Scared of Being Happy

I noticed this afternoon that I felt good. That there was nothing I needed or wanted. That I was happy exactly where I was at, and with what I was doing, which was nothing exciting. Just sitting at home. I wasn’t hungry, tired, lonely, bored, cold, uncomfortable. My house wasn’t perfect – I had laundry and crumbs everywhere. My kids had been fighting. I wasn’t immaculately presented. But I was content. Happy!

…And then I got a slight panicked feeling. Feeling that this couldn’t be right. That something would probably happen soon. That I couldn’t possibly feel like this for any length of time. That someone or something was going to upend it.

Thankfully I know that this panic is only energy, so I decided to give it the boot!

My favourite approach when I use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) for self-healing is to use the Aspect Model and ‘talk’ to the aspect of myself that has a problem and tap on their behalf. It is a very good way to handle problems where there is an inner argument or a clash of beliefs. In this case, there is an aspect that believes that things can’t possibly be problem-free. This aspect believes that happiness and peaceful moments are fleeting. Let’s call them the Pessimist Aspect.

Hey Pessimist Aspect. I know you’re a little concerned right now..

Yes, I’m worried. Waiting for the axe to fall. [I tap for “The aspect is waiting for the axe to fall” and “The aspect is scared of being happy”]

Why don’t you think you could just be happy.. unconditionally?

Because there’s always something! [I tap for “The aspect believes there’s always something”] I just don’t know HOW to be a happy person. I know how to be a broken person and ‘fix’ them, that’s easy. What do happy people do? How do they live? I don’t know how to be happy. [I tap for “The aspect doesn’t know how to be a happy person”]

It feels all new, hey. Exciting!

Yes, definitely. I am excited too. What if everything I ever wanted was here and now but I was too scared or stressed to enjoy it??

Do you feel like you need to have all the answers and know exactly how things will turn out? Can things just flow?

Of course they can. And no I don’t need to have all the answers. I’m looking forward to this unfolding. I’m ready to feel happy. [I tap for “The aspect is ready to be happy”]

So are you happy? Really? Without any niggles?

Yes! Feels good! [For extra buzzy light energy, I tap for “The aspect feels good being happy!”]
Do you have any aspects that freak out about happiness or living a peaceful life?

Saying The Right Words

I asked my energy mind for some help with a future public speaking opportunity and some support for that future aspect. Here is the outcome:

I see a lady with flowing robes. Well her sleeves are flowing and made of a see-through gauzy material. The rest of her outfit looks like a velvet material. It is dark green. The sleeves are green too. She is up in front of people and is speaking. I’m not sure about what but I don’t feel it’s important here. She is standing up and talking and as she’s talking she is using her arms and moving them around. Her hair is neat and almost unnoticeable. Her presence is strong.

 

It’s daytime and out the window I can see the bush, Australian native trees. I can hear magpies warbling too, the window is slightly open. A soft breeze is blowing in. I am starting to see and hear the group now too. Occasional movements in chairs as they shift.

The speaker sounds confident in what she is saying. She is gentle of tone but matter of fact. I am seeing the audience and they are listening quietly. Looking at her intently. Some of their eyes and expressions look a little serious and it’s a little unnerving as an observer.

(I tap for this feeling, and then tap for what presented itself during that round of tapping which was a sense that the seriousness was a precursor to an attack or judgement.)

I look again at the audience after the tapping. Their eyes have softened and they seem to be smiling slightly. The expression is one of supportive interest. However the speaker isn’t concerned by their expressions at all. It is as if she is there but connected strongly to a source that is elsewhere.

Her information flows out in a very natural, easy way and I feel it is much like a song, like music. The words are rolling off her tongue, from her lips and spreading through the room like a feeling of joy. Her words have power and intention and they come from her heart. I see gold. Gold at her heart. It is as if her skin is transparent and through the green velvet a heart shape is glowing and radiating. It is getting stronger and brighter until it is so bright that the audience can’t see her face or anything else but this golden heart.

They are entranced, mesmerised, as if they were drunk on love. The speaker embraces the moment and all is silent, connected, bonded.

Wow.