Call your problem into the room with you to evolve it

Using energetic entities are a fantastic method of tackling a problem which seems too big, or has a life of its own, especially with relationships. And given that between a person and their beliefs, lovers, friends, foods, concepts, belongings, goals, money, etc is always an energetic relationship – we have a very powerful tool on our hands!

Using EFT in conjunction tackles the problem to the ground… or rather, draws them into our spirit and makes peace with them, resolving the issue.

It might sound a little ‘out there’, but it’s super easy, will you do it with me?

Step-by-step to using an entity for self-healing:

  1. Consider a problem you currently have. Hopefully you can think of something. Whether it’s an interpersonal tension or just something you’re struggling with. Got it in mind?
  2. Now ask yourself: If that problem was in your space, where would it be? Point to it. Maybe it’s a few metres away. Maybe it’s quite close. That’s your entity and that’s what we’re working with.
  3. What does that entity look like. How does it make you feel? I had a woman who had communication difficulties in her marriage describe her husband entity as a green alien-like creature. I had another woman describe her inability to orgasm as a ball of light trapped in an iron cage. I’ve seen difficult relationships as spiky balls, grey mists, pink mists. Maybe they look like a person, maybe energy, maybe an object. There’s no right or wrong. Just go with what presents for you.

    An example of an entity (from Dr. Silvia Hartmann)

  4. So then we use EFT to evolve that feeling and that entity, we want to improve the issue and improve our energy flow about this entity and problem. Tap along with my silent video now (it takes 3 minutes! I hope you have 3 spare minutes to help yourself feel good) and on each point say a phrase or word relevant to your entity. eg. “Trapped in a cage”, “Alien that creeps me out”, “Cold spiky ball”.
  5. Now that you’ve tapped (I hope you did!), look at the entity again. Is it closer to you? Has it changed? What does it look like? How do you feel about it?
  6. Tap another round about it. Tap along with my video again, using what presents to you now. Maybe the spiky ball has softened. Maybe the alien is more human-like and is being affectionate. Maybe the cage has unlocked or the bars have melted. Maybe the changes are making you feel scared, anxious, nervous. Tap for these things. eg. “Scared and excited”, “Softer spiky ball”.
  7. Consider the entity again. It might be closer and it might be more welcome. How do you feel about it? Tap along with my video again for how you’re feeling now. The entity might be seeming lighter, nicer, more loveable. Go with that.
  8. You may need to do additional rounds of tapping based on the issue, but ultimately the entity comes closer and closer until it is absorbed into your energy. I have done this many many times myself and with other people and each one ended in this way. I see it as a reconnection of what was a displaced part of the energy system before. And it is a positive and beautiful feeling!
  9. How did you go? Comment below and share with me your experiences! Did you evolve your relationship with something? How do you feel now?

Five Prerequisites to Overcoming a Problem

Five Prerequisites to overcoming a problem

These are five typical things I’ve noticed that can come into play when people choose not to resolve their emotional and energetic issues. This establishes these things as important pre-requisites for feeling better.

1. Be sick of it. Be over it. Recognise it as a problem. Be tired of how it affects your life. Dislike it and be at a point where you are ready to do something about it. Example: “I’m sick of never going on holidays because of this fear of flying. I want to see the world and visit family and friends and I can’t. I’m tired of putting my dreams on hold due to fears.” vs. “I’m so scared of flying! But it’s fine, we’re going on a cruise for our honeymoon instead”.

2. Emotional awareness. You’re aware of how you feel and can recognise your emotions, good and bad. If you’re not feeling it, denying it or denying your feelings, then it’ll be harder to give attention to. Example: “If I could just not think about it, it would go away. I put everything in a little box in my heart where it can’t hurt me.” vs. “Every time I think about that moment when he told me he loved someone else, it feels like a knife digging into my heart. I was so hurt, and I still am.”

3. The pay-off is no better than the problem. The benefits that come from you having the problem (even if they are just self-perceived ones) are less worthy to you than not having the problem is. You’re ready to overcome your problem, regardless of what pluses it seems to give you.  Example: “I don’t want to smoke anymore. It’s always helped me relax, but I don’t want to die like my aunt” vs.  “One part of me thinks I should stop being so anxious about my son getting hurt or being taken from me, but the other part wonders how badly things would go if I stopped. And aren’t I supposed to worry, since I’m his mum? If I don’t worry, am I a good mum? I’ll be fine.”

4. Recognising the problem is something that can be improved upon. Understand that things like beliefs, fears, anxieties, phobias, addictions, worries, stresses, relationships (and more!) are all comprised of energy. Even some forms of pain or physical illness can be directly linked to energy, and therefore be (at the very least) evolved and therefore improved with energy therapies. Emotions are outward symptoms of energy shifts within us. Example: “I’m just a worrier by nature. It’s just who I am.” vs. “I thought it was normal to dislike my body with such hatred. But my friends say how much they love their bodies. Maybe it’s something I can do something about..”

