Being Shiny – Parts 1 and 2

Two different experiences today of the energy kind that I’d like to share with you. Both relate to gold and freedom and lightness of being. Hope you like. 🙂

#1 – The Stone Wall

The first experience came about after I was writing an email to a friend and I was making plans about my future and while typing these things, I ‘saw’ myself piling packages and boxes and trinkets up against a big stone wall. It felt like my plans and ideas were pointless because I wasn’t actually able to get anywhere with this mother of a stone wall up against me. I felt like I was kidding myself.

So later, when I had the opportunity, I took myself back to this wall and expanded upon it with my energy mind to explore it.  So.. stone wall. It’s taller than me and one big solid chunk of grey stone. It is blocking my path. I can’t see around it. I can’t move it or shift it. I am pushing against it with as much force as I can muster. I’m feeling frustrated that it’s not moving.

Where am I? I feel hot. The air is humid and sticky. I am sweating and I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s a stifling environment. My face feels so hot. I want to escape at that moment! And I realise that I am in a tunnel and this stone wall is blocking my exit forward, and behind me is another stone. I am trapped here. (literally between a rock and a hard place.. hardy har har! hehehehehehe)

I recognise that I could fall into a heap here. I could just flail and fall into a heap and cry and moan about not knowing what to do, that I can’t win. But I don’t. I know full well that I have the power to affect change here.

I notice on the ground near me is a ball which is solid glass but it is also radiating gold light from within. The glow from this ball is what is lighting up this tunnel and allowing me to see. It is bright and beautiful. I pick it up and am holding it in my fingers, the shine reflecting on the stone surface.

I touch the gold ball onto the stone wall. Just to see what happens. The joy of energy worlds! It IS only energy, so you can do anything, try anything.

With a metallic clang and a rippling noise, the point where the ball connected turns to gold. The gold quickly spreads outward from this point until the stone wall is no longer stone, but completely gold.

It looks shiny and cold. I decide to touch it with my hand. It is cool to touch. In doing so my palm sinks into the surface slightly. I pull my hand away and look at my palm. It is gold now too. At this point I notice that the air feels less stifling and cooler. My hand leaves a print on the wall. I look from my palm and back to the wall and I decide to lean into the wall.

I am slowly leaning into it and I am absorbed into it. It is hard going, I am pushing forward, slowly and steadily moving forward. I fall through to the other side of the thick wall. I am free! I am golden too!

There is a flower garden here and the air is so fresh and light. I see butterflies, the sun is shining brightly and I can hear and see birds around too. There are garden beds of daisies and other pretty flowers and tall trees with green leaves providing shade. A cool breeze is blowing.

I breathe in the freshness and I relax. It feels so good to be free! I am dancing and twirling! Gold sparks are flying off me as I turn. I feel magical and special. 🙂

[Editing this after the event showed me how that same day was a significant one for me in the sense of moving forward with career plans!]

#2 – The Goddess

The second experience was later in the day, in an evening meditation class as part of a guided meditation which was created/channeled by Margaret of Mystic Enchanted Insights.

Margaret guided us gently down a wooded path, through trees and nature, to a chapel to meet someone special… We may have all heard the same words through the meditation but with our individual experiences through our lives, I’m sure we created very different places in our energy minds!

My path had very tall and skinny trees, with very floppy greenery on top, for example. I wonder if someone else in the class had a forest. And maybe a thicker forest would have made for a darker world for them.

So I reached the chapel. My version of the chapel was a building in ruins. A place where no one had been for a long time. Made of stone, yet with some walls having crumbled down and without a roof. Much like this.

Although more shaded and secluded. And in here amongst the rubble was a gold statue. Sitting as though it had been spared by what time had done to the rest of the building.

The gold statue was of a Goddess. It was sculpted and had some ruby detailing, but not very clearly defined. It reminded me of a Buddha statue but also fertility goddess kind of smooth pear shape.

Then we were guided to see that the statue had come to life. My Goddess became a caucasian woman, in her 50s, who was wearing an orange and yellow sari. She was motherly towards me and loving. She was very patient, calm and peaceful.

I asked her what I needed to know right now and she came up to me and pulled a piece of fabric away that I had over the crook of my left arm with a little tearing noise. Lovingly of course. Everything she did was graceful. I reached my hand out to bring it back to me. I told her I needed that and wanted it back! I felt slight desperation about this and wanting to keep it.

She said “But look”, with a smile on her face, and showed me a rag which was dirty and grey and limp. She told me I didn’t need it anymore. I assured her that I did. She pulled further fabric strips away from me. I protested some more. Again she told me to look but this time she gestured to me and told me to look at myself. I looked down and saw that my skin was gold and shining underneath where the fabric strips had been taken. I still wasn’t sure about this, so I told her no, that I didn’t want to let go of these things yet.

She nodded and backed away from me slowly. Telling me that she knew that I would do so when the time was right.

Her backing away had me concerned and wishing she was back beside me again and giving me that ‘push’ to try something different. I felt regret but comfort all at once.

With her having moved away and this space to myself I removed some grey fabric rags that were over my feet. I marvelled at my gold toes and danced around. This was exciting!

When I contemplated removing more of the rags I felt resistance and due to where I was and the meditation soon coming to a close, I decided to just go with this feeling. (I may have used EFT and tapped for the resistance if I was at home) I felt torn between shedding more layers or not, and ended up doing nothing.

I farewelled the Goddess and the chapel and the trees and the path as the meditation came to a close, but my head was very curious about this all. This meditation as well as the common themes I can’t help but notice.

