

The cough

My daughter is coughing a lot in her bed tonight. I was enjoying myself and relaxing and now every time I hear her cough I feel like punching something. I’ve given up on the relaxing thing that I was doing because I just couldn’t relax while hearing it! And now I’m angry. And uncomfortable about feeling angry too because I know it’s not her fault. It’s totally one of those irrational things = energy reversals.

What on earth is contributing to this feeling? It’s just a cough.. An intermittent, unproductive, open mouthed “UH HAH HAH HAH” cough that is uncomfortable to hear. 😦

Now my son is still awake after being put to bed 2 hours ago after having been very badly behaved all day. Can’t a woman get a break?!? He keeps opening and closing his door with creak of the doorknob and a thud each time. He knows he’s meant to be in bed asleep but of course wants to know what’s going on with the rest of the world.

My husband is out at the gym. Half his luck!

So where do I begin?

This anger.. it’s pretty much equal with hearing the cough and hearing the door thuds.  I would say I’m either -7 or -8 on the SUE scale. I’m pissed off, so that’s what I’ll tap for – “Pissed off!“. I may or may not have thrown in an F word in there too at some point during that round.

So I can’t hear my son anymore, but my daughter is still coughing. I feel less affected, less angry. I’d say I’m around -3. I’m sad that she’s coughing and confused why, feeling helpless. I also don’t know what my son’s problem is and why he is still awake 2 hours after bedtime. I wonder if it’s related to us enforcing a nap today, since he was so crazy-naughty, and my anger is rising again. But it’s around -5 rather than where it was. And more of a frustration than an anger. A feeling like “I can’t win” (son) and “What am I meant to do?!” (daughter).

I tap for “Frustrated and helpless“. I’m probably around -1 or 0 now. Much more apathetic. I’m wondering why she is coughing and what I can possibly do about it. I get distracted looking at cough remedies and forget that I was even tapping.

The coughing has stopped, for now. But I’d like to keep going with the tapping for at least a few more rounds.

ZZzzzzzzz…

I’m falling asleep at my laptop, I’m tired from a restless night last night as well as a long day. The fact that I am still ‘on duty’ is what I keep being reminded of. I. Am. Exhausted.

How would I like to feel instead of angry? Well if I’m honest, I don’t know why I’m not listening to myself and going to bed much earlier. If I have anyone to be angry with or frustrated with, it’s myself.

I’ve been going to bed late for so long and have tried to break the habit but it hasn’t worked. I am not making time for my own needs, and then when someone needs me MORE (cough cough… cough.. cough.. creak… thud.. cough.. thud) and I already feel like I have nothing left, it triggers a response like the above.

So.. I want to tap for “I’m ready to listen to my needs“. This is now probably a +2. It feels nice, a subtle positive feeling.

Then “I meet my needs“, which didn’t feel like it was affecting any change until I reached the tapping points on my hand and it became a sense of empowerment of knowing what I need and acting on it and resulting in a more positive sense of balance. I would rate the feeling at +6 now.

I want to tap for something that cements that meeting my needs allows me to meet others’ needs, but nothing snappy came to mind. What does come to me intuitively while I’m wondering what to tap for is:

I love myself first so I have love to give others“.

I get a little teary at just how much this resonates. It is just perfect. I tap for this and I’m feeling at least +8 now. Blissfully sleepy. Ready to put myself to bed because I’m tired and I need to sleep.. and need to care for my babies tomorrow who might be more tired than usual themselves.

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Finding My Truth In The Field

It is a Spring day, around 4pm. I am standing in a large field of grass. The grass is waist height and has soft cotton tops on reeds throughout. A gentle breeze is blowing the reeds and grass and making a hush noise.

I am walking slowly through this grass. Knowing that I am safe and free. I have nowhere else that I need to be. No one is needing me to do anything for them. The world apart from this field might as well be frozen in place. I have ll the time in the world and there is no one waiting or watching. I am completely free to be me, and I feel a strength that is beginning to grow and get larger: My strength in knowing and believing that all that I am is enough, is amazing, is unique, and is special. I know that my truth is waiting for me to express it, and that I am able to let go of any fears, restrictions or hesitations.