5. Finding a fixer. Knowing tools or people who can help you overcome an issue. An energetic issue needs an energetic specialist. Example: Doing EFT at home, or finding an EFT or other energy therapy practitioner, contact someone like me. vs. doing nothing, and the issue remaining as it is.


EFT Case Story – Anxiety About Getting To The Toilet On Time

My client came to me with a problem that she had had for almost 20 years, which had taken over her life in many ways. Yet similarly she felt that this was a silly problem and she was frustrated at herself for having it.

In 1995 she had a change of diet which she found had upset her stomach badly. She was in her car, part of the way through a 1.5 hour journey, and recognised that she needed to get herself to a toilet very quickly, but could not due to being stuck in traffic. She felt anxious, was feeling “I can’t get out of this”, found her breath shallow and her legs trembling. She felt trapped and didn’t know what to do. She was able to turn back and make a change of journey and got to a toilet on time and experienced diarrhea.

Since this time, whenever she was faced with a situation of similar circumstances, she has suffered similar anxiousness. Expecting that she will have an accident, soil herself and wherever she is unless there is a toilet in close and reliable proximity. It has prevented her from being able to take spontaneous trips without being aware of toilet stops along the route. It affected a family holiday whereby she needed to stop along the way to the airport, and subsequently the family had missed their flight, costing money and causing her embarrassment and upset.

She would feel physical stomach upset in conjunction with the anxiousness and was tested for coeliacs disease before being referred to a psychologist. The psychologist assisted with self-talk and improving things in this way, but my client felt that she was having to be sure to plan ahead to avoid issues, that she was at many times not able to talk herself out of worrying about not making it to a toilet on time. She would only feel comfortable when there were clear ‘escape routes’. In times where there was no options she still found herself panicked and this panic was disrupting her life.

She was distressed by her issue and was very emotional when speaking about it. She received a lot of hugs and supportive words over the process of our session, as well as Emergency Essence drops. We began by tapping for “Calm” to de-stress.

She rated her strength of feeling about her issue as -9 on the SUE scale (where -10 is strong negative emotion and +10 is strong positive emotion, and 0 is neutral). We tapped for “Trapped“, which was the emotion which presented the most strongly. During this round she had tears streaming down her cheeks and was quite overcome with emotion.

While tapping for something of strong emotion, it may show more strongly while focusing on it and allowing it attention. She was crying and asked me about how she could continue this at home, and said she felt that she needed to go. I told her that I wanted to tap with her for “Calm” to de-stress her energy system again if she was going to leave. I also recognised an emotional release in the crying, which although it can be hard to go through, is a very important thing with regards to evolving a problem.

At this point she said that she did feel better and was willing to do further tapping. She ranked her issue as -8, noticing that she did feel slightly better.

We then tapped for “Stuck“. She felt that it was less severe, and she noticed she was less teary during that round.

She felt that the strength of feeling about the issue was now -6. That she noticed that she no longer felt trapped anymore. The current feeling that she had now was a sense of silliness. She felt silly about having the problem, she also felt that the focus for her now was on how she would have to look silly if she had to stop doing something to find a toilet, or ask for details and plans about a trip or outing that other people didn’t seem to need.

We tapped for “Feeling silly“. She noticed that she struggled to retain this feeling as she went. After a few points on the face, the concern about feeling silly was already lessened and gone. Not an issue anymore. She ranked the strength of feeling about the issue as -3.

What remained about the feeling was a mild discomfort relating to affecting others with her problems. She was wanting to be in the situations again, and have the plans and outings again to see how she would feel.

We decided to think about the things that she wanted, instead of having the problem. She talked about wanting to be more spontaneous, going with the flow and doing things on the spur of the moment. She wanted to feel that it was easy to be spontaneous. We tapped for “Easy” and then “Freedom

She cried hard after the round for “Easy” and afterwards I asked what she felt the crying related to and she described it as a feeling of relief of her problem no longer controlling her. She was reminded of situations in her life that she now saw as being affected by her issue, where she hadn’t been aware at the time of how they had been impacted. She was also reminded of situations where she felt relaxed and enjoying herself, times when her issue wasn’t affecting her, times that she is likely to experience more of in the future.

We ended the session with her feeling at +1 about her issue. She was given ‘homework’ to tap for additional positives relating to her freedom and being able to do and go where she pleased without worrying.

I am so very grateful to be able to assist someone in evolving such long term issues affecting them so significantly, on a daily basis!