To me, I am on the verge of being (what I call) shiny. Which is probably why gold is everywhere I look! There is a fear of ‘shininess’ though, and some protective layers come in handy. It also takes some work to get myself feeling shiny. And I see that a gradual effort, on a path of least resistance, is going to get me there. And wow, when I’m there….? I can’t wait! It may not only be my energy that dances, twirls and radiates!

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The Tower – Lost In the Woods

Prior to the previous post where I wrote about a wall that was in the way of having a fulfilling sex life, I had been thinking about sex in terms of energy and what happens along the way. I had read about, and been intrigued by tantric sex. My understanding of it is mindfulness of sexual energy and of each other. I like the concept.

So the next time I had a sexual encounter I had the thought about sexual energy and how it might rise, fall, expand, shift during. I could feel my energy was stuck at my lower back. I talked with my husband about it and asked if he could feel his and he said it went all the way up his spine to the top of his head, and then back down to the base of his spine (or thereabouts). It moved quite quickly. He said his felt stuck inside him where mine didn’t even get a chance to ‘start’.

So we began an energy habitat exercise for ourselves. “If that sexual energy was a place in time and space, where would it be?”

For me it was me being lost in the woods, cold, dark, afraid. Dark sky but stars, lots of trees. For Andrew it was a tower with lights going up and down it. He felt locked in.

So I was in the woods and my feeling was fear. I didn’t want to do anything because I was scared to. I was scared to take a step in any direction.  I created myself a torch in my pocket to try and help me find my way. But once I had the torch in my hand, I was too scared to turn it on because I thought I would attract things to me that I didn’t want, like a wolf or something.

I wanted something to guarantee that I’d be safe. My husband suggested a protective pendant around my neck. I was thinking about a gun lol. He said he saw me with a stone pendant around my neck and the pendant had a triangle symbol on it. What he didn’t know was that I had recently seen a triangle symbol pendant in another habitat experience..

So – amulet on, torch turned on. I feel braver. Safer. I move forward and there’s a clearing ahead with lights. Which I suspect is the tower. I freak out and panic. I don’t know if I want to move forward. I create a tent and set it up, and decide to stay put for awhile. During this whole time I can feel the energy rising up and it’s about at the solar plexus height.

I tapped for fear and courage. I then packed up the tent again and decided to keep going. I then found the tower. I felt too scared to enter the tower (what’s in there, what will I find, what will I see, what will happen to me, will I ever come out?) so set up the tent again outside it and stayed there overnight.

The next day I am not afraid. I’m there again and I knock on the door and I hear footsteps coming. I’m a little scared of what’s coming. It’s my husband’s aspect and he opens the door and lets me in. He leads me through corridors without windows and I am afraid of being trapped and not being able to get out. He tells me (the real husband, as we’re talking about it together at the time) that his tower has windows all around the building. So there are suddenly windows (these habitats rock like that!) and I’m feeling safer. Less trapped. I’m in an elevator and we take it up to the roof of the tower.

Up on the roof it is a flat space surrounded by trees on one side and on the other side is a beautiful view. We’re looking down into a valley full of trees, and can see a mountain range on the other side. A mild breeze is blowing, it’s comfortable. I feel great here. Not afraid.

It’s at this point my husband starts talking about how his energy self is afraid of letting go and being itself because I might not like who he is or what he says or does. We talked and tapped – I won’t go into that here but it was a breakthrough for him.

Our aspects ended up taking flight from the top of the tower. Together hand-in-hand we fly around the area. It is free and envigorating and exciting. 🙂

Drifting in Space

I talked a client/friend through creating a habitat to represent their life. I knew that they were at a crossroads of sorts and hoped that this might help them to decide what to do. This is an example of how you can’t plan how these things will go, and also how things that seem to not be going anywhere are actually unfolding gently.

Their habitat was darkness. Just dark space. Not scary, just dark. No particular time just dark and quiet. There are no stars, just dark space. The aspect is just sitting on a comfortable chair. They have ‘no feelings at all’. The aspect does not feel any need to do anything at all but sit.

I will admit that I felt a little stuck here as the practitioner and guide. I said: “Okay so a day passes in space and it’s a new day. More days pass. What is our aspect up to?”

Still the aspect is still floating through space. More days pass. One hundred days pass and I wonder whether the aspect wants light, wants to move, anything?

No, the aspect is happy to sit in peace. It’s a comfortable place.

Is there anything in that place they can see or are they feeling any sensations on their body?

Nothing. Totally alone. Comfortable drifting along where they are being taken.

Another 100 days pass. Our aspect is still cosy, calm, comfortable, not in a hurry to go anywhere, just drifting.

So I suggested that we tap for ‘drifting’. The aspect is still happy to sit and enjoy the peace. She looks around and she can see some stars now. It is a beautiful dark sky with stars and peaceful to look up at the stars from the comfy chair. The aspect feels relaxed. She is happy to take in their beauty.

I wonder if there are any blocks to feeling emotions at all or feeling with regards to rapport with myself, as the habitat wasn’t matching the situation. We tap for ‘feeling’. After this the aspect is feeling at peace and happy within.

I admitted that this was not turning out as I had expected and that I was curious what was happening. I asked the client if they understood a correlation of what their aspect was going through in relation to their real life situation.

The client talked about how when she sees stars at night that she is struck by their beauty but also by the fact that due to how light travels that they may be twinkling as far as we can see but may have burnt out (died) and we wouldn’t know it for some time. She supposed that perhaps she had been looking at something for a long time that hadn’t been there and she hasn’t seen it.

She admitted that this was the most challenging thing she was going through in her life: Believing something had existed and was real, yet had it be proven to be false all along.

So while it seemed  that nothing was happening, a small unfolding revealed something quite significant to her.

It wasn’t long after this habitat session that this client began a gentle process of moving forward in her situation.