I know that any reactions to the truth of my being belong to someone else and not me. That my job as a loving, feeling, and sensing human being is to be ME and nothing less!

I give myself permission to be the best possible me that I can be, and I allow that to shine through with peaceful radiance.

I take three deep breaths in this field. The hush of the grass soothing and supporting me through any difficulties.

A few metres away I see someone approaching. I recognise that they are a guide and they have only pure and the highest positive intentions for me. They are here just for me and offer their utmost support in my expression of truth, allowing the tattered rags that I had been hiding under to fall away. Just their presence is enough to keep me feeling energised and fearless. They share with me their thoughts and encouragement and a moment of connection. They smile and I know that I am ready.

I look up to the sky. I take in a deep, nourishing breath. I look down and I realise that I am above the field and I have wings that are keeping me in the air. My guide waves to me and I look to the horizon, and off I fly. Glistening in the afternoon sun as I head unwaveringly forward to a new life of my own.

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“It was real and I was really there!”

A friend of mine has had her own ‘world’ available to her as for as long as she can remember. It is only that I started talking about energy habitats that she realised that other people don’t have this as constant as she does. It is a place that she can drop in and out of, and feels safe and peaceful and relaxed. It seems she has passed on this trait to her child who brought up the subject out of the blue. They had this gorgeous conversation during a car trip and she shared it with me:

Mummy, sometimes when I go to bed I have adventures!

Do you? That sounds exciting!

It is! Do you know where I went in my adventure last night?

No, where did you go?

I went up into space! And I was floating. And there were wavy things that felt tickly. It was hard to see though because it was very dark.

Oh wow! What else did you see?

Um, I had a rocket ship that took me there. And I could see the wavy things that were soft, they looked funny.

What an awesome adventure.

It was! Is it a dream, Mum?

It could be. What do you think?

No, I think it was real and I was really there!

That’s great. How did it feel to be in space?

It felt good and happy and like a big hug.

Drifting in Space

I talked a client/friend through creating a habitat to represent their life. I knew that they were at a crossroads of sorts and hoped that this might help them to decide what to do. This is an example of how you can’t plan how these things will go, and also how things that seem to not be going anywhere are actually unfolding gently.

Their habitat was darkness. Just dark space. Not scary, just dark. No particular time just dark and quiet. There are no stars, just dark space. The aspect is just sitting on a comfortable chair. They have ‘no feelings at all’. The aspect does not feel any need to do anything at all but sit.

I will admit that I felt a little stuck here as the practitioner and guide. I said: “Okay so a day passes in space and it’s a new day. More days pass. What is our aspect up to?”

Still the aspect is still floating through space. More days pass. One hundred days pass and I wonder whether the aspect wants light, wants to move, anything?

No, the aspect is happy to sit in peace. It’s a comfortable place.

Is there anything in that place they can see or are they feeling any sensations on their body?

Nothing. Totally alone. Comfortable drifting along where they are being taken.

Another 100 days pass. Our aspect is still cosy, calm, comfortable, not in a hurry to go anywhere, just drifting.

So I suggested that we tap for ‘drifting’. The aspect is still happy to sit and enjoy the peace. She looks around and she can see some stars now. It is a beautiful dark sky with stars and peaceful to look up at the stars from the comfy chair. The aspect feels relaxed. She is happy to take in their beauty.

I wonder if there are any blocks to feeling emotions at all or feeling with regards to rapport with myself, as the habitat wasn’t matching the situation. We tap for ‘feeling’. After this the aspect is feeling at peace and happy within.

I admitted that this was not turning out as I had expected and that I was curious what was happening. I asked the client if they understood a correlation of what their aspect was going through in relation to their real life situation.

The client talked about how when she sees stars at night that she is struck by their beauty but also by the fact that due to how light travels that they may be twinkling as far as we can see but may have burnt out (died) and we wouldn’t know it for some time. She supposed that perhaps she had been looking at something for a long time that hadn’t been there and she hasn’t seen it.

She admitted that this was the most challenging thing she was going through in her life: Believing something had existed and was real, yet had it be proven to be false all along.

So while it seemed  that nothing was happening, a small unfolding revealed something quite significant to her.

It wasn’t long after this habitat session that this client began a gentle process of moving forward in her situation.