An Interview with Dr Silvia Hartmann

Dr Silvia Hartmann, you have achieved amazing things in the areas of emotional healing, energy healing, human and animal behaviour and development. You’ve developed and designed transformational, healing and educational tools including Project Sanctuary, The Genius Symbols, Emotional Transformation, and Energy EFT. You’ve also written and published powerful fiction and non-fiction books as well as created magical works of art and music..

Is there anything that you can’t do!?

Many things. But whatever I can’t do in the hard, I can do in Sanctuary. Thus, I can certainly have a go at most things, in my own way …

What brought you to energy work?

Like so many people, I have a measure of talent relating to extra sensory perception. But in the absence of some kind of logical explanation, I didn’t do that much with it. I was working as a researcher in modern animal behaviour. We tried to isolate physical factors that affected behaviour especially in companion mammals, such as dogs and horses. We found a lot but there was always an X-factor. One day, I had the revelation that the missing piece was the exchange of energies between social mammals. I wrote that up in the Harmony Program of 1993 and started to create training strategies based around these energy exchanges. I then switched to human behaviour and ran into the problem of the so called “unconscious mind.” This needed to be resolved, so I created Project Sanctuary. This was doing a good job and in 1998, I came across EFT, which was the first time I’d seen what I would call “real” energy work outside of my own research. I thought it would make a good bridge to get more people to understand the reality of energy work, so I put myself behind promoting it. In 2002, it was going great guns so I did some further refinement and research and created EmoTrance as the result of that. 

What do you feel has been your greatest success to date?

On a personal level, I would say the discovery of the 6th sense. That’s a pretty profound thing.

On the transpersonal level, I don’t know. At the moment, I’m betting on the SUE Scale.

You have been at the helm of many energy modalities, which is your favourite? Which do you personally use the most?

I use Project Sanctuary the most and that’s also what I turn to in moments of personal need. To me, it’s the most natural and satisfying way to interact with not just energy but really, the wider Universe. Wouldn’t be here without it …

What is your creative process like, how do you come up with new material?

Project Sanctuary, of course. I’m used to using it so we’re not talking about the ABC version of creating specific habitats. The thing is to have a question that needs answering. You need to want to know something. Without that, the whole process cannot start. “And what else is there?” is a good question when you run out.

Do you ever get creatively blocked or stuck?

Haha! That’s funny. 

What is your favourite song?

Starman by Bowie

You have worked with many people. What is the most impressive healing outcome that you have been a part of? Or your favourite?

I have never cured anyone of cancer. But it’s true, I haven’t tried. I have very little to do with the physical side of things; that’s a decision I made at some point. People get too hung up about physical healing. It’s understandable when you’re in pain, and yes, it’s the basis of existence. But we will die at some point, all of us, and for any of us, it could be much sooner than we think. So I’ve kind of specialist in the areas of the non-physical questions.

So then, what would I call a star healing event?

I was once with a builder who said quite viciously, “I’m so stupid,” because he’d left his hammer behind in his van. I turned around to him and said, “You’re not stupid.” He laughed and said, “Tell that to my teachers, they all agreed.”

I said, “They were wrong.”

He laughed a little nervously and looked up into my eyes. Hesitantly, he said, “What. all of them?”

And I looked right back at him and said, “Yes. All of them.”

His pupils dilated, this wave went through him and I knew for a fact his world would never be the same again. 

That’s the sort of healing I love.

What challenges have you faced when it comes to helping us humans through our struggles? What type of issues are the hardest for you to help others with?

Look, I don’t think helping people is hard. It’s not hard and it’s not long. It doesn’t entail strapping people to your back and carrying them around like some hideous burden.

The way I see it, I just look at the person and think to myself, “For sure, I am no angel, but what I have to give, I give to you.” 

That usually does … something.

And really, it is all I can do. I can’t do anymore than that. This being so, it is immaterial what the problem might be, or whether I can help or not in the sense of “fix that person so they can function according to societal standards at this time again.”

I know everyone wants healing to be physical healing. But I’m the soul guy. There aren’t enough of my kind about. Souls are really more important than their current physical bodies; and when they’re happy, or at least stop screaming for a bit, there’s more chance of physical changes as well.

As a mother yourself, do you have any suggestions for those who are having a hard time with parenthood? Or facing behavioural difficulties with their children?

Yes. De-stress and re-energize. The higher up towards +10 on the SUE scale you can go, the more “healing” you become to your environment, and the better your relationships become. And think of this not as a one time fix but like brushing your teeth. After every meal plus morning and night. With extra flossing. An ongoing process.

What’s your view on parents expressing their emotions in front of their children? (such as crying)

Whenever I hear the words “expressing emotions” I think of expressing oranges, or breast milk …

Seriously though, emotional honesty with children is … really, the 101 of having a meaningful relationship. Can you damage fragile children’s energy systems with emotional outbursts? Yeah, sure you can. Big time. But they won’t hate you for it and let you rot in an old people’s home or move to Australia when they grow up, not like the ones who have always been lied to will. That’s unforgivable, and thus it never is forgiven.

The best thing is to de-stress and re-energize, that makes then a good adult and a good role model. And if you’ve had a freak out, don’t beat yourself up for it. Do EFT or whatever, apologize to the kid if necessary, explain yourself and promise you’ll do better in future LOL.

So many people struggle with their self-view and how they feel about their bodies and themselves, do you have any advice or suggestions on how they might overcome this?

This is a very important issue, so much so that I gave a day’s lecture on the topic and made an energy therapy for body image called BeautyT

The thing to remember is that low self esteem, struggle, negative emotions are all stress susceptible. The more stressed a person is, the worse all of it becomes and it all lifts when stress recedes and the energy body becomes re-energized, starts to work again like the creator intented it to work.

Watch your stress levels first of all and if you think, “My god I’m hideous!” take it for an indicator that you’re clearly very stressed and need to take some energy action.

For body image problems that are related to traumas and sometimes also Guiding Stars, I advise to seek an experienced EFT or EmoTrance or MET practitioner and work on it.

Feeling bad about your body is a bad thing. It can ruin a person’s sex life.

Do you have a ritual by way of energy work, such as a morning prayer/meditation, energy self-defense, evening EmoTrance workout?

No. I go with the flow.

What makes you feel alive?

A tooth ache! Just kidding … Being alive is not something I tend to forget. I’ve had a number of near death experiences, I guess that sort of teaches you the difference.

What grounds you?

I feel like I’ve been permanently grounded ever since I arrived on Planet Earth! I take every opportunity to go higher that presents itself. Gravity takes care of the rest …

What is a typical day like for you?

Very exciting. Containing all sorts of different emotions. Lots of laughs. And a whole lot of very sensuous experiences in the widest possible metaphorical sense 🙂

What is the best tip you have for manifesting a success/goal/money/love? And what have you manifested personally?

Best tip is to aim high. Really, really high. If you start a band, don’t dream about playing down the local working man’s club. Dream about centre stage at Glastonbury instead. And keep that in mind as you go through the daily grind. Use it to uplift and inspire you.

I manifested a silver Mercedes Benz for practice at one time. That was interesting.

Energetically speaking, why do people experience depression?

No energy flow. Often not because they’re not being given energy, but because they’re not processing it. And they’re not outputting any energy. Which is why cats can help, they draw energy from people and eat it. Strange creatures that they are.

Do you believe it’s necessary to feel some low moments in life in order to enjoy the highs?

No. That’s a ridiculous idea. It’s like saying you have to eat shit in order to appreciate a good curry.

Do you feel that some people are born with natural talents or skills in things such as psychic ability?

My jury is still out on the nature/nurture debate.

Do you believe in: ghosts? aliens? fairies? politicians?

If I stop believing in them, will they go away and leave me alone?

What is your dream by way of energy awareness and the modern world? How would you like things to be?

I’d like for everyone to understand what emotions are and how they work. That would change everything. It does change everything, every time another person has that OMG moment when they understand they’re not really crazy after all.

What do you say to skeptics?

See ya later, alligator.

What frustrates you?

That I didn’t know what I know now when I was 14. (But an alternate timeline is under way in Sanctuary as we speak …)

What makes you laugh?

Monty Python and Father Ted.

What’s next for Silvia Hartmann?

Don’t know. We’ll have to wait and find out … 🙂

I’m in the unusual position, working in this day and age, that I publish my findings as they happen, live, as it were, rather than at the end of a 40 career in academy as it used to be the case. And I love being surprised by what I find. I think I’ve snuck that into my enquiry set ups at the baseline. I’m going to keep doing what I do and look forward to the next surprise. 

Anything else you’d like to share?

Yes. I am extremely grateful to be alive at this specific time in the history of the world, and in this place I’m in. Especially being a woman, there would be no way I could do the things I do in the Renaissance, in Ancient Rome or in Afghanistan, for that matter.

Praise be!

EFT Case Story – Trusting In The Universe In The Face Of Infertility

My client (C) has been trying to conceive a baby for two years. She was finding herself stressed about starting the process of IVF. She was not finding very positive stories relating to her same issues and was starting to feel scared that she wouldn’t be able to have kids.

As she already knew how to do EFT, she had tried tapping for positive affirmations about children yet found herself doubting what she was saying while doing so. (read more about affirmations and energy reversals here)

She also found that she was struggling to sleep, and feeling stressed about the unknown. She had originally come to me to ask the question of my guide as to whether she would ever have children or not. I suggested instead of seeking that information, that we use EFT to help C feel better about the entire situation. She agreed.

I firstly suggested she tap to de-stress by using “Calm“.

From there C felt like she might tap on “Trust” to help restore her trust in the universe providing, as that’s what she felt was happening and what was bothering her. That she didn’t trust that things would turn out. She felt far better after doing so, and decided to do several rounds on this same phrase, which further helped her.

By the next session C had found out that there was history of early menopause in her family. This was adding to her stress. After doing additional rounds on “Calm“, I suggested we look to a future aspect of her (the one who is pregnant or a mother), and approach the issue that way.

She felt that her aspect needed:

  • To stay calm
  • To trust/believe/have faith in the universe
  • To be strong/brave
  • Erase doubt
  • Erase fear

She said that at this point due to the rounds she had done (where she had tapped for “calm” and “trust”), she wasn’t feeling stressed about it anymore. C said “I’ve reached an inner calm. I have no doubt that the tapping I’ve been doing with you has helped to bring me here” and that she was hovering around the neutral point of 0 on the SUE scale. She said she was sleeping well also. She is getting to sleep quickly and staying asleep.

Since C was feeling the issue was at a neutral point I suggested we could tap for some positive set up phrases to energise the issue. She tapped for “I trust in the universe“, and “Whatever will be, will be“. She was then flooded with realisations that reminded her that even though things had gone badly over the last few years, she had actually been looked after by the universe.

For example, problems with her house meant sharing with others for awhile, which in turn lead to saving money and being able to afford their first home in a location perfect for them. The new house being affordable enough for her to be able to be a stay-at-home-mum when the time comes, unlike their original location. She recognised the opportunities that had arisen due to her not yet falling pregnant or having children – amazing holidays, inspiring new experiences she would not have done otherwise. She’d had the opportunity to look after her health and wellbeing and found a balance with diet and exercise that worked very well for her. Also, an unexpected job she had ended up in (after not getting the job she wanted) feels to her that it is her calling, and she loves it.

C said that she felt a weight off her shoulders having noticed that she really is being looked after by the universe. She is calm and relaxed and open to what will happen.


Unfortunately her first IVF treatment was unsuccessful due to equipment failure, yet C remains positive and enthusiastic. I wish her very well for her next attempt.

EFT Case Story – Panic Attacks and Anxiety

Tonight I had the pleasure of conducting an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) session over Skype with a new client. In just over one hour, she was able to learn how to do EFT and together we resolved two specific issues for her. Here are the details:

My client described that she had been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. She had been experiencing them for awhile but they had become more frequent for her. She was working to expand her business in beauty and massage therapy, and had noticed that before a new client came (and sometimes during a treatment) that she would experience: shakes, her heart rate would go up, she’d breathe shallowly and have to consciously try to calm herself down.

She described a feeling of intimidation, that she was wanting to be at a certain level with her business and therapies and feeling that she may not be there. She is wanting to impress new clients in particular, to improve her business and have return clients, and putting pressure on herself to do things right so they would come back. She understood that there was somewhat of a struggle within her as she knows that a person’s thoughts on a business as well as their decisions to return or not are something out of her hands, yet the panic attacks still happen.

I began by teaching her the Heart & Soul protocol (belonging to Energy EFT, by Silvia Hartmann) and using the phrase “Calm” to de-stress.

Thinking about her issue, she rated it as -10 on the SUE scale (where -10 is strong negative feeling and +10 is strong positive feeling and 0 is neutral). It is a severe issue for her.

We then tapped together for “Intimidated“. My client said she felt the anxiety sensation while we were tapping. She felt it rising and then it dissipated. She felt it through her heart and chest before it shifted. She said through this round she was thinking about an upcoming event with four new clients and how this might be, that it was a source of anxiety for her before but now she felt good about it.

She rated her issue now as +1 or +2 and was a little surprised by how she no longer felt concerned about these things when she thought about them. How quick it had worked.

With my client now at a neutral point on the scale, I let her know that we now could focus on tapping for the positives. She said she felt now that good things can come. She pictured herself doing her massages in a future event where there would be a lot of people and a lot of potential for new business. From this visualisation she said she would like more confidence and to tap for that.

We decided to tap for “Brave“. I was feeling great through this round (a feeling of not being able to not stop smiling, and wanting to laugh) and my client described that when she got to the hand that she felt overwhelmingly happy, really comfortable. She said “This is insane!” – very surprised and amused at how quickly and how well EFT can work.

She felt +8 at this point and we decided that we could do another round and push for +10.

She considered events where she was speaking in front of others and how this would be something that would also contribute to feeling panicked and having a rapid heart rate. When she visualises herself there now it is a sense of being ill-prepared and she feels that more confidence would help the situation.

We tap for “Confidence“. During this round the feeling in her body, that she would get at the public speaking events, presented itself before subsiding. My client said “I feel confident!”.

It had been pretty quick up to this point so I suggested that my client consider any other situations relating to public speaking and what they feel like, to see if there was anything else needing attention. It was seeming as though public speaking anxiety may be something slightly different to the panic attacks when dealing with new clients, but that there may be some crossover.

She was able to recall a situation and even while talking about it she described a feeling in her stomach as “yuck” and “whirry”, like a drop in the stomach when on a rollercoaster or similar. When she is taken to that specific scenario and is describing it, she says it feels like -10. She describes how she’d always been the type to shy away from the limelight and now she was challenging herself in ways which put her more in the spotlight and that the anxiety was building as she was doing this.

We tapped for “Being in the limelight“. We both noticed a very different energy in this round compared to the last. The energy felt very dense and heavy and slow, where the previous round’s energy felt light and floaty. When I asked her how she felt after this round she said “So different! It’s like ‘What was I worried about?'”. She described the feeling now as being -1.

She said that the feeling in the stomach was no longer there, it was more in the ribs. And the issue was less about her being the focal point and more about her opinions and their importance. Being able to express opinions without worrying about them. She recognised that her truth was important but it was hard to express.

We tapped for “Speaking my truth, no worrying“.  Tapping for this round was a gradual build up of light energy again, a sense of not being able to stop smiling, a sense of being proud of who we are – feeling proud and confident. Overwhelming bliss. My client rated this feeling as +10.

As we disconnected she said that she was feeling good, calm and excited about what the future holds for her. 🙂

Using EFT For Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

What’s PMDD?

According to the Wikipedia entry for PMDD, it is defined as severe PMS leading up to the menstrual cycle as well as a few days after menstruation has begun.

The main emotional symptoms are listed as:

  • feelings of deep sadness or despair, and suicide ideation
  • feelings of intense tension or anxiety
  • increased intense sensitivity to rejection or criticism
  • panic attacks
  • rapid and severe mood swings, bouts of uncontrollable crying
  • lasting irritability or anger, increased interpersonal conflicts; typically sufferers are unaware of the impact they have on those close to them
  • apathy or disinterest in daily activities and relationships
  • difficulty concentrating
  • chronic fatigue
  • food cravings or binge eating
  • insomnia or hypersomnia; sleeping more than usual, or (in a smaller group of sufferers) being unable to sleep
  • feeling overwhelmed or feelings of being out of control
  • increase or decrease in sex drive
  • increased need for emotional closeness

Sufferers may have many of these symptoms or one. This is an issue close to my heart as once a month my world would turn upside down. I felt like I was possessed by something I had no control of. It impacted on my husband and children and friends and family and relationships. It impacted on how I saw the world around me. It was a thick emotional filter that existed between myself and the rest of the world.

How Can PMDD Be Managed?

I had tried herbs and vitamins and breathing and journalling and was still plagued by this ‘demon’. I took the flower essence She Oak for many months, and although my cycle regulated and became much shorter (from ~45 days to ~30, an 11 day period to 7 days), I still had the severe PMS which I came to understand as PMDD.

I asked a wise woman for her advice on how to handle it emotionally/energetically. Her first suggestion was to de-stress energetically, step one for any emotional issue! However I was using EFT and de-stressing constantly through this emotional storm and feeling as though I was using a bucket with holes in it to bail out a sinking boat. I wasn’t getting anywhere fast!

Her second suggestion was to treat this PMDD part of me as a separate part of me. A part of me who is needing much support and assistance and exploding in rage and emotion once a month, perhaps because of unmet needs. If I gave attention to this aspect throughout the cycle, would ‘she’ no longer need to release fury once a month? It is called the Aspect Model in Energy EFT.

Using The Aspect Model for PMDD

So I decided to track my progress through one menstrual cycle to see what presented and what the PMDD Aspect was going through. (CD = Cycle Day)

CD 6
The PMDD aspect just wants a break, and is frantic to get all of the unfinished things done around the house so she doesn’t have to see them (and be overwhelmed at PMS time). I decided to paint my laundry, and gave objects a permanent ‘home’ that needed them. I also gave things we had no use for to my local op shop to declutter.

CD 9
The PMDD aspect wants to cry and has a heavy heart. I had noticed a tension and sensitivity in general on this day. My husband was frustrating me. I tapped for “needs to cry”. I reassessed the PMDD aspect and felt anger and tapped for “the aspect is angry”. Once the anger had been cleared I felt the PMDD aspect was confused and overwhelmed and tapped for this. When I asked her what it was that she needed, I felt that she was needing: a friend, love, support, and feels like she has none of it. My husband was distant emotionally and criticising things and it was hitting a nerve in the sense of not meeting any of the PMDD aspect’s needs. It made it more obvious to me that I needed to seek out what I needed in a positive way – for example, ask for a hug and initiating a conversation instead of getting annoyed and feeling unloved.

CD 17
The PMDD aspect is happy, just needs sleep.

CD 18
The PMDD aspect needs reassurance. I tapped for “the aspect is okay”. I was then given the impression (mental image) that the aspect could march in and take control of everything and get things tackled very quickly. As though it was an issue if things weren’t under control. I tapped for “the aspect doesn’t need to be in control to be safe”.

CD 20
The PMDD aspect is frustrated about mess with her childrens’ toys, so I decided to sit down with my children (and husband) to work out how to manage the toys and what would happen if they weren’t tidied, rather than the mess being my responsibility all the time and causing emotional stress. The PMDD aspect is relieved that there are now rules in place. The PMDD aspect is worried about the period being on its way in the next week or so. I tapped for “the aspect thinks she will lose her cool”.

CD 28
The PMDD aspect needs to have a cry, and focus her attention inward. I tapped for “The aspect wants to cry” and “the aspect wants to focus within”. I also had a bath and took time for myself and gave myself permission to focus on me and me alone.

CD 31
The PMDD aspect is highly annoyed at her husband. I tapped for “The aspect thinks her husband is useless”. (sorry honey – this process was well before we had worked through our issues with intimacy)

My period started the following day. I expected to feel far more out of control than I did at this stage. It was significant progress. I recognised each feeling as it arose and gave it the attention that it needed.

Life After PMDD?

It has been several cycles for me since then. I don’t consider myself to have PMDD anymore. There are emotions that surface prior to a period (which I still call PMS due to the timing of when they appear). However they are MUCH more subtle and I no longer feel out of control or possessed by them. I am aware of the emotions, not driven by them. These emotions are healing opportunities that I welcome – each cycle revealing different issues to give attention to and shift beyond. I use EFT for these issues as arise and still occasionally ask the PMS aspect what she needs. She is quietly content most of the time these days. 🙂

Giving ourselves (our aspects!) the opportunity to express what we need and want for balance and happiness is so important. The answers are there within us and just need to be given permission to come forward and be heard.

Stress And The Energy Body

What’s The Big Deal About Energy Body Stress?

What does stress mean to you? Some examples that come to my mind:

Clenched fists, tense jaw, tight shoulders, pacing the room, screaming, wanting to tear hair out/punch something or someone, crying, wanting to hurt oneself, panic attack, temper tantrums, making mistakes trying to do something too quickly, finding it hard to sit and pay attention, having to re-read things several times before they absorb, not being able to sit still, breathing shallowly, faster pulse.

All of those things are symptoms of stress, and I’m sure there are many more. As well as those isolated symptoms, some mental/emotional disorders can have stress as a contributor. With heightened stress, the physical body is under strain and the energy body is also under strain.

As an energist, I’m here to talk about the energy body only. In energy terms we feel the world through a layer of stress and we may respond to this stress layer rather than be able to see the genuine issues. We act irrationally as far as the outside world is concerned, but very rationally indeed if the stress layer was our true reality. And at those points in time, the stress to our energy bodies is so BIG and surmounting that it may as well be real.

Stress doesn’t only affect ourselves. It has flow-on effects to all of our relationships and experiences. Our parent-child relationships, client-professional relationships, how we drive, how we work, how we live, how we sleep and how we learn.

The potential for energy body stress to fuck up our lives is HUGE. This is why it is so important to be aware of it and give it attention and energy. I cannot express enough how much reducing energy stress alone (even with no other changes) could make a positive difference to our lives.

So What Can We Do?

We are not trapped in this state however, and heightened stress isn’t essential for a full life. De-stressing the energy body (with flow-on to the physical one) is as easy as using Emotional Freedom Technique and tapping for phrases such as ‘Stress’ itself, or ‘Calm’, ‘Peace’, ‘Relax’.. any word that has the impact of relaxing you. The simpler the better. Tap along to my video using the word or phrase of your choice at each point. You can tap to de-stress at any time and any occasion: In the car at the side of the road after a near-miss, in the toilet at a dinner party with someone you clash with, prior to a job interview. You can even tap silently with that pressing feeling of stress doing all the ‘talking’ for you, you don’t necessarily need to use words for EFT to work. Your thoughts and intentions speak volumes. Using words out loud is recommended for focusing if you are new to EFT however.

What Can I Do To Reduce Stress Levels In My (Family) Life More Permanently?
So what if you are tapping to de-stress multiple times a day and yet you’re still under the weight of stress and struggling in general? You might recognise for a moment that you feel better, but due to things that arise in your environment, or ongoing issues, you are back to feeling stressed soon after. The de-stressing absolutely assists in the heat of the moment, but it pays to look further into things rather than just keep skimming the top off the stress pile.

Consider these top 7 stressors in family life:

1. Sex life of alpha couple
2. General alignment of alpha couple on common goals and values
3. Money
4. Health/mental health concerns in the nuclear family
5. Social status/societal expectation/work
6. Family/social relationships (excluding nuclear family)
7. Long term worries (of any kind)

These things impacting us are likely to mean that when additional unpredictable stresses occur (the car breaks down, we’re running late for an appointment, we have a broken night’s sleep) that our coping ability is severely impacted and we are more likely to display one or more of the symptoms of stress above.

We are all different and are going to have our own histories and beliefs, however tools such as EFT cater for our differences and allow an individual path forward through these issues.

So look at each entry there in the list. How does the topic name itself make you feel? What does it remind you of? If you read it and feel positive and flowing energy, that’s fantastic! Go onto the next list item. BUT – if you read it and you think “Hmm maybe there’s something there..”, or feel any kind of tension, then go with that feeling and look at it further. What’s the ‘something’? Whatever resistance is there is going to benefit from attention and energy work.

Some of you may look at the list and instantly recognise what is probably impacting on your family, but may feel that the stressors in are unchangeable and therefore the ‘somethings’ and resistances are there to stay. You may feel defeated in terms of your lot in life and a little like “Why bother?”. To those people, I ask you this: What have you got to lose by focusing attention on these things and letting them evolve as they will? Anything that is true, real and permanent is not something that EFT or any other energy work can shift. In fact energy work is to help you to be your true self, without layers of energy disruptions in the way. So you literally have nothing to lose in the sense of who you are, your identity and your inner self. And what you gain is up to you! The process of tapping takes 2 minutes approximately and you may notice improvement in as little as one or two rounds of that.

Care to give yourself 2 minutes of loving attention that might just make your whole life easier?

It’s a very interesting experience and well worth the time. I would love to hear from you! I’ll be continuing to blog the journey of looking at my own stressors as part of improving my son’s behaviour and the feel of my household.

A Walk Along The Beach

This was created with de-stressing and grounding in mind. I hope it helps you if you’re needing it. 🙂


 I am standing on the top of a sand dune looking out to sea. It is overcast and I wonder if it might rain soon. The afternoon sun isn’t revealing herself from behind the clouds. I wrap a woollen blanket around me tighter. The wind is cold and on my face it stings a little.

The ocean seems rough, the waves are crashing down angrily onto the sand. The sound it makes is annoying me. A persistent nagging reminder of how things move forward on and on, regardless of anything.

I walk down the dune to be closer to the water. I can taste the salt in the air. The blanket is so comforting around my shoulders and I pull it closer around my neck. It feels like a warm hug. As I’m getting closer to the water the sand gets heavier and wetter around my bare feet. I am as close to the water as I want to go now and stand watching my feet as they start to slowly sink and shift in the wet sand.

A wave comes up and crashes, leaving a foamy aftermath which slides up the beach and tickles the tips of my toes. I am surprised by how nice the water feels. It’s not cold at all. I can’t help but laugh.

It happens again and I am softened and warmed by this cheeky act performed by something greater than I. I want to play a game with this foam and try and sneak my toes away at the last minute. But the sand is too dense and my toes get wet and again I laugh and a grin is now firmly on my face. The woollen blanket is looser around my shoulders now, I feel warmer having danced this little dance with the ocean foam. I flick some water up with my big toe towards the ocean as if to taunt it.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a shell which is higher up the water line and on drier sand and a little further up the beach. I walk towards it to have a closer look. It is a pearly pink and white coloured conical shell. I am crouched over it and behind me it seems the clouds have moved out of the way because the shell’s surface catches the sun and it sparkles in the light. I decide to pick it up. The sand around it sticks to my hands. It is in the palm of my left hand, sitting still and sparkling. I want to laugh at myself for being so child-like about this. It’s JUST a shell. The bubbles of a laugh are tickling my throat from the inside.

Suddenly the shell tilts and I feel something move on my palm. I gasp and in my surprise I drop the shell to the ground. Feeling apologetic to the shell and whatever is inside it, I instantly crouch down to look at where it lay.

The shell lifts and from underneath it a tiny mouse figure appears. He is standing upright and is wearing a vest and pants. I am so surprised by this that I laugh out loud. Having moved out from under the shell completely, this mouse is now standing, hands on hips, looking at me, frowning. He looks really annoyed.

I put one hand over my mouth to try and stop my laughter. Once I’m slightly more composed I clear my throat and say “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you”.

The mouse nods sharply, acknowledging sternly that he was in fact disturbed, no doubt. He turns his back on me, goes back under and inside the shell, and just like that he is gone.

I laugh to myself, shake my head in disbelief and after a moment of wondering whether to disturb the mouse again or not, I turn on my heel and continue on down the beach a smile on my face.